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It's good that your son is okay now. He will be fine. My sons were
so active and into sports and active games there were always bandaids and little scars and bruises. You could watch him every minute of the day and if he's a typical boy he'll still have mishaps. You need not feel guilty or accuse yourself of bad mothering -- there's only so much you can do.  And you should also "mother" yourself a bit, take some time to work on your arts and writing. It sets a good example for children to have a happy, creative and fulfilled mother -- and they'll resent you eventually if you sacrifice all your joy in life to focus on them 24-7. 

posted by Pat_B on May 29, 2007 at 7:16 AM | link to this | reply

lindo
I'm sorry that this happened.  I am several days late reading it, so I hope that your son is healing well and that you are feeling less guilty about it.  I definitely know how you feel.  I raised four boys and no matter how I hovered over them, they had some pretty horrific injuries.  You do the best you can and you learn from the bad things and that's about it.

posted by TAPS. on May 28, 2007 at 9:34 AM | link to this | reply

So sorry to hear about the accident . Mothers feel strongly about kids
getting hurt because we feel so responsible for them.  This is natural.  I felt guilty when my baby died in the womb even though I did nothing to lead to this. No matter how vigilant we are or how much time we spent with our kids accidents and bad things will happen to them  Dont be so hard on yourself.  You need your own time and space.  If you are contented and fulfilled you will be a better mum.

posted by proc on May 27, 2007 at 2:19 PM | link to this | reply

lindo
Just don't worry at all. These things keep happening, more often with children, and nothing can be done about them. That's how we all grew. Take that notion of being a doormat or an overprotective mother out of your mind. Everything will be all right. All the best.

posted by Bhaskar.ing on May 26, 2007 at 10:10 PM | link to this | reply

lindo
Very sorry to hear about the accident, but these things happen. When I was a kid we had a huge swing in our garden, and I remember being on it, swinging high, and my little brother, who was about three at the time, came toddling into my path...I'll never forget the sreams, and the blood, and my terrible sense of guilt - we rushed him to the hospital, they stitched him up, three stitches on his brow, and an hour later he was happily toddling around the garden again, and I stayed off the swing when he was around...

posted by Nautikos on May 26, 2007 at 4:40 AM | link to this | reply

lindo
Such an accident could happen to anyone. The main thing is that he will be OK. You will be OK too. It is possible to be all that a mother should be and to also pursue your dream. That is the best example to set to our children that they can balance love and care for our family and friends and we can have our own aims and ambitions. Personally, I think it is a mistake when women put aside every part of themselves for their children. The children grow and move on and mothers must do it too.

 


posted by Azur on May 25, 2007 at 9:05 PM | link to this | reply

Lindo
It is very hard to balance the joys of being domestic with a career. It is doable. You must learn to balance the two with time set a side for both. I understand your dismay. After playing the balancing act  for a while,it will get easier. I hope your son heals soon.

posted by snubnose on May 25, 2007 at 7:27 PM | link to this | reply

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