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mysteria
Good post. It sounds like you have found the right person to help you get yourself together and find out who you really are.
My wife grew up in a very mentally abusive situation in a Christian home and I have had to help her find inner strength to deal with some of the scars left over from that.
The tells of her aunt get even worse. She had a good Christian husband her took her up tot eh mountains and did all her could to keep her away from the rest of the world as he mentally and physically abuse her and her three children. She finally got away from him, but lives in fear that he might hunt her down. She really is only a shell of a person it seems. Part of that I believe comes from the fact that she is still religious and has yet to find any inner strength. I do not believe she will find any enjoyment in her life from her on out. She is still putting her faith in a institution that basically abused her greatly and most likely has tried to say it was all her fault.
It sounds like you have a friend there who really cares for you and is going to help you figure out how to enjoy life and be able to live again. Life really is very enjoyable after all.
posted by
kooka_lives
on November 28, 2004 at 9:06 AM
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ody
It sounds to me like that is what she is doing right now, thanks to her atheist friend who is showing her that good deeds and such have nothing at all to do with God, but everything to do with a individual's own strength. She seems to be recovering very well thanks to an absence of any ideas of God. if this atheist is anything like myself, who has ahd to work through many of my wife's problems (A lot of which came about due ot her strict Christian up bringing) he is showing her that she is a good person and the judgment that was passed on her was wrong and' that she needs to develop an inner strength because the greatest way to help a person to overcome such hardships is be making sure they know just how strong a person they are and that they ar important and can be in control of their lives. Just the idea of God takes away much of that idea. I know my wife has the most problems with her mind falls back into the Christians ideals that she was brought up with and I can only get her to feel better about herself by making it very clear that she is something special and that her inner strength is the key to her overcoming her problems. It is very hard to fight against the destructive ideas that many of the Christian teaching put in people.
posted by
kooka_lives
on November 28, 2004 at 8:59 AM
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Whatever a person's religion, what they reap is what they sow. Some call it Karma, whatever its name, your good will come back to you as does your evil.
posted by
Ca88andra
on November 27, 2004 at 11:19 PM
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mysteria
Seek what is right within yourself and if you can’t find anything in there to grasp on to right now then imagine the opposite of the darkness that you do see. Kindle a spiritual spark, any pleasant thought, that ignites in contrast to the pain and don’t let it go, no matter what. You can keep it from going by returning to it, to that pleasant thought that opposes the darkness, periodically throughout each and every day. Continue and let it expand within you, void of any tainted doctrines from outside of you, consisting only of the pure spirit within you that you know to be right. Whatever that thought may be for you, cling to it, desperately, until you eventually find that another pure thought joins it, and then another, and another. Willfully pursue this path and slowly push the blackness back and keep it at bay by continually nurturing your ever-growing arsenal of goodness.
posted by
telemachus
on November 27, 2004 at 8:36 PM
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Mysteria, that is a very sweet thing to say. I believe our pasts, the good
and bad, have a lot to do with our perception of the world today. My faith in my God is very real, but the people who follow God are often the most faltered. I am recovering from major trauma right now. I feel shaken inside and deeply hurt, but what can I do? Hopefully learn from my experiences and move on. I have issues too. We all do. Whether believer or nonbeliever, it seems no one is perfect. I say when you find a good friend you can trust, stay close to him or her. I have lost confidence in mankind because of disappointment after disappointment, abandoment, misunderstandings and betrayal. Still, I'm not giving up. I'm an eternal optimist, depsite my melancholy.
I wish you the very best, sweetie, and hope that you continue to search for the wonder of quantum light. 
posted by
Ariala
on November 27, 2004 at 8:03 PM
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freerain
Your comment on this blog is the kind of thing i hope everyone can appreciate and your comment on this blog is the kind of thing that makes blogging so satisfying... Peace to you too.... lover mysteria
posted by
mysteria
on November 27, 2004 at 8:01 PM
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having a real relationship
means the person is reality based. Most christians, myself included once upon a time, build their relationship around the imaginary pretense that they are "chosen" people, blessed by God (no matter what they do or how they treat others) and are always forgiven of their brutal offenses (justification being they are not perfect, anyway, and it is just their "evil" nature that is at fault). I've repented of my insanity and now embrace my nature as perfect in its self, and I live and love from the reality that life is the highest value, for me. I am not an Atheist, though I considered it as a backlash to the God-mind indoctrination I was in. Facing reality daily, that this is the only moment we have to express ourselves in, makes each day fully satisfying. You just can't treat a friend with disrespect or fault finding crucifixion if you don't KNOW that you won't see them again.
Peace,
FR
posted by
freerain
on November 27, 2004 at 7:57 PM
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Ariala
thanks for reading me. I have been tempted time and time again to write about this question as it is a favorite not just here but in the world in general.
People are people to me for the most part as well. I do not choose my friends, they choose me. As I personally find myself as you know, very unworthy of anything. The people that have chosen me to be their friend just so happen to coincidently be atheistic. I lean toward agnostism, because it seems that I find myself unworthy of even an opinion. When I get really confused I just close my eyes and remember this is all a dream. Anyway, I am glad you weren't offended by me and my demonstration.
If there is a god, I really do hope he is the one that you believe in as your god is the most evolved god i have ever seen anyone represent. lover mysteria
posted by
mysteria
on November 27, 2004 at 7:55 PM
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mysteria, in my own experience i have found my best friends among people
who were of no religion or atheists. I have been stabbed in the back over and over and over and over again by Christians...yet, I am still one myself. I love that song "My Own Personal Jesus" by Manson.
posted by
Ariala
on November 27, 2004 at 7:43 PM
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