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kabu
i feel bad for you going through this
posted by
jeansaw
on April 15, 2014 at 10:29 PM
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kabu
being it is just your friend, i would talk to her children and suggest therapy, but they would have to go with her to resolve her issues. other than that, i have gone over and over what i might have done and i cant think of anything except talking to her about it, but i didnt know about hording until it was to late.
posted by
jeansaw
on April 15, 2014 at 10:29 PM
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kabu
i know first hand of hoarding. my mother was a hoarder. and i can tell you it is a mental illness brought on by different things, but alot of the time by a loss. it is not lazyness. they say they want help, but when confronted with actually throwing something out, they are unable to do it. i spent a vacation at my mothers trying to help her and finally gave up. before my mother died she had to sleep in her car as the house was just to full. and when told she could not return to her home, (she had fallen and broke her hip) she gave up and died. it seems to me that when someone is mentally ill that someone should be able to step in and do something. but my sister and i did not know what to do and when we went to social services they said there was nothing they could do. they said we would just have to understand it was an illness. my older sister thought when she broke her hip it would be a good time to get her out of the house and into assisted living, now my younger sister and her family blame her death on my older sister. i would have chosen to clean out the house while she was in the hospital and then let her fill it up again, because that is what would have happened. at least it would have taken her to the end of her life to do it. it was a big house. i do not blame my sister she did what she thought was best.
posted by
jeansaw
on April 15, 2014 at 12:01 PM
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Apparently, according to many things I have read and seen recently, there are some who consider hoarding to be some kind of 'mental disease.' I myself am not so sure about that. I believe much of it stems from pure laziness, plain and simple. My friend's mom is probably a boarder line hoarder. I say boarder line because, so far, the only areas of her house that are affected by her unwillingness to discard anything are the guest room ( obviously no longer suitable for 'guests' ) and their basement. My wife and I have tried and tried over the years to help, but sometimes it's like shoveling the sand on the beach back into the ocean! If it seems to be spilling over into any other part of the house, then we will probably have to take more drastic actions . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on April 15, 2014 at 7:44 AM
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I know a few people who are mini-hoarders and know that having their 'stuff' around them is comforting, I guess??? But it really is so much more stress free for anyone to have less than more. Minus the disease, rats, smell.......well, you know what I mean!!
posted by
Butterfly-1950
on April 15, 2014 at 4:14 AM
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When I worked for the paper my editor assigned me an interview
with an elderly anthropologist widow who'd spent time in Northern Alaska studying the Aleut people, and her house was stacked neatly with newspapers, latest date on top, and furnishings from her deceased mother's and mother-in-law, her husband's clothes and chair and reading glasses, etc. I suppose she took to anthropology because it was her natural bent to acquire artifacts. These stories encourage me to keep on sorting and pitching. I'm learning to love an expanse of clear floor, and an empty spot under a window where a storage box once sat.
posted by
Pat_B
on April 15, 2014 at 3:46 AM
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I have known folk do this with papers and magazines leaving just a tight passageway to squeeze through, not much authority in that town I suppose you took a few souvenirs.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 14, 2014 at 11:49 PM
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In our city there would be an injunction against them to clean up or the city will come take away all that is outside the house. That is totally insane.
posted by
Justi
on April 14, 2014 at 10:17 PM
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I think it is pretty nigh impossible to help a hoarder. There is some little kink in the brain that will not let a person change.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 14, 2014 at 8:55 PM
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Oh, Grandmummy...this breaks my heart in two. People who hoard have a horrible sickness all their own. They hoard to replace things or people(or animals)they have lost in their lives, thinking it will somehow make up for all the pain they've suffered.
Here in America, the housing authorities can actually force a person to clean out their hoarding. If the property isn't cleaned within a certain time period, the person can actually be evicted.
I ache for your friend. Something caused her to start hoarding...and I can't imagine the pain. Have you suggested she seek professional help from a counselor of some kind?
for you and for your dear friend.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on April 14, 2014 at 6:42 PM
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Kabu
Boy, that's pretty gruesome! It looks even worse than my study...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 14, 2014 at 6:06 PM
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That is quite a hoard there...It can be very tough to get hoaders to get rid of things.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on April 14, 2014 at 5:37 PM
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I've been meaning to talk with you,
about your laundry room darlin'. roflmao. Maybe your pal will come here and help you when she looks at the pictures I sent her.
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 14, 2014 at 5:13 PM
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Good grief! It's hard to believe that the municipality bigwigs can do nothing about
this.
Good move for getting rid of some extra boxes!
posted by
adnohr
on April 14, 2014 at 4:46 PM
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