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Bel, I'm just now catching up...
wow, I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I hope you guys can work it out...You've been through so much together. My best to you both.
posted by
Ariala
on March 9, 2007 at 2:52 PM
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Bel, I am very sorry to hear that
it could be over what he has endured. I read a story today about the difficult struggles of military couples seperating and divorcing after tours in Iraq, my very best to you. Stay strong.
posted by
scoop
on March 9, 2007 at 11:24 AM
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Bel.......
I am in shock.....I am so sorry......Please stay in touch, you need a bunch of support to work your way through this....You got my shoulder and ear anytime you need it......
You have 
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on March 9, 2007 at 11:12 AM
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I know I don't have to tell you this...
But he's not the same man he was a few years ago before he deployed to Iraq. I have a friend, another Marine, who came back.. got divorced... and is on a massive downward spiral. He sat still for a moment and realized all he wanted to be was married and the man he was before he left, but he's a killer (his words) so that's all he can do. My husband has said that to me, too, that he feels like he's just a killer and he doesn't know what to do with that. The Army doesn't train men the same way, hence the whole "jarhead" reference, but there are three people in your relationship now... you, Carl, and the Soldier. I am no one to give advice since I am stumbling around with this, too, except that the only thing the boys who have come home have told me is that counseling (not through the military) helps. I'm only guessing, but there are things about my husband that I didn't know even applied to PTSD, or just dealing with all that he's seen and done... and not been able to process it. Plus, Carl may be feeling a loss of identity. Even reservists feel like after a time Iraq is their life because they are there so damn long. I hope you go to talk to someone, the two of you, and I'll keep you in my thoughts. You don't walk this road alone, many military wives walk with you. You are still that, you never really lose the title because the man never loses the soldier (or marine) in him. Try
www.helpstartshere.org.
posted by
Temple
on March 9, 2007 at 4:04 AM
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bel
I am so very sorry...I don't know what to say other then we are here for you! Love, Sally
posted by
Offy
on March 9, 2007 at 1:38 AM
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bel, I'm so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and prayers
I hope you guys work something out.
posted by
shelly_b
on March 8, 2007 at 9:15 PM
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I'm sending my best prayers!
Bo too! Here's a smile
from Bo =^..^= and one
from me!
posted by
Whacky
on March 8, 2007 at 8:56 PM
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Bel
I'm really sorry to learn that. But one does not know how things can turn out in the future with its inscrutable twists and turns. Pray to God to give you all the strength to face this adversity with fortitude. About your saying that there is always a tomorrow, perhaps you'll like to read a synopsis I did on Gone with the Wind in my yestreday's post, in case you feel like, because the ending of the story is exactly the same sentiment expressed by Scarlett O'Hara.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on March 8, 2007 at 8:35 PM
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Fight On
Bel. It will turn out alright in the end. Good luck to you and your husband.
posted by
8-ball
on March 8, 2007 at 8:30 PM
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Oh no!
I'm so sorry to hear this news...but I am glad to hear that you aren't going to let him go easily! So many marriages end because one or both people aren't willing to try...I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
posted by
Jadelynn
on March 8, 2007 at 7:42 PM
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bel, our thoughts and prayers are with you...
..
..
posted by
Rumor
on March 8, 2007 at 6:57 PM
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Thanks Az
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 5:26 PM
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Blonde
not so sure about tough, but I am not one to back down from a worthwhile fight. Thanks so much hon.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 5:25 PM
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Factor
I would love to hear from you. I also know that Carl loves me but we have a good deal of hurt that is getting in the way right now, we have to work our way past that and I believe we will be OK.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 5:24 PM
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Maggie
Thank you so much! I believe it will all work out in the end and Carl and I will find our way back to one another.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 5:23 PM
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Take care .
posted by
afzal50
on March 8, 2007 at 5:04 PM
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Bel
You are one tough lady......I am pulling for you and you have my support and prayers.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on March 8, 2007 at 5:00 PM
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Bel
I am so sorry to hear this. It has seemed to me that you love Carl from the bottom of your heart. But, I am sure that your time apart while he was in Iraq has been hard for numerous reasons. Actually, I think I will email you separately.
posted by
FactorFiction
on March 8, 2007 at 4:55 PM
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Oh, bel, I'm sorry to hear that..........
but I know you and Carl love each other tooo much to let it slip away. You've got my prayers, Sweetie, and I hope for the very best for both of you and your sweet daughter. I do hope you find each other again.
God bless.
posted by
MaggieMae
on March 8, 2007 at 4:44 PM
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Bends but never breaks
RaeS I think that will be my new mantra!
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 4:21 PM
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So very sorry to hear this, Bel...Prayers, hopes and hugs sent..
True Love bends, but never breaks.
posted by
Katray2
on March 8, 2007 at 4:17 PM
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Holy Grail
My brother in law said something almost exactly as you said! Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 4:15 PM
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Kingmi
thank you so very much. Funny thing about faith and belief, I am a bit sad because I am without Carl today but I believe with all that I have that we are going to find our way to one another.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 4:10 PM
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Sannhet
thank you so much for your kind gentle soul.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 4:08 PM
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Rihwik
you are so very right. Thank you
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 4:08 PM
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My thoughts are with you both. Just know that if it is meant to be, it will be. There are always bumps in the road, and as you well know, anything worth having is worth fighting for. I hope that in your time away to think and breathe, you will both find that it IS worth having and fighting for.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on March 8, 2007 at 3:55 PM
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Pat
you are so very right. I believe he and I have struggled with so much in the past few years that we just need a minute to breathe. Thank you.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 3:45 PM
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Naut
I also believe in good thoughts creating positive energy. Oddly enough, while I am still a bit shaky today, I am happy because I do believe this is just something we need to work through.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 3:43 PM
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bel1965, May God grant you peace and wisdom. May God bless you night and
Day until you feel happiness again with your Carl. He is our hero. And you are his minder! Keep the faith! I'm sorry.
posted by
kingmi
on March 8, 2007 at 3:43 PM
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Thank you so much Taps
I believe in my heart of hearts that this is just another test for us and when all is said and done we may have missed a few right answers but we will still pass the test.
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 3:42 PM
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Bel -
My prayers are with you and your "family". The strength you've shown throughout these many posts will serve you well now!
posted by
sannhet
on March 8, 2007 at 2:52 PM
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comment
prayers do work.mine for you till the end in happiness.
rithwik.lancs
posted by
rihwik.lancs
on March 8, 2007 at 2:38 PM
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You've had a hard row to hoe for the past couple years...
all kinds of adjustments to make, 90 degree turns and hard climbs. It is bound to take its toll on all of you. I'm hoping you'll all find a way to love each other through this one and find a way to be there for one another. But mostly I hope you'll be gentle with yourself and remember that you are part of the universe, and valuable to all who know you. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on March 8, 2007 at 2:35 PM
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bel, my dear,
as you know, I do not pray, but I can assure you that you and Carl are in my thoughts and have my very best, heartfelt wishes...
posted by
Nautikos
on March 8, 2007 at 2:16 PM
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Bel
Add mine to your list if you are keeping track.
posted by
TAPS.
on March 8, 2007 at 1:46 PM
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Justi
thank you so much! right now I just need the power of prayer, I am being positive about this because I refuse to believe that I will fail LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on March 8, 2007 at 1:21 PM
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bel
Honey you got the prayers. I am so sorry. It is easy to get things all mixed up. If you two can work this out I hope you will. I shall pray. I am available if you feel like yelling, throwing dishes as long as you throw them via e mail. LOL
posted by
Justi
on March 8, 2007 at 1:19 PM
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