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Hey by the windowsill - have you recovered yet from lack of sleep?
posted by
Cheerygirl
on January 19, 2011 at 6:22 AM
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elinjo
... i just realised, after saying all that i had to say, i didn't say the most important thing
. thankyou so much for your comment.
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 30, 2009 at 4:11 AM
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mysteria
the one below is to you :)
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 30, 2009 at 4:08 AM
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Re:
lol. things are getting thrown a me relentlessly. just finding minutes here and there to grab a read now and again is proving elusive
. but yes, i need to do some writing soon too. will keep you posted - thankyou :)
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 30, 2009 at 3:46 AM
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Re: Bythe
hey naut! that's rather nice of you... let me know what you think
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 30, 2009 at 3:43 AM
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Re:
absolutely right adnohr. no one came into parenting as an expert. we have all learned along the way- and we all should give that benefit of doubt to those who might be struggling. i see we are on the same page. thank you
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 30, 2009 at 3:39 AM
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hello i lQQk forward to more
posted by
mysteria
on August 29, 2009 at 9:09 PM
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Bythe
I read this a couple of days ago, and was hugely impressed. I didn't have time for the kind of comment it deserves, but I want you to know I read it and am thinking about it...
posted by
Nautikos
on August 29, 2009 at 7:33 PM
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It's for sure none of us were born knowing how to a good parent, so we learn as we go along. This is a very thought provoking post; the way we live our lives has changed, so parenting has to change somewhat too. However, I also agree that one thing remains the same; spending quality time with our children is the most important thing in parenting.
posted by
adnohr
on August 29, 2009 at 3:01 AM
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Re:
very well said, shobana. our symbols have indeed changed and our children have their own ideas. and let's not even go into the lists and lists of reasons that need to be provided for the smallest things
thanks very much shobana
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 24, 2009 at 1:13 AM
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Re:
Thankyou Calia
Bangalore is in India -it is known as the silicon valley of the east- the IT hub of Asia. now i'm thinking, the indian tourism ministry should hand me a retainer for that
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 24, 2009 at 1:07 AM
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Bythewindowsill - Children these days I feel tend to see love shown in a different light. We try to inculcate bonding and emotional well being as part of what is an important aspect of their growing up, like to always be there for them but all those gizmos provided mainly due to peer pressure validates our love much more to them in their reasoning. With our parents no meant no - no questions asked. These days no goes with a whole lot of reasons attached to it. I really enjoyed what you wrote and can relate to it many times over.
posted by
shobana
on August 24, 2009 at 1:06 AM
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Where is Bangalore? Very interesting and thought-provoking writing.
posted by
calia14
on August 23, 2009 at 12:37 PM
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Re: Really interesting and thoughtful post
malcom, what your family means to you is for all here at blogit to see
. though we do all we can, it still frightens me to think i might not be doing enough... ?!?
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 12:14 PM
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Really interesting and thoughtful post
At the outset of our becoming parents, my biggest fear was that I'd look back on their childhoods and realise I had missed them - hadn't been there for them. This thought still haunts me and I do my best to be there whenever I can, as I'm sure you do too.
posted by
malcolm
on August 23, 2009 at 12:04 PM
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Re: bythewindowsill
and the story continues... justi, thanks so much
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 8:17 AM
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Re:
well pointed, TAPS. It is the difference that brings in the disputes, right? but like you say, they've always been there. i wish more people saw it like that. thanks so much
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 8:14 AM
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Re: I thought I did a great job parenting my boys; a single parent through
i have mistakenly deleted my response to you kabu
. i am so sorry to know about your son. and from the vibrant person i know here on blogit, this did come as a surprise. but i firmly believe that you can only do so much. you've done your best to make sure that your boys will be ok in this world- you've already been a great parent from my point of view. having done your best there (mistakes are what make us human, we cannot fight them- they are also part of destiny) now look at wiley and you- you also had this in store.destiny has her ways - either to hurt or make up
. i wish you all the best kabu.
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 8:12 AM
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Re:
sammie, oh sammie. that's so you.
i hope i can do the same with mine. thanks for being who u r
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 7:41 AM
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Re:
fair point, soul_ but you also say that autonomy comes from within - there's bound to be some substance when that happens. you also mention 'real strength' - that can't be shallow. and what that leads to can't be shallow either. my view
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 7:37 AM
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Re: Re:
Hi! Thanks very much for the note! My son works with yahoo.com, but is planning to leave Bangalore around January. I will certainly drop you a line when I'm there, maybe October---will be great to meet up! Looking forward to your next post! Nita.
posted by
Nita09
on August 23, 2009 at 5:05 AM
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Re:
hi snow
. valid point- many parents underestimate the importance and value of a few good minutes with their children. like in my piece, a new toy can be bought many times over- time lost, is time lost. thankyou - i've left you a note on yours
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 4:44 AM
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Re: Re: In time.Out of place.
quality time, BC-A. that's what it is all about, isn't it? it is not about giving up personal aspirations or annuling your own life. i know parents who work 6 hr dys in highlytense corporate environments and towards very stauch career graphs. the time they spend with their children is little, but so fabulous. there are some delightfully healthy families in that bracket too. education such as you describe, they have in plenty- they also have a ridiculous number of gizmos
. who's to tell...
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 4:41 AM
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Re: In time.Out of place.
ah, elino. but this is the image i sought to explain in this piece. yes we do have a lot less time with our children and many of us had rather spend even that elsewhere. but there are reasons for this and as a society we need to look into it. i have given up my full time profession so as to devote my time and energy to my child- i was quite clear of this choice even at college- i was fortunate to be able to follow my plan. but others come from less secure childhoods and more carreer oriented preferences. being away from their situation, can we really judge? for the sake of children involved, if again not the happiness of parents themselves, it is the society and its bechmarks that need to relax. because no parent, however uninvolved, is 'proud, of neglecting their child.
posted by
bythewindowsill
on August 23, 2009 at 4:34 AM
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bythewindowsill
This is an excellent post. I cannot say for sure if I can make a statement as to how I feel exactly on this. I am now a grandmother and I can't see that any generation has been the perfect one. I think life is to be a struggle between parent and child to some degree. How will the child learn to be self sufficient, caring and learn to analyze his individual stumbling blocks which are his growth areas if he is not made to be responsible for his mistakes? I raised three, have three grandchildren and still haven't a clue what is the right way and I worked hard at it.
posted by
Justi
on August 22, 2009 at 11:13 PM
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I enjoyed reading your post. It is amazing what differences there are in the raising of children today and just the 40 or so years ago when mine were the age of yours. I don't think of it as being easier then or easier now--just different.
posted by
TAPS.
on August 22, 2009 at 9:02 PM
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I thought I did a great job parenting my boys; a single parent through
most of their teen years. Time has proven I made afew big mistakes I've lostone completely and the other loves me but with reserve.
posted by
Kabu
on August 22, 2009 at 8:03 PM
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I loved the quote! While raising my children I just taught them to be kind, honest, caring and to shun prejudice of all kinds! sam
posted by
sam444
on August 22, 2009 at 3:49 PM
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Thank you for the visit and comment. This analysis is interesting. I frankly never got much to help me from parents. I got less from this evil society. Real strength and functional literacy/autonomy comes from within. Parents can and do give all they have to their children.The child will take this, along with the societal programming, and live shallow lives. My views!
posted by
Soul_Builder101
on August 22, 2009 at 9:52 AM
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Hi again! I just saw your comment on my post; thanks very much! Your post is so relevant--parents don't realize that the greatest gift they can give their children is time. Hope to read you again soon!
posted by
Nita09
on August 22, 2009 at 9:39 AM
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Excellent and thought provoking; it's lovely to see you back! I'm just back from visiting my son in Bangalore; maybe we could meet up sometime! All the best. Nita.
posted by
Nita09
on August 22, 2009 at 9:31 AM
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Re: In time.Out of place.
We had gizmos too. Certainly quality time with your children’s should top a parent’s list of priorities. The toys don’t help them develop personally and educationally unless the stamp is the connection to the parent. By the way I liked when my father took a little hike with me to the raspberry patch in a wooded area of an abandoned dairy farmland. That’s education! BC-A, Bill*s Cyberspace Hotlink
posted by
BC-A
on August 22, 2009 at 6:32 AM
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In time.Out of place.
You have put your finger on a very serious modern problem. Parents and other carers are far too busy with a 1001 goals to spend quality time with the younger generation. They often choose to take them on outings when really time would be better spent playing with the children at home. Expensive electronic toys do not compensate for lack of adult attention.
posted by
elinjo
on August 22, 2009 at 5:32 AM
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