Comments on If at first you don't succeed...

Go to Life in the fast lane--where's the on ramp?Add a commentGo to If at first you don't succeed...

This is great!  It took me a while to read back but its truly good and riveting.  Write on!  xoxoxo

posted by Sinome on July 4, 2011 at 6:29 AM | link to this | reply

Just in case I was misunderstood - I mean don't stop the STORY!!

 

posted by adnohr on July 3, 2011 at 6:44 PM | link to this | reply

I agree with Kabu - the flow is better in this version. And, please - don't stop now!!!!!!!!!!

posted by adnohr on July 3, 2011 at 6:43 PM | link to this | reply

It does work better darling...going real good

posted by Kabu on July 3, 2011 at 6:34 PM | link to this | reply

Don't be confused, Wiley...
When you asked about the rough draft (first version) your questions pointed the way to this revision. I believe the plot thread works a bit better this time, it's less ambiguous... or at least that was my intention.

posted by Pat_B on July 3, 2011 at 4:58 PM | link to this | reply

PatB
Great writing but I'm confused again. Is this a story in progress that you have partly written previously and now you have edited? HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY

posted by WileyJohn on July 3, 2011 at 12:08 PM | link to this | reply