Elinjo's World > Comments on My mind's abuzz this morning.

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- I earned a certificate upon completion of Parent Effectiveness Training. It emphasized listening and expressing feelings love. 201KBC-A, Bill’s RJLst

posted by BC-A on January 19, 2010 at 8:55 PM | link to this | reply

I see a lot of inspiration for future blog ideas here. I really have to sit back and think about these.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on January 19, 2010 at 7:01 PM | link to this | reply

I hope you had a marvelous day with your grandchildren! I still think the sentence was very harsh! Shelly And my migraines have been tolerable, thank you so much for your inquiry!

posted by sam444 on January 19, 2010 at 6:30 PM | link to this | reply

Dear Betty, I suppose the child's parents would have consulted the teacher first before going to the police. The teacher would not have been able to help much. I think the school should have disciplined him in doing some community work in the school itself. The child's parents should have known better than to have their son pick on a much younger kid and disciplined him themselves because eventually it leads to his upbringing. Standing up for their son in this issue doesn't say much of them. These days parents are too busy running a rat race to concentrate fully on their children and nurturing their upbringing the way our forefathers have done and teachers are more concerned with their own agenda.Thank you so much for your visit to my blog and your kind concern.

posted by shobana on January 19, 2010 at 1:13 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks for your comments.
I've been away most of the day. After looking after the grandchildren I've spent most of the evening replying to questions posed by some teenagers who have decided to write a report about Esperanto.
Thanks for commenting on this post. Now I'll be off to read what you've been up to.

posted by elinjo on January 19, 2010 at 12:43 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Elyse
Elyse, I am overwhelmed my the generous amount of time you must have taken to write such a comprehensive comment. Thank you so much.

As you have worked with children you know only too well the stresses and strains involved. I too worked nearly all my working days with young children. In the last years the working conditions grew more and more difficult due to reductions in staff and extra tasks. Even the most energetic teacher cannot be 100% sure of detecting all problems.

It certainly must have been a very, very big challenge coping with your son in the situation that you described. Onlookers often make life even more difficult for the poor parents or carers. At one time I worked in a group, where there was an autistic child. Until the psychologist finally diagnosed this problem we got no extra help at all. When we went out for walks, if we did not follow exactly the same route he went frantic. What else could I do, but force him to go with us?

It's hard enough to guide children, but double so hard if they've got special needs.

Hugs to you too! Thanks once again.   

posted by elinjo on January 19, 2010 at 12:39 PM | link to this | reply

Oh dear Elinjo --- I see your mind abuzz this morning and I understand where you are thinking by all these questions...
I would wonder myself if the parents contacted the teacher...but, nowadays, I hear for shortage of teachers and ratio of student to teachers, that sometimes teachers just don't 'hear' or acknowledge all they can or need to. 
*I substituted a couple of years back then (when my kiddos were younger) and I did not substitute long as the whole climate of the classroom changed from bad to worse.  I simply found it too stressful for me --- so, I commend teachers for their efforts, but I think it's more difficult today especially to give social guidance to so many ~  
Now, I would also wonder if the parents got in touch with the bully's parents as well...but again, I don't know;
not fully understanding what all was in play here, I just simply cannot fully understand.
Now, I know that as far as social dynamics - some cannot rise up to the occasion and do not take responsibility when they should - and so, we have what you wrote about initially,
which is a mother advocating for her son and she took matters (allegedly) in her own 'hand's yet, the laws are clearly in place these days supporting the young bully's rights and deeming the authoritative or superior responsible for 'their own' actions/reactions and it's plainly all about keeping control of our emotions at all costs. (as per her incarceration now)
This young bully - he may not only bother his class mates but on into life, God knows what he may be capable of doing. 
However, the justice system, (most times, with their own private agendas and dysfunction) are there to enforce 'rights'  but, I will add, this is 'extreme' --- just that. 
*When one of my sons was younger I could not control his acting out in a public arena...He was 8 years old and he could confuse a hornets nest when he got it in his mind to take control of an audience. He was with the disorder of ADHD and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)  As I was taking him out to the car, I held his arm firmly and when I got him to the car for his (recommended) time-out, I was exasperated by this time as he
was in a full scale tantrum. I put him in the car, physically trying to get him to sit inside (again, a recommended 'holding or bracing' by professionals) so he could gain control of his emotions, meanwhile trying to keep my emotion's as 'calm' yet, firm.  He screamed to high heaven how I was hurting him...and I was standing away from him at this point... He could have won an academy award. 
Well, a couple of women came over -- peering from behind their car and one said visibly upset, "oh don't hurt him - oh please stop" and the other said, "we'll call the police" ----
I had to stop from what I was tending to at that point to explain myself and what I was trying to do,meanwhile, my son was quiet and then shut his own door, calmly.  (and while I was explaining these women were not listening, only judging what they had already prejudged)
Needless to say, calm was restored and only by the threat of his mother being possibly jailed for trying to control him - or he was satisfied, one... 
I had hoped he learned a lesson, as we spoke about it on the way home,
but, all in all he didn't and it took years for him to learn.  Meanwhile, I could only intercede by doing my best in parenting when society in fact, would get in and confuse any skill meant for the intention of "parenting".  This is just one example of what all may be misinterpreted and how a hornets nest can get knocked and buzz sets free among a mix of intentions.  Such is the sea of life.
Could be, It's all a catch 22 --- and so, we're at the mercy of life -  and of the systems.
Continually, Love your Grandchild and your Love is what will sustain him and nourish him and keep him secure in what could be a very stressful, scary world. 
Elinjo, I send you big hugs ~ Elyse

posted by elysianfields on January 19, 2010 at 10:46 AM | link to this | reply

its not the teachers responsiblity to teach the rules of life, its the parents and so much of what is wrong today with the crime, is the lack of parents caring.  But my daughter says it has nothing to do with the parents its the way the kid thinks and what he/she want to do. She said it had nothing to do with me as far as her choices she made in life and her ex boyfriend its not his mom fault he choice the life he did. I disagree.  Maybe the best step was to go to the prinicipal or call the authorties and see what kind of life this child has.

posted by Lanetay on January 19, 2010 at 8:10 AM | link to this | reply

Betty, I believe that the teacher's duty goes far beyond teaching the 3R s, and teach life skills etc.

posted by Nita09 on January 19, 2010 at 7:45 AM | link to this | reply

Just now read both posts.  I don't have the answers but I have thoughts on the matter.
I think perhaps bully parents most often make bully children.
I think perhaps bully teachers have the most problems with their pupils.
I think there is a better way than striking a child.

posted by TAPS. on January 19, 2010 at 5:38 AM | link to this | reply

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