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Re: Oh painting the butterflies sounds lovely

azur, dear, Thirteen year old boys need time alone with each parent, outside the home to interact.

They never speak at home and rarely speak when two parents are present. So, one on one and then having something thtere to speak about works best, an exhibit, a lecture, a concert, movie, etc....

Has your husband taught your son what he knows of stone, or anything manly in his repertoire, as yet?? Men need to spend that "men in the men huts time" with the boys, making something together or taking something apart. Dunno....manly things.

It all comes down to time, not much else. Time alone with each child as they age....and never stop torturing them with the "family" things that they no longer want to attend. It is good for their character and they will grow away from everyone soon enough....

Dad used to take me to the newspaper with him, to the Press Club where the men smoked and drank and talked aobut the news, politics, the courtoom that he was covering, etc.

Mom took me to her college classes with her periodically. It was way over my head, but not. You understand. She took me to her school classroom when she taught on days that I was not in school, etc.

And children need mentors, another adult man or woman who admires and genuinely likes your child and who does dumb and unimportant things with them, non-judgementally and uncompetitively, as parents cannot.

My uncle's neighbor made him into a doctor by letting him hang out at his little country doctor's offices back in the early part of the 1920's.....

Making him join clubs, chess, cricket, singing, dancing, science, etc....expands his circle, too.

But, what do I know?

posted by benzinha on March 22, 2008 at 9:24 PM | link to this | reply

Oh painting the butterflies sounds lovely
   My daughter would love such a time. What I would be most interested to learn is how you would talk to a 13 year old boy who lives in his own world. He plays his games on the computer and has many friends so I never think of him as antisocial. But sometimes he could be more sociable with us

posted by Azur on March 22, 2008 at 9:16 AM | link to this | reply

I used to babysit grandchildren weekly, now even monthly is rare.

So, it was fun to be with children once again, if even for only a few hours. I did have to drive 45 minutes out to Vail, Arizona, to babysit, but, there

"Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough" to keep me away from them when they call.

AND, I could definitely use the kharma.

posted by benzinha on March 18, 2008 at 6:19 PM | link to this | reply

Your karma runneth over

posted by majroj on March 17, 2008 at 5:39 PM | link to this | reply

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