Grind's Stories > Comments on A short story that might develop: Forest of Improbability

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Re: Short story ---
ENGROSSING ! W/ Fabulous characters!!  A kind of hyper-barbaric version of Larry, Darrel-and Darrel ( meant as a complement ). Intend to read further! As far as length, I got same feedback when I started posting a novel currently in Fiction section. I started posting it one chap. at a time ( even those  postings were a little long ). Curently the whole novel is posted ( last chpt 1st. ) --And it's REEEEal long. - But I'm leaving in fiction for the time being, so readers can come in and out and read a little at their leisure. If you'd like to visit it, note that I've 2 listings in fiction. the 2nd. one  ( several blog listings down from the 1st.) is the actual blog.Although my overall blog is -pretty enourmous- I do think it's best to limit the size of on individual entry.

posted by NeomancerNorthStar on September 22, 2010 at 12:52 PM | link to this | reply

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posted by NeomancerNorthStar on September 22, 2010 at 12:35 PM | link to this | reply

Wow, I actually got some feedback on this. Thanks alot! Yes, I guess in a blog one should reduce the amount of text for each entry. Thanks alot for the comment on the dialog. This is pretty much a draft of a short story, and I have not edited it. Thanks to your comments I will edit it and break it up into several parts. I will also continue the story if anyone feels like reading onward. Thanks alot, once again.

posted by Gregory_K_Grind on September 13, 2010 at 3:25 PM | link to this | reply

I like this, but agree that it is too long for a single read! sam 

posted by sam444 on September 12, 2010 at 7:29 PM | link to this | reply

a lot of thought put in to that, but you might want to decrease the volume of the breath, one may not want to stay or have time enough to read the whole entry at one sitting, try breaking it up and leave the reader suspended

posted by eburns111 on September 10, 2010 at 4:49 PM | link to this | reply

w I found interesting your use of legend and the slang of the modern vernacular. It gives a vulgar effect. I guess that’s good in Sci-fi, eh? BC-A, Bill’s RJLst

posted by BC-A on September 9, 2010 at 1:36 PM | link to this | reply

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