Go to Divorce Therapy
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- Go to Even my Psychologists Thinks I’m a Loser
Pat_B
I do want to change some very specific aspects of myself, if not, then I'm just going to probably get worse!
He didn't make me believe I'm a loser, he just pointed some things out that we are going to work out together, I guess, or that I eventually need to work on...
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 12:57 PM
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richinstore
I hope so!
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 12:54 PM
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riri0322
I already know the answer to that but I'm still finding it hard to change
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 12:53 PM
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Can you change? Actually you can't avoid changing. Brains develop
well into mid-life, and new experiences layer over previous ones. It's kind of a bricklaying process. Change happens naturally whether you want it or not.
However, if you feel the need to make specific changes, it might be wise to pick one thing and work on that until you get it the way you want it. I have this tendency to bite off more than I can chew, and sometimes that overwhelms me and I lose ground instead.
Oh, BTW, if your psychologist made you believe he thinks you're a loser, you need a different counselor. This one is counter-productive.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 5, 2007 at 10:47 AM
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le divorcee
i agree with riri...we're never too old to change.
posted by
richinstore
on October 5, 2007 at 8:41 AM
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we are never too old to change-- if we want to
ask yourself why your so needy of others-- maybe the answer will suprise you and you can in turn give that to yourself.
posted by
riri0322
on October 5, 2007 at 8:37 AM
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White_Elephant
Oh, I know that at the end it is me that has to change myself but going to this Psychologist has helped me. I have an AA in Psychology and that was going to be my career if I hadn't gotten married. I guess I can still go back to college but it's not easy with a full time job etc. I believe that a professional can help you help yourself. Know what I mean?
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 8:02 AM
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Whysper
How did you manage it? The problem is that I've been like this my whole life.
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 8:01 AM
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FineYoungSinger
I guess I'm not doing that bad, right? LOL. That is certainly good advice...
Are any of these tools hammers to hit yourself in the head repeatedly until the loser thoughts spill out? 
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 7:54 AM
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Le Divorcee
A complete turn around is almost impossible! ... but you can focus on small improvements and NEVER look back! ... you can start working on the "low self-esteem" bit and improve on it - I think you'll feel a whole lot better if you do! ... of course, there will be times when you feel as though you're back to square one - but who doesn't? even the most self-confident person in the world will tell you that he/she has been through this at one point ...
P.S. - This is just my opinion here ... but I think you can loose the psychologist too - you can get through this by YOURSELF! I never quite figured out why people go to psychologists if not to be told what they knew all along ... and you are the one that has to do ALL the hard work anyway! Because only YOU can change things NOT a psychologist!
posted by
White_Elephant
on October 5, 2007 at 7:54 AM
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Sure you can change, I did
Six months ago I was a pitiful rag wallowing in low self-esteem. Now I a brillo brush of narcisism. Change is wonderful. I'm still effed up, but at least it's different.
posted by
Whysper
on October 5, 2007 at 7:52 AM
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Re: le divorcee
This is a common thinking about psychology--that there are "answers". Psychologists give tools to help you find the answers within yourself. They're not mind readers. How can they have answers?
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on October 5, 2007 at 7:49 AM
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Honey, take it one step at a time.
Pick a trait on your list that you know you can overcome, and work at it. Create for yourself a series of successes, and you will rebuild your self confidence before you know it.
This is all normal, after the horrible experiences you've lived. You are doing great!
posted by
FineYoungSinger
on October 5, 2007 at 7:47 AM
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White_Elephant
Well, he thinks I can change but so far I don't see how that is going to happen. I have been feeling a bit better lately, but a complete turn around? It's kind of hard...
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 7:39 AM
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le divorcee
I don't think you have a very good psychologist if he didn't give you an answer to your questions
posted by
White_Elephant
on October 5, 2007 at 7:37 AM
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MandaLee
I hope so
posted by
le_divorcee
on October 5, 2007 at 7:33 AM
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You are not a loser! God has special plans for your life.
posted by
Amanda__
on October 5, 2007 at 7:31 AM
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