Go to Grandfather In the Father Role:Grandfather Speaks
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posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on February 12, 2009 at 5:44 AM
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the 8th birthday is this weekend
So, when you are raising a grandchild you of course plan a birthday party, right? well, actually, in our situation, it means panning three birthday parties. One out of town with our granndson's parents at a restaurant, one nearby in a place called My Gym for his school friends, and one for the immediate family living here. Getting this lined up in a way in which our grandson can understand the lines of demarcation (why can't my mother come to the family party? there are reasons as you might guess), and today coming home from school somewhat aggravated because another child has her birthday the same day as he does (not fair he thinks), and anyway, his teacher seems to have forgotten about both of them...all these things add up to a bunch of emoitions flying around that we try to receive and address and understand, then move on, as he already has. One thing we have learned is that even if there is a "melt-down" we don't need to panic as it does pass and shortly later after venting something new comes along. He just asked me what I was doing here at the computer and I said it was sort of like writing in a diary. Well, anyway, I do my best to make it clear that I love him no matter what, always. Best, G'father
posted by
grafather
on February 6, 2009 at 1:17 PM
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Welcome to Blogit! I'm relatively new too, took out a trial membership and have recently decided to pay annualy; this is a very special place to be.
You and your wife must be very wonderful and courageous people to do what you are doing. Many, many happy returns of the day to your grandson. My own granddaughter is eight today; it's a delightful age. Thankfully her parents are able to take care both of her and and her younger brother.
Good luck, health and happiness to you all!
Best wishes
Elinjo
posted by
elinjo
on February 5, 2009 at 1:24 AM
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Re: Re: Welcome to Blogit.......
You have e-mail
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on February 4, 2009 at 6:03 AM
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Re: Welcome to Blogit.......
Corbin: thakns for your nice comment and support. Am I doing this right? Is this how I can be back on touch with you periodically? Blogging is totally new to me but I look forward to some dialogue around the issues and joys of being a father when really a grandfather. Do be back to me if you have a minute. Thanks, G'father
posted by
grafather
on February 3, 2009 at 5:47 PM
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Re: from one grandfather to another -- welcome -- I hope you like it here
Dear Xeno-x: thanks for welcoming me to this totally strange new world of blogging. I would like to hear more from you if you have a minute. Are you also in my situation, raising a grandchild? Thanks and best, G'father
posted by
grafather
on February 3, 2009 at 5:45 PM
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Re:
Hi Betsy: thank you so much for your supportive comments! I guess many people think about what "they would do" if this situation arose, and I can tell you, probably almost noone would ultimately hesitate. What is more important than saving a child? I mean we all may wish to make a mark in the world one way or another, but this is certainly a living contribution to the future.
I go to the gym every day very early in the morning and am determined to stay in good health so I can get this boy to where he needs to get to! Our grandson does know we are "there for him" and we repeatedly say, "I love you no matter what." He gets it--thakn goodness. On the other hand there are some limitations. We were church "greeters" yesterday and he just didn't want to do it. As much as I wanted him to be with me and my wife as a family greeting arriving folks, he just wasn't there yet. We didn't push it.
There is no question that when grandparents are raising a grandchild or several, the church is part of that important extended family. I think every person in our church--a UCC one--knows our grandson and what we are doing and the support has been truly wonderful for all of us. Thanks for writing--this is my very first reply to new voice out there as I start this blog. Best wishes, G'father
posted by
grafather
on February 3, 2009 at 4:59 PM
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Welcome to Blogit.......
and God Bless You for doing what you're doing........sacrificing for your Grandson!
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on February 3, 2009 at 3:51 PM
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Hi, Grampa! I'm a gramma and I welcome you with open arms. I agree I don't have your situation but I can tell you that I love my grandchildren so deeply. I have thought of your situation and what I would do (I do know another gramma that took on two granddaughters from a drug addicted son, and raised them.) That other gramma shared some of her trials but mostly it was love and a faith in God that kept she and her husband going. You and your wife are awesome and that little boy may sway a bit along the road, but he WILL always come back to you (I think it's around age 25 for boys.) :) Hang in there, share your world. We'll be here and will offer as much encouragement as we can. Also, might I suggest your school district's counseling office (I am a secretary in one). There are many, many services out there for families. Get in touch with someone who can offer you some guidance. You have a lucky grandson and he is lucky you and your wife were there to step in and love him. I see so many kids and families in crisis. You'll probably have a few, but haven't we all? You'll make it.
posted by
BetsyLewis
on February 3, 2009 at 3:40 PM
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from one grandfather to another -- welcome -- I hope you like it here
posted by
Xeno-x
on February 3, 2009 at 1:41 PM
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