Go to Life in the fast lane--where's the on ramp?
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- Go to Writer's Notebook: About the "honeymoon" & etc.
show not tell is something we talk alot about in my writer's group a lot.....
posted by
Annicita
on February 25, 2012 at 9:27 PM
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Re: Re: Re: Can't believe Herb acted like a perfect jerk and....
No worries, Adnohr... I get so much great feedback from you, and from the others too, and it's very helpful. I depend on your questions and observations to keep my story on track. Thanks again!!!
posted by
Pat_B
on February 25, 2012 at 2:35 PM
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Re: Re: Can't believe Herb acted like a perfect jerk and....
Oops!
My mistake, Pat. Maybe because I know the story continues with the baby, but no so George, I did get confused reading your response to CC, or maybve it was his question that confused me...or maybe it was just too darned early in the morning for me to be reading!
posted by
adnohr
on February 25, 2012 at 1:50 PM
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your mind and your ability to write it down are superb. I need to
discipline myself more, I cannot expect my readers to know my mind. You are a wonderful teacher.
posted by
Kabu
on February 25, 2012 at 12:03 PM
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PatB
You did a great job of that to the point I could identify with George with the 'not being loved' thought.
posted by
WileyJohn
on February 25, 2012 at 10:52 AM
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Re: Can't believe Herb acted like a perfect jerk and....
Sorry, I guess the names are too ordinary. Herb was the infant in question. George, his father, was the one who went ballistic and handed over his son to Prudence, then was killed in the war.
posted by
Pat_B
on February 25, 2012 at 10:10 AM
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And you do a terrific job of showing us! I can't believe Herb acted like a perfect jerk, then was rewarded with a great life. What happened to time wounds all heels???
posted by
adnohr
on February 25, 2012 at 9:09 AM
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Re: can't help wondering how Herby turned out...
C C, since you asked, Herb went on to be a high school basketball star known as "Stretch" Jensen, became a CPA, married a lovely girl who might otherwise have been a musical theater star and they had six children.
posted by
Pat_B
on February 25, 2012 at 8:36 AM
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I read the previous post and this one together. Very interesting how you explain things as you go along.
posted by
TAPS.
on February 25, 2012 at 7:33 AM
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WELL I guess one does not have to be very efficient at some things to be called a great lover. Nature gives one a bang for one's buck.Can't help wondering how Herby turned out, but I expect you will find that .
posted by
C_C_T
on February 25, 2012 at 7:09 AM
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