Michaeloops

Michaeloop No. 241 Vancouver 2010 gold medalist in the men’s skeleton, Canadian Jon Montgomery, has confessed to the world, during an appearance on Oprah, that he has a huge crush on Paris Hilton. “Dear Paris, come up the mountain and canoodle with me and I’ll let you play with my medal,” he said,... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 237 TV news reader Phil Barnes has changed his name to Phil Goldfish. After his famous on air breakdown, where he started clapping his hands and singing REO Speedwagon songs, he went into therapy, and that prompted him to change his last name. His psychiatrist, Dr Ray Gould, uses the... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 233 The alpine resort town of Flute is notable for there being twice as many restaurants than houses. It is also notable for being Albert Einstein’s resort of choice. He stayed there in 1938 with his consort, Olive Jensen, and it was there he developed his theory of Absolute Chance.... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 229 Deborah, my hairdresser, has been at me for over a year to let her colour my hair white, a la Billy Idol in the 1980s. Last Wednesday, I finally gave in. The next day I was arrested. What both Deborah and I had overlooked was that my new coiffure made me look uncannily like Roy... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 225 TV chef Heinz “the noodle” Benn spends much of his spare time learning languages. It’s not Swahili or Canadian, as you might have expected – no, Heinz is a dedicated student of the languages of trees. Their conversations with the wind and each other are very often poignant and... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 221 My friend Lorraine had a dinner party recently, to celebrate her dad’s birthday. Other than her dad, her guests were both sets of her grandparents – Ernest and Betty, and Walter and Joyce – the Apostle Peter, and Adolf Hitler. Before the entrée, Adolf held them all spellbound... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 217 Rubbish bin Terry is the neighborhood vagrant. He has three degrees, and a doctorate, but he chooses to live outside the economic system as much as is humanly possible. He goes from house to house, offering to perform a medley of Neil Young numbers on his tin whistle in return for... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 213 My partner Kym and I went to a Japanese restaurant last night, with a few friends. I was in a mood to show off, so despite everyone else making conservative menu choices, I went for the raw salmon and mayonnaise entrée, and the teriyaki eel as a main. Two hours later I stumbled... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 209 I have come up with a remedy for bags under the eyes, and much more. I honestly believe I can revolutionize women’s cosmetic care with this product, and make a squillion dollars while I’m at it. Yes, I’m proud to announce the cold porridge line. There’s a cold porridge facial... Sign in to see full entry.

Michaeloop No. 205 I will now share my legendary baked bean pudding recipe. One tin of baked beans, three tablespoons of custard powder, two cups of low fat milk, half a cup of raisins, a teaspoon of cumin, a tub of low fat strawberry yoghurt, and three cloves of garlic. Combine ingredients, stir... Sign in to see full entry.