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Re: I can identify with this
Greenfields, I was a relatively young parent, and looking back, I see I did a lot of growing up along with my child.
posted by
Cynthia
on March 19, 2008 at 5:01 AM
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Re: cynthia, while all progressive parents were allowing their children to
Benzinha, I like your approach and I'm glad it worked for you. Parental engagement is the key.
I confess I was a very ill equipped parent. I just tried to do the opposite of what my parents did. Luckily, in the end, my daughter turned out fantastic and we have a loving, intimate, relationship. - In spite of all that went before.
posted by
Cynthia
on March 19, 2008 at 4:59 AM
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I can identify with this
while my teenage son never had a party in the house, I think they look for places where there are no rules and boundaries. And, in our house, there are. However, it's a tough one. I remember when I was that age, in college. We appreciated being in homes where we could drink, make out in the dark and not have to worry about grown ups being around. You did right and don't feel too bad. It's all part o growing up,as I tell myself.
posted by
Greenfields
on March 17, 2008 at 8:13 PM
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cynthia, while all progressive parents were allowing their children to have
parties while they stayed in their bedrooms watching t.v. and not bugging anyone, or went to a movie, or whatever was cool in the 70's, 80's, I did not, could not.
You want a party, fine, I am all over that party and I am in charge. I find the hidden beer in the alley, in the bushes, near the pool, I turn on lights that are turned down for kissing rooms and I empty bedrooms of people who are not playing Scrabble or something. "Circulate and to the dance floor, everyone," were my phrases, taken directly from my father at my parties in Rio in highschool.
I am not the police, but it is my house, my daughter or son, my reputation, my conscience and they still wanted parties at our house, even when I would walk by children, beer six packs in hand muttering to myself as I tried to dispose of it where it could not be retrieved.
My house was the after school hang out. I think it was the full pantry and BBQ near the pool and having MTV which many homes did not have, that attracted them all. But, I made them discuss Planned Parenthood visits and drove them there if they admitted to having sex.
The idea that parents would leave the house in the 80's amazed me. My dad broke up Other People's parties in my youth. Guess it's in the genes.
You are lucky that the police didn't greet you at the door that night. Amazing how the kids grow up just fine in spite of freedoms and wildness and experimentations.
posted by
benzinha
on March 17, 2008 at 5:04 PM
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Re: BC-A this event actually happened
quite a few years ago. It's a chapter from my memoir. The party was long cleaned up. My daughter graduated from college, then nursing school, is married with two adorable little girls...I got lucky...
posted by
Cynthia
on March 13, 2008 at 5:05 AM
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Re: That's amazing that no one checked on their kids...
Ginnie, and these kids were from middle class and upper middle class families, not street kids or run aways...
posted by
Cynthia
on March 13, 2008 at 5:04 AM
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Re: sam444 - I was pretty shocked by
the whole thing...guess I was being a bit stupid, pretending not to see stuff that my own daughter was doing.
posted by
Cynthia
on March 13, 2008 at 5:02 AM
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Now clean up the kids' party stuff. Let's get on with our lives, love!
posted by
BC-A
on March 12, 2008 at 5:56 PM
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That's amazing that no one checked on their kids...
...sad stuff and very foolish!
posted by
ginnieb
on March 12, 2008 at 5:34 PM
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Pretty gutsy to bring beer to the house! As far as parents not checking on their kids, I wish I could say I am surprised but I went through this with my kids' friends and one literally lived with me for two years. sam
posted by
sam444
on March 12, 2008 at 5:13 AM
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