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One Betty....
Please do not apologize for such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this. It was a gift. God bless you and your sons.

posted by Justi on October 6, 2007 at 7:10 PM | link to this | reply

If majority rules this to be a soap box,....

...make room for me!  I raised two boys as a single mother, from the ages 4 and 2.  I was fortunate to have, somehow, been blessed with the ultimate gift of burden.  The burden of responsibility to "own up" to the decision "I" made to become a young mother.  No one forced me to have children.  It was a decision I made, on my own.  At 24 years old, I was faced with an unexpected change of plans - divorce.  I was uneducated and completely inexperienced in the workplace.  I come from a humble, middle class upbringing, so supporting my children financially was something I was not prepared for.  But, I realized that, no matter how unfortunate, how unfair or how impossible my broken plan seemed to be, I had no one to blame or question, but myself.  As you say...there, but for the grace of God, go I.  I don't know why I was fortunate enough to have been blessed with the best lesson in parenting, but I do know it was a gift and I could have just as easily found myself in the same, negative position so many young women do.  With that, I found myself understanding an obligation that I had to the children I "chose" to bring into the world, as well as an obligation to the world I would someday launch them into.  So, thankfully, I was able to do the very best I could, as a parent and good citizen, simply by always keeping my #1 priority in place.  Dating, playing and career choices were all based on the impact it would have on my children, without fail.  In retrospect, even though I took a career path that sacrificed all creativity and dreams I once had, I was able to provide a fine existence for my children with no public assistance or financial family support to speak of.  And, even though I may have missed an opportunity to find another boyfriend, husband or father figure for my boys, I have no regrets.  My sons are 21 & 23 now and they've grown up to be very loving, caring and beautiful souls.  I was fortunate enough to be an exception to the rule and without so much as a high school diploma, have been able to achieve a very respectible position and financially rewarding career in the mortgage industry.

I am proud of myself, my sons and my life - but I never lose site of the fact that I was simply fortunate to somehow be driven by that burden of responsibility to my children and society.

Thanks for posting such an important subject Appologies for the lengthy comment - it just came out as I began to ponder and reflect.

posted by OneBetty on October 6, 2007 at 1:42 PM | link to this | reply

Taps
I am only walking in my calling as you and many, many other Christians do. I am nothing special and do nothing special. God does things through me. I do sincerely appreciate your having respect for me, that from you is golden.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:15 PM | link to this | reply

Nautikos
I do understand what you are saying. I don't think it is sympathy she needs, it is help and instruction. Had that been me at that age with that kind of money I certainly can't say what I would have done. Parenting is difficult enough  without all the  extra attention.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:12 PM | link to this | reply

Troosha
People have no clue until they have tried it. Being rich to a normal point is a tremendous help if the parent or parents have a head on their shoulders. The other side of that coin is a very hard road to walk. Been there done that and danged Tee Shirt wore out totally. Thank you for the wonderful comment.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:09 PM | link to this | reply

Wiley John
Forgivness is not always understood. It is a necessary act! Thank you for the sweet comment.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:07 PM | link to this | reply

Afzal
The youth in all countries are the future and should be watched, encouraged and guarded a bit if they are a detriment to themselves or others.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:06 PM | link to this | reply

Lou
Thanks lady.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:04 PM | link to this | reply

Kabu
I do so appreciate your kind comment.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:04 PM | link to this | reply

rich in store
Thank you.

posted by Justi on October 3, 2007 at 3:03 PM | link to this | reply

I think you are wonderful, Justi
There are so many women that need help of one kind or another and I have a lot of respect for you for doing what you can.

posted by TAPS. on October 3, 2007 at 1:13 PM | link to this | reply

Justi
I feel sorry for the kids, of course! Britney Spears? I just have no use for her and that whole tribe of mindless bimbos! I have a limited capacity for sympathy, and I ain't wasting it on her...

posted by Nautikos on October 3, 2007 at 1:01 PM | link to this | reply

posted by Matie on October 3, 2007 at 12:18 PM | link to this | reply

Justi

There are no hand books on How to be a Mother – most of us use the lessons we gleaned for our own mother and in some instances that may be more of a detriment than a benefit. Financial adversity plays a huge role in one’s capacity to be a good mother. I’m not suggesting you have to be rich but if making ends meet and putting a humble meal on the table is difficult (or God forbid impossible) the shame and frustration must be unbearable. On the other side of the spectrum, while raising my daughter I witnessed families who had handsome homes, fancy cars, and two working professional parents. Children of these families were often lonely and acted out in a negative way. Parenting is the hardest job. We want to provide as best we can, hope to instill good values, and want our children to feel loved. It’s a difficult juggling act.

posted by Troosha on October 3, 2007 at 9:28 AM | link to this | reply

Justi
Quite right luv, a wonedrful post and yes, forgiveness is so very important for all we humans.

posted by WileyJohn on October 3, 2007 at 8:07 AM | link to this | reply

posted by Offy on October 3, 2007 at 6:30 AM | link to this | reply

I agree with your closing statement which speaks volume of your wise
concern for youngsters .

posted by afzal50 on October 2, 2007 at 10:03 PM | link to this | reply

Hi and thanks

Thanks for discussing life.. good thoughts.

Lou

 

posted by Cameraeye on October 2, 2007 at 9:28 PM | link to this | reply

No soap box here....just a very wise blogger.

posted by Kabu on October 2, 2007 at 8:55 PM | link to this | reply

hi, justi
take care.

posted by richinstore on October 2, 2007 at 8:11 PM | link to this | reply