Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
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- Go to I HAVE GOT A SECRET PLAN......Shh...... DON'T TELL ANYBODY!................
harveyg736
yes you are right, in other circumstances that is what I would do, just go a head and risk it.............but this is a bit different, because I cant stop thinking about the things I should not worry about, I feel like I am waiting for another excuse which is bad I know......................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 8:26 AM
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Sometimes . . .
when I'm full of doubt about what will happen when I do something -- but I'm sure that what I want to do is a good thing -- I just stop thinking about it and just DO IT! Overcoming inertia is always MORE than half the battle.
posted by
HarveyG
on July 26, 2004 at 8:14 AM
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tremacc
you are very right that is very true. I would love to stay with my cousin but she lives to near to the area that I have to stay away from, I would stay at my sisters but obviously it would'nt be fair on her. I don't know I will think of something, because I really do want to go, I just need that click inside me to get me going...........if you know what i mean....................thank you for everything..................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:22 AM
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VIVA_LA_KATZE
thank you for sharing.................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:20 AM
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Cadence
thank you so much for reading and commenting..............and for your support it means a lot...........thanks take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:19 AM
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Moondawg
thank you very much, for the suggestion.............I will talk to him and tell him how I feel but I am sure he already knows............thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:18 AM
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tbgroucho
thank you...........I will look around for it...............maybe interesting..............thank you for everything.........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:17 AM
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SpitFire70
thank you very much, that is great advice, I like that idea, but I am not sure if we are past that stage of talking reasonble, I think I should go, because I feel very bitter towards him, and I am in need of a break too..........thank you so much for everything..............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:16 AM
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Melodystar
thank you very much, I have got to try or I will never know...............thank you for sharing............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:14 AM
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Ca88andra
thats a great "saying" I will keep that in mind....................thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:14 AM
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mariantonia
yes it would be easier to tell him to go, but I know he wont go, least if I go, it will all be on my terms...........thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 26, 2004 at 7:13 AM
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Symphony, if I remember correctly, you and your mother have had some difficulties in the past. Maybe that is why you have reservations about it. Maybe you could stay with your wonderful cousin, the one who took you out the other night...
posted by
Tremac
on July 25, 2004 at 10:51 PM
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The good memories always over power what is now
It took me a long time to leave too hoping that it could be like it used to be Cheers VIVA
posted by
VIVA_LA_KATZE
on July 25, 2004 at 10:16 PM
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I know how tough it is to leave someone...I have never been married, and I am sure that it is much more difficult to leave someone with whom you have spent so much of your life, but I am sure you will get through it. Just remember, do what is best for yourself.
posted by
Cadence
on July 25, 2004 at 8:42 PM
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It's not a good sounding situation
and time apart may be the answer. If you decide to though, might I suggest that you sit down with your husband and tell him that you feel like maybe a week or so apart might give both of you a chance to think about things. Tell him that afterward you want to sit down and talk and see if things can be worked out. Wishing you the best.
posted by
Moondawg
on July 25, 2004 at 8:39 PM
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not an easy decision to leave
maybe you need some time away. Problem is that he's not articulating his feelings. You may or may not for literary thought read some of the Dubliners stories by James Joyce, "Eveline" is most interesting.
take care of yourself and those children, honey. 
tg
posted by
tbgroucho
on July 25, 2004 at 7:33 PM
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Symphony,
I think maybe the two of you need to sit down and write the pro's and con's of your marriage as of now. Don't finger point, just jot down a few things that you appreciate and don't appreciate. Make sure to word it like, "It makes me feel ______ when you say or do ___" But not, "You always do
this or that." Then, each of you reads their list. When one of you reads, the other can't talk or respond until the other is finished. (Jot down notes while the other speaks if you have to so you don't forget what you want to say) but it's really important to allow each other their fair time to speak. Then, the both of you go through the cons and try to comprimise how to change it and go through the pro's and try to work on enhancing them. If you find it's too hard to do, go to a counselor to help you. If you feel some time apart is in need (sometimes it's a good thing to do) then do it, but don't "run away" from the problems. I'm keeping you in my thoughts!! Hang in there.
posted by
SpitFire70
on July 25, 2004 at 5:25 PM
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I have been there and done that. I elft for a week . When I came back thing s changed, but ater a while they return to themselves . I dont know what to tell you , but take care and I hope and pray you make the right decison. Take care.
posted by
Melodystar
on July 25, 2004 at 4:06 PM
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Symphony - good luck with whatever you choose. A saying comes to mind "If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it never was..."
posted by
Ca88andra
on July 25, 2004 at 3:58 PM
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That may be an idea to try. Not your mum's place. May bring future problems. 1 week may be sufficient. Its better to throw him out for a week rather than you be the one out. Very inconvenient for you with lots of baby needs and other stuff to attend to.
posted by
mariantonia
on July 25, 2004 at 3:43 PM
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beginner301
thank you so much, thats ok for staying silent, but I am so happy you decided to comment.............its great to hear from a mans point of veiw, and you seem like you know what your talking about........I am trying my best, to do what I can, but I think the time has come for me to take a break, but taking that plunge scares me, I am sure it will happen sooner rather than later, and I also hope it benefits us both. thank you so much for reading and commenting and offereing your support..............it means a great deal.........thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 2:19 PM
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I've been reading and staying silent..........
I don’t know if that’s worse than giving unwanted advice. I read your blog’s and some of your comments and am encouraged in my own writing. From a man perspective I can say that we seldom see our own faults and are more than ready to point out the faults in others weather they are made up or not. This is especially true when we are trying to hide from our own problems. To force a man to face himself an outside influence such as a wife or friend has to implement “Tuff Love”
I can understand that your heart and the love you feel for the man you married may be preventing from taking that first step. I only hope that that step is beneficial to both of you, but; I believe that it will help you to find happiness in the long run.
Keep venting and I’ll keep reading. I wish you all the happiness in the world and good luck
Beginner301 (i.e. B.J. Cone, TX)
posted by
beginner301
on July 25, 2004 at 2:15 PM
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Ricky_J_Fico
Hmm............. is that a good thing or bad?
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 1:57 PM
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What is stopping you is - your heart!!!!
posted by
RICKYJFICO_PASSIONTHRU_U
on July 25, 2004 at 1:53 PM
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so is anyone actually listening to me
no, well , I will have to find my own reads..............so it seems.....................lol
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 1:50 PM
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spell check
"not"..........was the word I meant!
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 1:39 PM
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can someone please send me a link to something i have no read yet
I have been here ages and I am sure there must be more reads out there, somewhere...........?
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 1:37 PM
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Kelli
thank you very much, I know I have to start putting my foot down...................thank you for your support ...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 1:12 PM
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The only thing that can help your hubby is your hubby.
I don't like to read what you're going through, I know it's hard.....but maybe if you stopped "telling" him what you are going to do, and started "doing" it, then that might help? I don't know, I'm not a professional by any means, but I have learned that the more you try to change someone, the more they stay the same. Maybe it's only MY hubby that increases anything I ask him to decrease, who knows? I DO wish you the best of luck, and will keep you in my prayers.
posted by
Kelli
on July 25, 2004 at 1:04 PM
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Gheeghee
thank you so much for your understanding..................you really are great..................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 12:34 PM
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not a thing is wrong with you....
Being such a caring person is never a fault. It's why he is the way he is...he is the one that needs you more. He needs your compassion and love so he doesn't feel like a total bastard. He has issues, and it's ok to care. Just care about yourself as much~you will take that plunge when you are ready, and when you do, don't be afraid!
posted by
Gheeghee
on July 25, 2004 at 12:32 PM
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sassyass_64
you are right................the saying goes.............."absence makes the heart grow fonder"
well done to you!
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 12:00 PM
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I have been through it myself
I lost a lot of weight, and I make sure that I always look my best. He is more attentive then he has ever been. When you are married forever, these things are bound to happen once in awhile. We just have to give them a reality check.
posted by
Sherri_G
on July 25, 2004 at 11:57 AM
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Gheeghee
thank you so much........for your support and encouragment................it is so easy to think and say that I am going to do it........but so hard to actually take that plunge, my problem is I care to much, I am worrying over silly things that should not be worried about, it should not be my problem.
I think like I am waiting for another excuse.......................argh what is wrong with me........dam it.......
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 11:55 AM
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Sister, you are on the edge of the cliff....don't be afraid to jump!!!!
This is a line from Amy Tan, but it's appropriate (and it's a paraphrase) "It doesn't matter if you lose him....It is YOU that will be found."
Have courage! You got us all pulling for you! Love, Gina
posted by
Gheeghee
on July 25, 2004 at 11:52 AM
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sassyass_64
that sounds great......thanks for the advice/tips...............I must do it.....I am just finding my courage.............thank you so much...........take care...............have a nice day
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 11:52 AM
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What is stopping you
Is precisely a fear of the unknown. You do need to do this. It will give you clarity, and its good for the both of you. While you are away, get a total make over. Lighten your hair, and wear something sexy. I have noticed that a jealous spouse is more attentive then ever. Good luck.
posted by
Sherri_G
on July 25, 2004 at 11:48 AM
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CherryDidi
thank you very much....................it does.................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 11:44 AM
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spending time with your kids sounds great
posted by
hugz_n_kisses
on July 25, 2004 at 11:36 AM
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scriber
yes you are right................I should probably think of somewhere else to go..................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 10:06 AM
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EccentricShock
yeah I think your right.....................how do I do it?...............argh..................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 10:05 AM
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Original_Influence
thats how I want it to be, but he is such a hard person to reason with..............especially if drunk..........thank you for the advice...............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 10:04 AM
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man-boy
yes I am scared how he would react, if it would make it worse, if maybe he would not want me back..........thank you for your support and your advice..............take care I wish you all the best
posted by
_Symphony_
on July 25, 2004 at 10:04 AM
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Hi Symp--It's hard to change, even if it may be for the better; one seeks
to retain the familiar.
And you may remember bad times at your mother's and that prevents you from making a move in that direction. love scriber
posted by
scriber
on July 25, 2004 at 9:40 AM
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Hi Symphony
I like Original Influence's advice too. I hope he doesn't feel threatened.
Besides I'm sure your Mum Would like to spend some time with her grand-children.
posted by
man-boy
on July 25, 2004 at 9:27 AM
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symphony
I like OI 's advice on saying it's a vacation ... are you not packing because youre afraid of the other alternative happening?
posted by
EccentricShock
on July 25, 2004 at 9:13 AM
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Symphony,
Maybe if you put it that it will be like a little vacation for the kids and company for your mom, then he won't feel threatened and you won't feel badly. Then he will miss you when you are gone and be glad when you are back!
posted by
Original_Influence
on July 25, 2004 at 9:11 AM
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Is the problem...
talking to your husband about this? I wish I could send positive energy around the world to you. Do you worry that he might say something his ego won't let him take back in his present state? Good Luck Symphony you know how much your friends out here love you. If we were physical neighbors with these kinds of connections, what a wonderful world this would be.
posted by
man-boy
on July 25, 2004 at 9:03 AM
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