Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
- Add a comment
- Go to I JUST BEEN SLAPPED IN THE FACE............................................
WHAMENATOR
thank you so much for everything and your lectures and all that you are the best................take care I will miss you and your shoes....lol...............take care..........I am so scared but I can do this.......
posted by
_Symphony_
on August 1, 2004 at 3:56 AM
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Good luck and prayers, My Lovely Friend!!!!!!!!!!!
Whammie 
I know you hurt and are scared!!!!!!!!!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 31, 2004 at 4:11 PM
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WHAMENATOR
thank you so much for your lecture, YOU ARE RIGHT! thank you for telling me off, that is a good kick up the ass, you have got me thinking over a hell of a lot more things, you should know so I believe you, some of what you wrote has already happened and I dont want to wait for anymore, thank you so much for your advice, for lecturing me, caring for me, being a wonderful friend, your support, encouragement, you are truly wonderful, all the best to you..............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 31, 2004 at 2:28 AM
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SYMPHONY, I WANTED TO SAY THIS BEFORE, BUT DID NOT WANT YOU TO HEAR
CRITICISM............"Tomorrow" you say. You are still procrastinating, because you are reluctant. What was wrong with "right now!"
Like I said, there are many undocumented cases of abuse where the abused just take their beatings. When emotional abuse is enough to control, then the abuser does not need to escalate into the physical........When a slap is enough to tame you, then he does not need the fist, the chair or the 2x4. If smashing a table puts you in enough fear, then he does not need to "tap you up"........
But when the beatings become bad enough that you flee everything you own and seek safety in a shelter............and on average return to that situation 5 or 6 times before you actually make an attempt to get out of the abusive situation.....hmmmmmmm............
When we catch them, we revoke their phone privileges, but guess who the arrested abuser generally calls first, as soon as he gets to jail. His victim!!!!!!!!!
He cries. He tells her he is sorry, and he loves her, and if she is downtrodden enough, that it was her fault and because of her he got arrested! Sometimes he tells her that he is going to lose his job because of her, and then she starts calling the station to see if we can unarrest him!
He tells her that it will never happen again, or else that if it were not for how she acts, he would not have hit her, and she accepts the blame.
The victims have a tendency to blame the police for the arrests rather than the actions of their partners. One officer arrested a man, after when they arrived on scene they witnessed this woman being beaten like a man. She came over to the officer in court, and cussed the officer out for arresting her man!!!!!!!!
Go to the Wizard and get some courage, and get out of that situation!!!!!!!! You may hurt, be sad, scared, and lonely, but if you stay there, the dollar in my pocket says that you can expect another affectionate Bitch Slap in the very near future!!!!!!!!
I may be down on my own love life, but I am also jealous of those with the good relationships. You do not qualify, Dear, and I am only encouraging you to take this bold, drastic, painful step, because in the long run it is to your benefit and that of your children, and I do care about you!!!!!!!
Don't keep making excuses.........and if you leave for a day or two, he may be on his best behavior for a little bit, but I bet you that dollar no matter what he says nor no matter how delighful this Homeymoon Phase in the Cycle, when he attacks you the next time, which there will be a next time, it will be worst than the last time!!!!!!!
Lecture over...................
Whammie 
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 31, 2004 at 12:31 AM
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WHAMENATOR
I think you should go and be a councellor.............great advice.
I am going to go, even if it is for a short time.
I cant go just like that though, but I am going to pack tomorrow...............thanks for everything..................take care you are the best.................love symphony
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 11:05 AM
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People do not change unless they want to change, and then they generally
must have a reason for wanting to. If you shake up his life by leaving then maybe he will get the counseling he needs. But if he is an alcoholic, as he begins to work the program, there are going to be a great many changes in him. No matter what, the dynamics of your relationship are going to change. And it will be a lot of work for the both of you.
The first step, and I don't know how else to say this, is to take care of you! You need to get out of there!!!!!! Perhaps a reunion will occur, but not with things as status quo.
Goodness, maybe I should go back for my Master's and become a counselor.....!!!!
Take care of you, SYMPHONY. He is a grown man. I know you said for better or worse, but being abused should not filter into the concept of for worse!
Get out of there, Love!!!!!!
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 30, 2004 at 10:53 AM
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You can thank me by getting out of that situation!!!!!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 30, 2004 at 10:48 AM
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WHAMENATOR
thank you so much for everything...............you are wonderful, thanks for your advice, support, kindness, for reading for commenting...............I can not thank you enough..................thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 10:45 AM
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Answer: No more than 24 hours.
They either get straight released when they are sober, or they have to go to court or post a bond or whatever. I am a little removed from that end of it, but it is no more than 24 hours, as a rule.
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 30, 2004 at 10:43 AM
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WHAMENATOR
I will thanks
could I ask one more thing? don't answer if you do not want to...I will understand
but how long do you keep them in custody for drunk and disordely.?...........or is all police cells different
I just want to know if I should be worried...............take care and thanks for everything..........
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 10:39 AM
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Maxine, a leopard does not change his spots! Call a Hotline!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 30, 2004 at 10:34 AM
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WHAMENATOR
thank you so much for your wonderful advice, it means so much to me,
is it too late now, will he never change? even if he gets off the drink?...he has never done anything like this, although he does say awful things and has for a long time.
even if I have a break from him, how will I know that giving up on him, is the answer,
sorry I am just confused....no need to answer me...............thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 10:31 AM
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SYMPHONY, even if he cries and promises it will never happen again,
I promise you that it will! It is in their handbook, and a part of his make up.
I know it is difficult and it hurts, but it did not start out as physical abuse. Most likely it began as psychological abuse, until you developed the strenght to realize you are worth more than that! Then he had to escalate on the control factor to keep you in check. That is why it is progressive. As you get stronger, or numb, and learn how to take a slap, well then the slap must develop into a punch...........and so on.
That is one of the reasons why Domestic Violence is a huge source of murder, too many women make excuses for the men, love them and try to rescue them, and don't get out. If you love yourself and your children, you need to get out.
You are guaranteeing them the same legacy by staying!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other problem is the old, "If I can't have you then no one else will" syndrome.
I had to do a report for a Lady who had her paperwork tight, protection orders and all. When she dates, she has to have her dates meet her elsewhere because of her jealous ex-husband. When she came home from a date, he was hiding in a closet upstairs and attacked her with a knife. She had to flee her own home and run to a neighbor's for safety.
Again, YOU NEED TO GET OUT, Maxine. There is no way to sugarcoat that advice, and I know you are going to hurt. Do what another blogger said, and call an anonymous battered woman's hotiline.
Love you, Maxine!!!!!!
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 30, 2004 at 10:21 AM
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DamonLeigh
thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:43 AM
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jamryn
thank you so much for everything.......................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:43 AM
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PASSIONTHROUGHU
you changed your name........great.
thanks for everything, thanks for listening and commenting...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:42 AM
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Gheeghee
thank you so much for all your support and encouragement, I am trying to be strong, but I dont feel it at all..........thanks for everything.............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:41 AM
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PlainJane
thank you so much ...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:40 AM
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Curly-Jo
thank you for your comment, that sounds like my husband , I was in a violent relastionship before I got with my husband, it was my husband who saved me from the last relastionship. he said he would never lay a hand on me. I dont know what to think anymore.................thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:40 AM
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Nasty.
All Strength to you.
Damon
posted by
DamonLeigh
on July 30, 2004 at 8:39 AM
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Jay9
yes I called the police, he still is not home, I dont think they would of kept him this long, so he is either back on the drink, gone to work, or feeling sorry for himself...............thank you for everything take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:37 AM
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Been there, done that...
I married someone who seemed really great at the time. Didn't notice the warning lights. Didn't want to. I was in love. After a year of eye opening chaos, he held a knife to my throat just because he could. I locked him out, he got back in. Finally, I managed to secretly find a job in another state, and while he was on another of his week or two long absences, I sold all the furniture in the house, hired a mover and left. I filed for divorce in another state after establishing residency. He was 'shocked' that a good 'christian' would do such a thing as file for divorce. I guess he thought that I was obligated to remain and take it like a good little punching bag. He was a master manipulator and almost made me just another statistic.
posted by
Curly-Jo
on July 30, 2004 at 8:37 AM
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tremacc
I don't want to burden them with my problems............thank you for your support and advice.........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:36 AM
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Moondawg
thank you so much for your advice and support...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:36 AM
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WHAMENATOR
I read your comment over three times...........and it makes perfect sense thank you for your wonderful words and support, you are so kind.................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:35 AM
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Meriamne
thank you for everything..............I love you all so much..............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:34 AM
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katray
thank you............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:33 AM
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Symphony,
I've just sent you an email. Keep yourself safe, okay? I'm very worried about you. You poor thing.
Meriamne
posted by
myrrhage_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:31 AM
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Original_Influence
indeed I do...............thank you...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:30 AM
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man-boy
thank you for all your comments and support, I am ok, thank you for everything...........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:29 AM
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Hannah_B
thank you for your support...........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:29 AM
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Ca88andra
thank you ..........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:28 AM
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SanitySlipping
thank you for your wonderful comment, you make me feel so special.........thank you for all your kind words and advice...........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:28 AM
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beginner301
thank you so much........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:27 AM
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scriber
thanks for your support
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:26 AM
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mariantonia
thanks I did A lot of thinking.................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:26 AM
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CherryDidi
thank you that is very sweet of you............I am ok..............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 30, 2004 at 8:25 AM
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I've been where you are now.
many of us have been there. It is a hard road we're asking you to take.
but we're saying it out of
100% LOVE and concideration for you and your CHILDREN
. There is a better life out there
go get it girl
posted by
jamryn
on July 30, 2004 at 7:50 AM
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I re-read your post sweet-heart...
and I see that he threatened you if you try to do what you think best to protect YOUR children. Get to a councellor or some other help today. You can do it. Sane people don't threaten those they love for protecting the most innocent. Our beautiful children. You are a beautiful woman-girlchild and it is probably hard to think about living without a man's support. But 100's of thousands have had to do it. You and your little ones deserve stability. I feel a great love for you sister. Please don't doubt your ability to protect your children.
posted by
man-boy
on July 30, 2004 at 7:12 AM
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Symphony, through your chorus I had heard the dissonance and I'm disturbed by it! The first slap is only the beginning and I think it time you truly consider your options before you become another statistic.
posted by
RICKYJFICO_PASSIONTHRU_U
on July 30, 2004 at 6:58 AM
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Hey symphony...just checking in...
Hope you're ok today...and don't take his crap for one second more! YOU ARE A WINNER, and you deserve to be treated as such! Stay tough honey! Love, Gina
posted by
Gheeghee
on July 30, 2004 at 6:39 AM
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Good Morning Symphony - just noticed these alarming signs+helpful advice
Hpw are you, u poor thing! Bloggers have advised you well - you gotta do something, not just take the abuse or make EXCUSES FOR THE ABUSER! Get help- call a helpline or support group if u r ready to believe the apologies that may come. God be with you!
posted by
Budd-Himoschris
on July 30, 2004 at 6:37 AM
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Symphony - Please tell me you called the cops!? It might just bethe wake up
call he needs! Hang in there and if you need to vent, talk, whatever... you know where to find us.
posted by
Jay9
on July 30, 2004 at 2:26 AM
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Everything that everyone has written so far is true to heart.
The only thing that I will add is that your family loves you Maxine, your sister, cousins, mother, let them know what's going on!!!
posted by
Tremac
on July 29, 2004 at 8:45 PM
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Whamenator is absolutely
right, and it is time for you to get out. Once it starts then you will be paying for it the rest of your life if you try to stay in this relationship. Pack it up and go to where ever you can. Get away from this man and make him pay, in the form of support for his unforgivable actions.
posted by
Moondawg
on July 29, 2004 at 8:07 PM
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SYMPHONY, you are trapped in the cycle of abuse..........
It is documented and they all operate from the same handbook. He has annhilated your self esteem.
Perhaps he has put you in a position where you are reliant upon him for financial support.
You no longer believe in yourself, and though you are a beautiful woman, you probably believe his lies that you are lucky to have him and that no one else would want you.
He is going to come back as sweet as pie, and make you remember why you love him, but those honeymoon periods are going to get shorter and shorter, and the violence is going to get more and more intense.
My Dear, you are a Lovely Woman!
The average woman flees to a crummy shelter at least 5 times before she tries to leave a relationship. I spoke with one young battered woman who told me, "This time I didn't even do anything to deserve it!"
You are an abused woman, no matter if the abuse is alcohol-fueled or not. You need to find the strength and the support to get out. The Cycle of Abuse is an escalating disease!!!!!!!!!! It will only get progressively worse. YOU NEED TO EXTRICATE YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We can support you here on Blogit, but you need some concrete support, and maybe some counseling. You are worth so much more than that, Woman!!!!!!!!
Luv,
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on July 29, 2004 at 7:49 PM
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My heart goes out to you
Dear Symphony, how terrible for you and your children. My thoughts and prayers sent. Please take care.
posted by
Katray2
on July 29, 2004 at 7:38 PM
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Symphony,
You know what you need to do...and I know you have the strength. Take care of your little ones and yourself.
posted by
Original_Influence
on July 29, 2004 at 6:48 PM
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Hi again Symphony. I just read what Tapsel-T wrote. That is the best advice
I can think of. However you do it, get free. Once this pattern starts it is hard to stop. I don't know what we can offer besides our prayers and emotional support but I thought England would have some system set up to help battered wives.
posted by
man-boy
on July 29, 2004 at 5:55 PM
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Hi Symphony. No hitting! Mental abuse is bad enough...
but physical abuse should be an absolute no-no. I hope you called the police so there is a record of this in some official record. Nobody deserves to be hit. We don't even spank our kids any more. That is wrong too at least in my eyes.
You say he will be sorry tomorrow. But what about next time he comes home drunk and thinks you need a punch or a boot down the stairs? Get help now!!!!!!!!!! Please!!!!!
posted by
man-boy
on July 29, 2004 at 5:49 PM
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Symphony--
No one deserves to be hit. Please do what you have to in order to keep yourself and your children safe.
posted by
Hannah_B
on July 29, 2004 at 5:20 PM
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Symphony, my thoughts are with you. Take care.
posted by
Ca88andra
on July 29, 2004 at 4:14 PM
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Though miles apart and never officially introduced - We're all here for you.
Take care of yourself, and take care of your children. Do not let your son grow up to be this way. That is if you can help guide him in the right direction. Try not to feel guilty or bad about calling the police. And you really should think about whether to tell them that he hit you. It would work to your advantage if that were on record in the future. He is responsible for his actions drunk or sober. He needs to re-learn that. From what you've said, it seems that he knew these things in a different time. It's time that he remembered afew things about that. Good luck dear.
P.S. God and I had our little talk and I hoping he got the message to watch over you. I'm sure knows I'm serious, because I'm not a religious man in any Way, Shape or Form.
posted by
SanitySlipping
on July 29, 2004 at 3:40 PM
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You have heard what there is to say..............
You are in my thoughts and I wish you well. Take care of yourself and those children and stay strong.
posted by
beginner301
on July 29, 2004 at 3:23 PM
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Hi Symp--this is a sad state of affairs; love Scriber
posted by
scriber
on July 29, 2004 at 3:19 PM
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Yes, think. Write again when there are further developments.
posted by
mariantonia
on July 29, 2004 at 3:16 PM
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honey dear, you do not deserve think, and your sweet daughter neither, we'll support you, if you want you could come to stay here for a holiday with your daughter (i know im crazy, but i really want the best for you, sweet symphony, i hope the best for you
and is there any way to get your antidepressants or shall i send you my pills :)
oh gosh, we all care,i dont wan to ssee youu suffer
all my hugz x
posted by
hugz_n_kisses
on July 29, 2004 at 3:01 PM
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thank you so much everyone for your support and kindness
I am going to love and leave you now, I am not good company right now, and I dont want to write any posts right now, tomorrow I will write about what happened and so on......but for now I want to go and think.
thank you so much for everything.................I love you all....................I am ok...................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:55 PM
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David1Spirit
I know..............thank you so much...........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:36 PM
| link to this | reply
tbgroucho
thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:35 PM
| link to this | reply
SKY5
thank you so much for everything..............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:35 PM
| link to this | reply
Tapsel-T
you are so right, you really are, I am so scared but I know that we need to break up, he is going through some shit, that I can not help him, it has come to the end, I dont know what else to do, I really need to think......thank you so much for everything take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:34 PM
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SanitySlipping
thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I have run out of options, the last option is break up, and I think I am going for it..............with all your support I can do it right?..........hope so..........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:32 PM
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SpitFire70
thank you so much for your advice and support.............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:30 PM
| link to this | reply
RachelAnna
I dont want to bother my family, I dont want to be a burden on them. yes the police have took him, I did not tell them about him hitting me, they took him away for kicking my door in, they said he needs to sober up......thank you for everything, I doubt if I sleep...............but I am ok....I got to be for my kids........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:29 PM
| link to this | reply
docjohnsen
I had to call the police because I locked the door all up when he left, and he came back kicking the door in, the police have took him away and I feel terrible.......thank you for your support......take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:26 PM
| link to this | reply
I hope you are able to think tonight
and able to clear your head and bit and make some decisions for the good of your whole family. Did the police come get him then? Do you have any family or friends around that can help you?
posted by
RachelAnna
on July 29, 2004 at 2:25 PM
| link to this | reply
Melodystar
my previous relationship was an abusive one ...all my life I have been knocked about, but my husband was different he was my hero, he is not the man I married, he has changed and I can not live like this anymore...thank you for your support take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:24 PM
| link to this | reply
Ariala
you are all so kind to me, I really love you all so much, thank you for everything...........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:22 PM
| link to this | reply
RachelAnna
I know how right you are I had a very painful past and remember everything...............thanks again.....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:21 PM
| link to this | reply
InherentRights
I really do want to leave him for good, I really do but something holds me back, thank you for all your support take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:20 PM
| link to this | reply
RachelAnna
thank you for your wonderful advice, I never see what you wrote because I wrote that post very quickly and had to go again, I had to phone the police in the end, and I feel awful for doing so, I know it is the right thing to do............but I feel so hurt, thank you for your support...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:18 PM
| link to this | reply
wow.......... what a lot of comments
you are all so caring and supportive..................I better get answering you all, and tell you what has been happeneing since I wrote this post.........................I love you guys so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 29, 2004 at 2:17 PM
| link to this | reply
Symphony
Please read what Tapsel-T wrote, and take action. You have to do something about that sweetie! It cannot go on; for your sake or your daughter's!
posted by
David1Spirit
on July 29, 2004 at 2:15 PM
| link to this | reply
maxine
tg
posted by
tbgroucho
on July 29, 2004 at 1:46 PM
| link to this | reply
Symphony an angry man never change. It took me to learn fifteen years and I
am trying to get things together for me, so I know what you are going through. It's not easy, as early you can get out, that much better......My prayers for you. Plan a safe way to be out.
posted by
Star5_
on July 29, 2004 at 1:38 PM
| link to this | reply
Symphony, I know the pain. If I could help you please let me know.
I pray for your safety. If anything I could do, I will............
posted by
Star5_
on July 29, 2004 at 1:35 PM
| link to this | reply
SYMPHONY - Please Do Something Now
Spouse abuse is punishable by law. Wife beatings are often serious assaults. Once the pattern is established, it's likely to happen repeatedly, with increasing violence each time. Don't feel ashamed or guilty. It is not your fault. Even though you may be socially isolated and unable to support yourself and your children financially you must do something. It's often very difficult for a battered spouse to ask for help. But do it.
Help is available. Police are receiving enhanced training in domestic violence issues and, in many communities, domestic violence laws have been strengthened. Begin immediately. Contact a family counselor or mental health professional. If you are being attacked, call the police as soon as you can. Then leave the house and get medical help if needed. You are going to need help, perhaps counseling to help you feel more powerful and in control of your life. Don't wait. Your husband needs for you to do this. Hopefully it will bring him to his senses and he will admit to problems himself and seek help.
posted by
TAPS.
on July 29, 2004 at 1:31 PM
| link to this | reply
Dear GOD...
I am truly sorry. I wish that I wasn't as they say 'across the pond'. You're running out of options sweetheart. Either he gets help, or he loses all. I agree that you should call the police. I know it's hard, and I know it's up to you. But you have to do something. If your daughter was 10-15 years older, I could maybe in some alternate backwards f'ed up universe, understand that drunken comment. But a 5 year old?! I am pretty sure he said it just to hurt you, but what is his main issue? There is something seriously wrong with him right now and he needs to find out the hell it is and fix it.
It may just be time to call the cops, call some friends over (or maybe your cousin) - don't be alone right now, gather up a few bucks and contact a lawyer. Ultimately, it's up to you.
I wish you all the best and once again, I am truly sorry that this is going on. I don't pray often (God and I have a sort of understanding - Idon't bug him and doesn't bug me), but I'll say one for you.
posted by
SanitySlipping
on July 29, 2004 at 1:30 PM
| link to this | reply
I agree with RachelA...
You really need to call the police. At least he'll go to jail for the night and give you time to figure out your next move. You'll also have a documented arrest for abuse on file and that can help you with your case (if need be) in the future. Especially if you need to get a restraining order. Please, Symphony, don't allow this to go on one more day. The next thing that may happen is he goes after the kids. Take care of yourself and you let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.
posted by
SpitFire70
on July 29, 2004 at 1:16 PM
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I agree
with everyone here. No one can tell you what to do, but I would suggest calling the authorities. I got to see some violence as a child, and it does affect children greatly.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and yours.
posted by
docjohnsen
on July 29, 2004 at 1:01 PM
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I am sorry that your going thrpugh this. I have been where you are any times. I wont tell you what to do. I have done many things at different stages in my life. I have called the police and I have left .I have been hit hard not once either. I will tell you is that I am afraid of if he will do it once he might do it again. You are so beautiful inside and out, please try not let anyone do those kind of things to you. You might end up hating yourself for staying . Take care of you and your childrdren. I know easier said than done. People told me many times to leave or call the police, I did what I had to when I felt the time was right. I'll be here if you want to talk.
posted by
Melodystar
on July 29, 2004 at 12:40 PM
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Symphony, my heart goes out to you. Please get help, if you don't do it
for yourself and for your husband, do it for your kids. They shouldn't have to grow up seeing their mom emotionally torn and physically hurt. Please, you guys deserve better than this.
posted by
Ariala
on July 29, 2004 at 12:35 PM
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Also remember...
that every time you fight in front of your children of if they sense tension between their parents you change who they are and who they are going to be. That is incentive enough to make us all careful about the situations we get in, and even more importantly, the ones we stay in. You all deserve more from life, your husband included.
posted by
RachelAnna
on July 29, 2004 at 12:34 PM
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I agree with Rachel, Symphony
His behavior is destructive to himself, to you, and to your children. You aren't helping anyone by staying in a situation like that, and what you have now is not a safe household. Even if he hasn't hit you before, alcoholism is often an escalating problem. If you leave him it may be the wake up call he needs to sober up, or face losing his family.
Like Rachel, I won't pass judgement if you don't. But you should think about it before you decide, and not let fear of him cloud your decision.
posted by
InherentRights
on July 29, 2004 at 12:31 PM
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I normally don't offer specific advice...
But I think you should call the cops. He'll make you pay? Make him pay. You don't need to take this crap, seriously. It's not like he treats you like crap once in a blue moon, it seems constant. You deserve better, and so do your children. Call the cops. Do something. Show him you are unwilling to be treated like this.
I won't pass judgement if you don't call the cops or leave, but I think you seriously need to contemplate this. Remember, we teach people how to treat us. Teach him to treat you with respect by respecting yourself.
posted by
RachelAnna
on July 29, 2004 at 12:25 PM
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