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What a beautiful child ~ and tender --- and the song is lovely as well, Bel ~ Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on October 23, 2010 at 9:53 AM
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What a beautiful child ~ and tender --- and the song is lovely as well, Bel ~ Elyse
posted by
elysianfields
on October 23, 2010 at 9:53 AM
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Bel
Blessings luv, it will all work out in time.
posted by
WileyJohn
on October 22, 2010 at 2:57 PM
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For me, moms don't have to be biological, they just have to be what you have done and who you are! The point is to make a difference in a child's life and you most certainly have for Pam! Every girl needs a mom and be proud you have a beautiful daughter! sam
posted by
sam444
on October 22, 2010 at 9:52 AM
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she is so lucky to have you as her mom and she is a lovely lady, you are indeed both lucky.
posted by
Lanetay
on October 22, 2010 at 9:19 AM
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Thank you everyone for the kind thoughts and comments.
I have to agree with Pat and Justi overall on this. Carrying around hate, eats you up and it steals your joy. I refuse to give anyone that kind of power. Carl and I know we are one of the rare few who have a second chance with one another. Too often even people who love another are known to hold onto their grudges and at the end of their lives, that grudge has not offered them any joy or peace.
I am never going to be a fan of Pam's egg donor but she gave me a very precious gift without her, Pam would not be here and for that, I owe her a huge debt of gratitude. What I can do is this: Not be around her, not engage and not let her eat away at my gut. Instead, I will channel that energy into my life, the people I love and into being happy.
Guy, I really do get where you are coming from and I am so glad you are out of that relationship. I am making assumptions here and I apologize if I am mistaken on this one. But one of my missions over the next few months is to bring to light the fact that women are also abusers and men don't talk about it out of shame and social stereotypes. I don't know what happened to you, but it sounds to me like you have been hurt pretty badly and often those scars are tough to heal. Remember my friend...the best revenge is living well AND HAPPY!!! Honor your feelings, I don't believe in anyone telling us how we should feel but don't let them eat you up and destroy you.
Again, to all of you. Thank you so much for not only your wonderful, sweet comment but for being the wonderful, loving people you are and for being a part of my life.
posted by
Bel_
on October 22, 2010 at 8:42 AM
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that is the most touching post I have read in a long time. I think we get the children we deserve, and you surely seem to
posted by
lionreign
on October 22, 2010 at 8:15 AM
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Your daughter is adorable. And smart. What's not to like?
As for her bio (i won't say mother or parent) source -- It's good to stay away from toxic energy. Just thinking about her stirs up bad feelings for you, changes and darkens your day. As for forgiveness, some day maybe you can forgive just to get the bitterness out of your own hearts, but not yet.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 22, 2010 at 6:05 AM
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I disagree with Justi.Nobody MUST forgive anybody! Some DON'T deserve it!
Sorry but there are many times when hatred serves a useful purpose. It shows us the stark differences between good people, and the truly evil ones, and hatred burns the scars, deeply into our psyches so we will never forget. Mental defectives are probably innocent of guilt, regardless of their actions, but there are many sociopaths spreading venom throughout society, merely because they CAN and they actually enjoy exercizing their self-indulgent power to hurt others.
We both have met living examples of evil incarnate, and I even married one, and it took me more than twenty years, to exorcize her completely from my life!
I regret having to resort to using the religious term "exorcize," but I cannot think of a better word to describe how it felt to do this. My only other option was to commit murder, and as satisfying as that would have been, it clearly has unpleasant consequences, too. I take the hatred, thank you.
posted by
northsage_45
on October 22, 2010 at 4:35 AM
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Wonderful post. I love how you love each other and how you build each other up. She loves you so because you have never let her down. Great mother/daughter relationship.
posted by
TAPS.
on October 21, 2010 at 11:33 PM
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God does answer our prayers, perhaps not always in the way we wanted originally but in the way he knows is best for us. You do have a beautiful daughter.
posted by
MsJudy
on October 21, 2010 at 10:12 PM
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You and Carl have worked hard, gone the longest mile and mainly you have kept this child in an environment of love and safety. You will have to forgive the mother and give up the hate, let God take care of the damage, you just love the beautiful daughter. God bless you for your love and care.
posted by
Justi
on October 21, 2010 at 10:06 PM
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You are all so blessed to be in each other's lives.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on October 21, 2010 at 8:13 PM
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Re: Pam and you and Carl too are blessed to have each other.
Thank you so much Kabu.
posted by
Bel_
on October 21, 2010 at 7:40 PM
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Pam and you and Carl too are blessed to have each other.
posted by
Kabu
on October 21, 2010 at 7:34 PM
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