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Well, thanks, Factorfiction!
I was thinking of starting a "stink tank" to peruse ideas on this topic.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 6:33 PM
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You do contemplate some of the strangest things...
posted by
FactorFiction
on July 8, 2005 at 4:33 PM
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I am proudly . . .
a "Mile-High" member, having produced a long series of farts which were proudly farted during a series of high-altitude, high speed maneuvers in a TF-9 Couger. I also brought back a "bag of goodies."
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 1:06 PM
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As a warning . . . .
to Sassyass_64, and to others reading this blog, those "Lact-Aid" farts often turn into what is technically known as a "wet fart," or in some circles, a "juicy fart," and they are extremely embarrassing, ruin clothing and furniture, and make anyone emitting one a
persona non grata in most social circles.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 1:03 PM
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It was purportedly . . . .
an advanced civilization's pilot who carelessly "lit one" that caused the "big bang." But, alas, that is beyond the scope of this topic.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:59 PM
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To the master of noxious fumes
I once read that the average human farts approximately 10 to 14 times daily, some of these releases are without the owners knowledge. Here is a break down for you: The Lethal Weapon IV Fart: It's loud, it's fast, everything blows up, people get hurt, end of story. The Viagra Fart: After a nice, vibrating fart, you find yourself aroused. The Got Milk? Fart: You forgot to take your "Lact-Aid", had some milk with your cookies, and now your lactose-intolerant stomach is about to teach you a lesson you won't forget. The El Nino Fart: You thought it might be serious well in advance, and it was. This fart is relentless, coming in huge waves, causing massive flooding and much damage in its wake. You vow to be better prepared next time. The Mile High Club Fart: The only way to join this club is to break wind above 30,000 feet.
posted by
Sherri_G
on July 8, 2005 at 12:57 PM
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LMAO......Professor Fartknocker....have a lovely weekend. Stay away
from matches.
posted by
behindamask
on July 8, 2005 at 12:56 PM
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or is that getting ahead of ourselves
posted by
Xeno-x
on July 8, 2005 at 12:56 PM
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so we
figured the first fart, thus followed frankly.
now, have we discovered the terminal fart?
posted by
Xeno-x
on July 8, 2005 at 12:56 PM
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But . . .
Ms. Miller may well want to write an expose' as I let it all out!
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:53 PM
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Ah, yes, the Apple . . .
According to one mnost interesting creationist view of farting, it was the apple stem that caused the first fart, but, if creationism is truth, it would more likely be the seeds that would lead to farting, or, at least, a combination of seed and stem, with an occasional worm tossed into the mix.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:51 PM
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Professor Fartknocker....thank you for clarifying. I am here to learn.
By the way, did you see the apple I laid on your desk? Enjoy.
posted by
behindamask
on July 8, 2005 at 12:49 PM
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David1Spirit . . .
Since my experimentation in the field is almost constantly going on, she may not want to sit near me.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:49 PM
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Behind a mask . . .
Those topics are definitely related, but far too advanced for the topic at hand. For instance, I have post-doctoral farting degrees (Around 98 or so, 37 centigrade), but only pre-bachelor work in pissing in the wind, etc.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:48 PM
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archiew
Maybe it will. You might get a seat next to Judith Miller!
posted by
David1Spirit
on July 8, 2005 at 12:43 PM
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Dear Professor Fartknocker........
So, the word interpreted as "MOVE" is inductive of farting into the wind, thus creating a force one can not escape. In essence, Sir, this is similar to pissing in the wind, which can result in backsplash on the pisser, as well as allows for the potential of one standing next to the pisser to feel the affect, as well. Do I understand you correctly Professor Fartknocker?
posted by
behindamask
on July 8, 2005 at 12:42 PM
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You are welcome, RAME
but I don't make this stuff up! It is fact . .. .. ... Or, so I have been told by my unnamed source. (Will keeping this source secret get me incarcerated?)
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:40 PM
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It has, until recently . . .
been part of the hidden knowledge in the great religious libraries of histoery, Alexandria, the Vatican, Oral Roberts toilet library, etc. It was a brave man, to be left unnamed at this point, who stole into the gaseous portals between portals of knowledge to retrieve and bring back this esoteric knowledge. Glad you appreciate it and are willing to add it to the knowledge of biology you already have.
posted by
archiew
on July 8, 2005 at 12:39 PM
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Archiew,
you have a very creative mind indeed. I got a kick out of reading your post. Thanks for the laugh.
posted by
RAME
on July 8, 2005 at 12:38 PM
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I spent two years in biology
And didn't get this kind of info! Great work!
posted by
David1Spirit
on July 8, 2005 at 12:35 PM
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