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I really like the way you do this - I feel as if in a boat on a current in the ocean and being rocked ever gently by the waves.
posted by
Smittenheimer
on November 10, 2008 at 9:39 AM
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This running haiku thing is really good! Excellent work!
posted by
teddypoet_TheGoodByeFade
on September 28, 2008 at 5:14 PM
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A beautiful love story in Haiku, wonderful.
posted by
Brickhouse
on September 26, 2008 at 8:15 PM
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almost read 1st line as "you drink me in my swim" which I thought I would have liked more because i would have already been dispalced because maybe i don't like being set up in a logic, and like being some other place too--though I did like how you set up your sentences "as thought" while I was perceiveing the other (which you had already seemed to communicate to me) ...so anyway I'm lost because that's home for me, because I really like the intention (whatever that is) how not to write this fabric of something (and if you don't, who will?) But is the fabric of thought meant to cover our existence?
Just a thought, but I'm not supposed to be here anyway. (Well, not in that thought process)
John
posted by
jfm32
on September 19, 2008 at 5:04 PM
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I love the imagery and poignant plea within this running haiku! sam
posted by
sam444
on September 17, 2008 at 8:33 PM
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Excellent!!!! Amazingly well written . Both content and metrics in perfect harmony. Bravo!!!!
posted by
Sinome
on September 16, 2008 at 8:16 PM
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