Go to Briar Prose: fiction and poetry
- Add a comment
- Go to poems of Frigidty: Summer Night
Re: Luz, could this be burial at Sea? --Bhaskar
it feels like one. the painting that inspired it looked oddly sad and yet blissful, with four people by the seaside. they look sombre, or as if they had just come from a sombre event, and yet the two women are dancing...thanks as always for your readership
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 18, 2008
at
4:10 AM
| |
reply
NiteTide and Lionreign
Thanks again for reading
I'm proud that you think it's clever
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 18, 2008
at
4:08 AM
| |
reply
Very clever
and yet somehow it also makes me feel incredibly sad. Very well written
posted by
lionreign
on
August 18, 2008
at
2:40 AM
| |
reply
Luz, could this be burial at Sea? I don't remember.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on
August 18, 2008
at
12:15 AM
| |
reply
This was simply stunning! Extremely well done, Luz.
posted by
Bhaskar.ing
on
August 18, 2008
at
12:10 AM
| |
reply
Clever......VERY clever! Loved it much!
posted by
NiteTide
on
August 17, 2008
at
11:04 PM
| |
reply
Re: Re: BWC comment
xylophone... xenon... xenomorph... x-ray... Xanadu might be a good one!
posted by
Ciel
on
August 17, 2008
at
10:44 PM
| |
reply
Luz Briar
Everyone including you is so smart. I never got onto it was an alphabet poem until I read some comments luv. Old age sucks, I have to blame my lack of understanding on that. But hey girl, how about xerox for the x words.
posted by
WileyJohn
on
August 17, 2008
at
9:45 PM
| |
reply
Rumored
the X line is still driving me nuts! i hate it! thanks for reading
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 17, 2008
at
9:15 PM
| |
reply
Luz, this is quite the alphabet poem (so many poem types I've got
away from, most of my "poetry" is more prose)...I'll have to try the alphabet style again soon, just for practice sake....
(that "X" line would have driven me nuts...:)
posted by
Rumor
on
August 17, 2008
at
8:19 PM
| |
reply
Re: very nice....
Thank you, OnRain
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 17, 2008
at
7:36 PM
| |
reply
Re: BWC comment
Thanks, Ciel, for the honest critique. this one was never one of my favorites. i hate the X line especially. the original line was
"X will never have you in woe"
meaning, X as in infinity. needless to say, i never did an alphabet poem again because what's the point when you get all the way and then you reach the damn X
and nobody uses X words except maybe Xenophobia.
i guess it's all about experimenting.
I'm enjoying the HERETICS very much, and that's what's got me hooked!
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 17, 2008
at
7:35 PM
| |
reply
Re: This is breathtaking
Thanks, Bel!
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 17, 2008
at
7:32 PM
| |
reply
very nice....
posted by
9STAR
on
August 17, 2008
at
7:30 PM
| |
reply
BWC comment
The thing about form is that you have to work at the words and wording, to achieve success. To do an alphabet poem like this, using the entire alphabet is especially challenging, when you get to 'X' and here, the use of a word so obscure just to fulfill the form just doesn't quite work.
That out of the way, on the rest of it, you have achieved the goal with beauty! I was really impressed with how well the words and images flow despite the form's requirements.
There was one little sticky spot: "orb" rarely works outside a Victorian style. Oh, and with spiders... 
Thanks, Luz, for all your really encouraging comments over in THE HERETICS. You are keeping me going more than anyone, in continuing to polish up and post the chapters!
posted by
Ciel
on
August 17, 2008
at
6:55 PM
| |
reply
This is breathtaking
posted by
Bel_
on
August 17, 2008
at
5:19 PM
| |
reply
Summer Night
Inspired by a romantic painting I saw. I've forgotten the title and the artist, I'm sad to say, but the painting was of a beach at night. There were two women dancing together, and two men sulking in the shadows. The artist may have been John Constable, or J. M. W. Turner. If there are any art experts here, maybe you can tell me what painting I'm thinking of.
This is an alphabet poem.
posted by
Luz_Briar
on
August 17, 2008
at
2:44 PM
| |
reply
Copy (or write down) this comment's web address (URL), which is:
Next, go to the email or web page where you want to link to this comment, and paste
(or type) the web address.
