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- Go to Goin' A-Courtin' . . . . Two Weeks to Mourn is Enought, Right?
We may not understand why our parents do what they do at any age!
But once we are adults, do our parent owe us control or even influence over their personal decisions? If there is a failure of communication or understanding in a family, it began long before the death of one parent. Huge changes are the times that reveal home truths and mistaken assumptions. Discovering these and coping with them are part of the grieving process for a bereaved family.
posted by
Ciel
on July 14, 2008 at 5:00 PM
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Sam -- you said it! Spot on.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 14, 2008 at 4:28 PM
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Re: JanesOpinion
Justi, interestingly enough, my mom had a similar situation with a friend of hers -- similar to the one you relate. The difference here with her friend and yours is that at least the husband was thoughtful enough to discuss w/ you in advance and to acknowledge your concerns and grief. That's huge! Jeff's dad's perspective was "you will accept my wife as your new mother and grandmother." No ifs, ands or buts. He is a retired VP of a massive world wide conglomerate, accustomed to having his own way!!!
Thanks for your comments!
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 14, 2008 at 4:27 PM
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Nautikos, you have a very valid point!
I am of the opinion that it's healthy to grieve for a period of time, but of course what works for me doesn't necessarily mean it's best for others. And yes, he has less time in life left to enjoy so why not? Yes, why not. In his case, though, I do fear the buyer's remorse. The new woman simply cannot hold a candle to the old, although I am a wee bit biased.
Thanks, as always, for your comments!!
posted by
JanesOpinion
on July 14, 2008 at 4:24 PM
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Jane
Okay, I realize that I am probably not on the side of the Angels here, (as if I believed in Angels, lol) but I take the position that relatives of all stripes, brothers and sisters, son and daughters, nieces and nephews and assorted in-laws should just let old folks lead their lives as as these old folks see fit, including 'rushing' into 'foolish' marriages. Young folks do it all the time, why shouldn't they? With one difference: they have less time left! And often, especially if the old folks have money, the outrage is fueled by a hidden agenda...
posted by
Nautikos
on July 14, 2008 at 5:13 AM
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That is so unfortunate for the sons and the father! sam
posted by
sam444
on July 13, 2008 at 8:10 AM
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JanesOpinion
I am sorry. I had a very good friend who died of cancer 10 to 12 years ago. I had known her and her husband for years. A good marriage. I expected he would grieve for at least a normal time, actually never marry again. He had her things packaged up and out the next day, literally! He too had deep pockets, but this new woman apparently did too. He called me one day to tell me he was getting married I was shocked it was little more than a year. I asked him why he was telling me. This was his take on that subject. He told me he knew I loved his wife and he wanted me to know he did too. He knew the ....... would hit the fan but his reasoning was after having had a good marriage for so long he was left as only a half person. He said more than anything he needed a person to have coffee with, travel with, talk with. I felt his sincerity, although I am still uncomfortable around them and it has been a few years. She had her own money and is near his age. I knew him and somehow he made sense to me. Just seeing the children and grandchildren on the weekends was nor nearly enough.
posted by
Justi
on July 13, 2008 at 1:59 AM
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