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MysticGmekeepr MysticGmekeepr MysticGmekeepr MysticGmekeepr
Your sweet words are like a flower for my heart 
posted by
mysteria
on April 23, 2005 at 9:01 AM
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mary_x
tis my pleasure to fill you with inspiration...
posted by
mysteria
on April 23, 2005 at 9:00 AM
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tbgroucho
I am completely enamoured by your grace my love...I'll never find the words. Thanks so much! (((((((Groucho))))))
posted by
mysteria
on April 23, 2005 at 8:54 AM
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Passionflower Lovely Lust Lotus
We lead mirrored existences it seems. I know you know this, but sheesh! you inspire the heck outta me! I am lucky that you are in my heart. I have thought about leaving California. And as soon as I gain a lil more stability, I might just venture about. I would love to be a guest in your lovely dwell. The healing would be wonderous I am sure.
posted by
mysteria
on April 23, 2005 at 8:52 AM
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wham
yes, it is amazing what one can do once one sets the mind in action. Caffiene is a very powerful drug and now that i stopped drinking a gallon a day, just a little drop will get me plenty high. I drink decaf now. Thanks for dropping in whammie
posted by
mysteria
on April 23, 2005 at 8:47 AM
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kingmi
I come across here at my worst often. You know a place to sort out my obsessive thoughts and junk. Tis hard work to be sure re-parenting myself. I am not much of a mom and I am an even worse child...But I am graced by true grace and very grateful for the guidance I am lucky enough to merit.
posted by
mysteria
on April 21, 2005 at 1:12 PM
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Mysteria, It hurts us that the one thing that heals us more than anything is the hardest part to do. Thinking of, holding, owning the worst of the feelings, is what heals us. You have done this, congratulations. You are not damaged goods nor were you ever!
posted by
kingmi
on April 19, 2005 at 7:42 PM
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Wow mysteria,
this writing is so vivid and lucid. You obviously have so many challenges before you, but I detect your firm resolve. You are very special and creative; I’ve known that for a long time. I’d bet them ten to one that you’ll be successful at anything you set your mind to.
posted by
telemachus
on April 17, 2005 at 6:51 AM
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Mysteria,
Your courage and determination to heal, to tell the truth and face it, as raw as it is, inspire me. I wrote a post on depression and thinking in my journal, Under a Moody Sky, and I referred to your blog. I hope you don't mind, but I am struggling to balance truth with positive thinking and healing.
posted by
Blanche.
on April 16, 2005 at 6:15 PM
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"I am damaged goods ", you say....and I am "second best" but we can heal ourselves from the inside out with the sharing of our words. Fingers fly across the terrain of our past madness and sorrow, and stictch us back together with the story of our survival and our eventual arrival at integration & wholeness. You will soar.........
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on April 16, 2005 at 3:17 PM
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All the things you are doing for yourself, physically and emotionally, will help tremendously. As far as the memories go, at least you
can remember. This is something I deal with. But I suppose our selves know when it is safe and when we are ready to remember. Maybe your mother's death dream is symbolic of you letting go of the past, the 'death' of your old self. You are in my thoughts
.
posted by
ReneL.
on April 16, 2005 at 1:26 PM
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mysteria
that caloric intake is a tad low; have an ice cream.
your writing is magnifique. You hold a lens to your history and share it for us to see. It is not an easy life, but you are so clearly healing it. It is Honor to Witness it. Rock on.
posted by
tbgroucho
on April 16, 2005 at 12:15 PM
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Mysteria, you and I share so many ghosts and demons in our past...
I have a theory about the 'death dream' your mom had. This is what happened to me. I died 4 yrs ago last Christmas. I did nothing to cause what happened. I was innocent. That part made me even more angry.
I was left with no family and friends to speak of. I was lost and scared. I didn't know who I was anymore. Right then at that time, I didn't see things or understand them the way I do now.
It was a good thing that the "old me" died. She was too weak..not a survivor. But death and birth are such painful things! Once you die to all those old memories, once you forgive yourself and everyone and move on, you'll see.
It IS very necessary to completely disconnect yourself from all those people from your past---at least for now. You don't know it now, but God will help you find new and wonderful people to fill the roles of mom and dad, sister and brother. These will be loving, kind souls that will truly care for you and be a blessing to your life.
You have a bright, wonderful future ahead of you. Yes, it IS painful! I still cry for the family I once had but no longer grieve for them. I have amazing freinds and family now...You will have that too. Did you ever consider leaving California and beginning your new life in a whole new region of the country?
Texas is a wonderful place. You might like it here. I have a lovely home in the country and many great freinds you'd love.
posted by
Passionflower
on April 16, 2005 at 11:47 AM
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Mysteria,
I wish you all of the best. It sounds like you are working very hard and doing the right things.
I should cut back on my caffeine, so I have to give you credit!
I had never heard of the legend of the veil.
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on April 16, 2005 at 9:29 AM
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