What I Learned in College

By DancesWithWords - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, March 22, 2004

The Meaning of Dreams... Brushing Your Teeth = Blow Job

It's true... Don't you notice the similarities? Somewhere I read this dream analysis thingie that divulged: women who dream of brushing their teeth either have a subconscious desire to give a blow job, or something very similar-- I can't remember the exact wording. I think it was Freud.... At any... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

WARNING: Not House-broken When Drunk...

WARNING: Not House-broken When Drunk She came. She drank. She peed. Imagine this: a whole weekend—three amazing days—with a full line-up of rockin’ bands and enough alcohol to inebriate an army…or at least an entire college campus…. Our “Spring Arts” festival began with spiked lemonades, shorts and... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 8, 2004

Fun is More Important...

Fun is more important than one test or exam, than one speech or paper, than one night of cramming that can be done in an hour and a half in the morning. Enjoy every last drop because college goes by too damn fast. I miss those days.... Ricebird: Twin-- hope you are livin it up for me! Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 16, 2004

How to Waste Time 101

If there was an award for wasting the most time in college, or procrastinating the most, I surely would have won. In fact, I became so good at it that now I truly miss my randomly spaced out naps, my sporadic cookie baking, my jogs, rugby ball tosses, more naps, playing games on the internet, going... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Ok, Ok... I lied.

I lied. I admit it. College was so real that I am actually SCARED SHITLESS now that I am not IN COLLEGE anymore. I miss walking across the hall or down the balcony to my friend's places. Now I face a 1.5 to 2 or 3 hour drive just to SEE A FRIEND IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN LESS THAN A MINUTE TO WALK TO SEE... Sign in to see full entry.

College is not REAL... it is a figment of your imaGINation

Looking back through tired eyes at faded memories, I have finally come to the realization that my days of carefree, footloose fun are behind me. The moments of blurry, drinking fun, "instant californias" and rugby songs are tucked away for safe keeping... at least for now.... I am now in the "Real... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 4, 2004

Beer is Twice as Good When It's Cold...

or FREE... My teammates and I had a real knack for getting free beers at the local college / townie bars. We knew how to be just friendly enough to make some new pals, how to agree to sing a song for karaoke night, but to mention we were not "drunk enough" to sing... that got us pitcher after... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 2, 2004

Groundhog, Schmoundhog... People Only Go to Punxy for Beer and Festivties

The Truth about GH Day... Turns out Groundhog Day is a glorified Tail-Gate Party.... And although I missed out on the festivities when my some of my college roommates decided to turn it into a field trip, I did learn the basics of the day... Apparently, people gather there in TENTS overnight, and to... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 1, 2004

Do Not Let Your Friend Drink the WHOLE WATERMELON on Her Birthday...

When soaked with (cheap- aka: disgusting) Vodka, do not allow intoxicated birthday girl to tilt the carved watermelon to her lips cereal-bowl style to drain its remnants. After her "21 birthday spanks" from her crush and some normal party events, she will be home with her roommate, displaying her... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 29, 2004

When They Say No Puppies, They Mean NO PUPPIES :o(

"Your room is Barking"... Always getting myself into trouble--I love adventures and excitement... so my junior year in college-- living in a campus-owned house, I decided on a whim to get a puppy. She was an adorable beagle/sheltie mix, small and the last of her litter. Soo cute - and after fighting... Sign in to see full entry.

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