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i just glanced back at this one....glad you took all the ands out...it makes for a smoother read utah 

posted by Annicita on September 14, 2012 at 6:15 PM | link to this | reply

It truly is a slow progression...

posted by FormerStudentIntern on September 14, 2012 at 10:27 AM | link to this | reply

The pain is dull I guess Jay this is a means that has no end. Nice work

posted by C_C_T on September 14, 2012 at 7:02 AM | link to this | reply

edits:  take off all of those ands at the beginning of sentences....take with off the line about smiles....

wonderful job....yes my sister went through that...matter of fact still is 

posted by Annicita on September 14, 2012 at 5:58 AM | link to this | reply

Nice work - and I loved the comments & responses, too...

Seems so easy for a kid to go off track and think destructive stuff is "fun."

posted by Pat_B on September 14, 2012 at 4:36 AM | link to this | reply

I hear your heart and head at war in your soul knowing this is not the right thing but how do I stop this bus and get off. Oh the writing is so wonderful.

posted by Justi on September 14, 2012 at 12:48 AM | link to this | reply

Antipathy and hostilies in anyone definitely shows a lack of God's nourishment but being human I suppose these traits are imbibed in each one of us..as usual the poem is great Utah and made me think. thank you for your comment.

posted by shobana on September 13, 2012 at 11:58 PM | link to this | reply

You're finding eloquent words for it, Jay.

posted by 2902 on September 13, 2012 at 10:30 PM | link to this | reply

I see me too, in the angry eyes of young people lost in a world they reached for, but were handed only pain and lies and horrors so deep they laid buried, smouldering and festering to a point that only fear and mistrust survived in a shell that only wanted to forget, but could not. At least nowadays there are counselors for those lucky enough to find them and afford them...And in my case the hurting has just begun. You have not seen anything yet.

posted by UtahJay on September 13, 2012 at 9:23 PM | link to this | reply

As Kabu says, this is amazing writing.  With it written in the form of poetry, it is all the more poignant.

posted by TAPS. on September 13, 2012 at 9:18 PM | link to this | reply

chilling in its horror for i have met you when I was nursing

actually at many times in my life...and I turned away if fear and disgust. This is just amazing writing.

posted by Kabu on September 13, 2012 at 9:00 PM | link to this | reply