The Thoughts of Chairman Johnnie

Thursday, November 24, 2005

who made my ball sticky?

My misus has been trying to make me feel better. Just got outa Pakistan after a stupid head game of cricket. That's right, you heard right, a stupid head game of cricket! Someone put sticky on the ball so when I tried to bowl in from of all the cameras it came out of my hand all stupid and people... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

think of me as a doctor, now go to sleep

Don't bother me with opinion polls! The papers might say that there's been an enormous voter backlash against my industrial relations reforms, my selling off of public assets and my breaking apart social services but what do they know? Backlash! Well I'll tell you one thing, the lash will not be... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

here we go again

Here we go again. This was in today's paper! " Government changes to welfare will create a new underclass of working poor reliant on charities, family and friends to supplement low wages, church-based employment organisations will tell a parliamentary inquiry today. Instead of creating incentives... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

in Korea with my best mate in the whole universe

I knew I'd have to wear a stupid costume! At least my best mate in the whole universe is here in South Korea. He's always slapping me on the back and making jokes about the stupid stuff we have to do. I never get a grumpy face when George is around coz he's the best. He said,"Hey Johnnie, I got my... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

in Asia

I'm in Asia right now and my misus says I have to put on my Mr. Diplomacy Face and even wear the stupid shirts. I wonder if anyone is going to bring up my old comments from the 80s about Australia being at risk of being "swamped by Asians." Back then I used to say what I really thought. I found this... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 14, 2005

bow your heads to your Supreme Leader

So what if there were thousands of people marching in the street in opposition to my industrial laws. The people who marched against the war in Iraq didn't make a difference and neither will these people and you want to know why? Coz I have the power. Absolute power. Total. I can do what I like to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

I'm a naughty bottom rap singing Prime Minister

When I retire from being Prime Minister and I make sure anyone but Treasurer Sooky Bubs inherits the position then I'm gunna be a rap singer. Today I've been working on my act and my missus has been practising her dance moves. It's gunna be so cool. Johnnie: "I'm tougher than an old boot! I'm the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 7, 2005

it was only $150,000 you stupid heads

So I spent $150,000 on public information booklets that had to be destroyed coz they were missing the word "fair" on the front cover. It's only $150,000! People are such sooky bubs with all their stuff about "wasting tax payers money" and using tax dollars to finance "propaganda"! Stupid heads, it's... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 5, 2005

not happy

I am not a happy Prime Minister! The cricket's going OK but we're being beaten by the French in the rugby... in fact (I'm writing later now) the stupid head frog munchers beat us. Not fare! As my best mate George always says "someone shoulda nuked them years ago!" Someone's going to pay for all this... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

I didn't do it and you watch it if you say I did

Stupid old newspaper headlines... "Prime Minister buggers up years of undercover surveillance work by blabbing his big mouth about imminent terrorist threat." Stupid heads making me look bad. I know what I'm doing. Miss Fiscalfivecents says I'm better than James Bond and then I tell her I'll have my... Sign in to see full entry.

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