Go to A DAY OR SO IN MY LIFE! WHO CARES?
- Add a comment
- Go to IS IT CHOICE OR DECISION
the one comment you could always count on from my mom was;
"for every action there is a reaction."
certainly the multitude of options we have today has had a huge effect on how we make our choices, so does the knowledge that overall we're going to live longer. women can have babies at an age when people of yesteryear were already facing their "later years". women, as a rule, didn't work, they do now, by choice and necessity. the changing times have made it possible for single people to more easily raise their children and "homes for pregnant women" are, for the most part, a thing of the past.
it's a new world we're in and there's no going back.
posted by
fourcats
on October 25, 2006 at 10:43 PM
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It is so great that people stay together for a long period...
like my grandparents.. they have been married for 60 something years. They are an inspiration!
Mrs Tanga
posted by
Tanga
on October 22, 2006 at 1:38 AM
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Justi, I agree with Avant Garde and PatB, back in the day, people had
more realistic expectations, did not think about bailing when things got a little hard, maybe some stuck it out in miserable marriages too long because of lack of choice, like my grandmother who had 5 kids to feed and became very bitter over her life, but the alternative is what AG called a "throw away society" people who trhow away good relatioinships or what could be good ones if they worked at it, out of selfish laziness and narcissism, or others. like me, who never married out of a prolonged adolescence but never met any man who was a man I'd marry anyway, until now.
posted by
Blanche.
on October 21, 2006 at 1:34 PM
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Mandalee
That is a good trait especially about your faith. Thanks for reading.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 9:27 PM
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I stick to things tenaciously!
posted by
Amanda__
on October 20, 2006 at 7:50 PM
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Pat B
Thank you so much that is such a good comment. I miss that, what little I had of it.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:56 AM
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Avant Gard
You are so right. We have such problems with staying with anything for such a short period. It is sad.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:55 AM
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Schatz
Thank you, I do appreciate that. It gets tiresome. Be blessed.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:54 AM
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Troosha
Thank you so much for your comment. Be blessed.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:53 AM
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Symphy
So do I dear, but everybody can't stay married to the person they married for many reasons. Be blessed little one.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:52 AM
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TAPS
I agree with your Mom, I also get very tired of staying strong, don't you? It certainly was not a bed of roses along the way, but worth every minute. Thanks for the comment.
posted by
Justi
on October 20, 2006 at 11:15 AM
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Justi, I really enjoyed reading this post even though there were things in it that made me look back at the failures in my life. Life when I grew up was so different from the life of young people today. I'm really glad that I have experienced the whole thing from the late 30's until now and seen the changes as they have occurred. As my mom always said, "It's a great life if you don't weaken." LOL
posted by
TAPS.
on October 20, 2006 at 10:43 AM
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What our grandparents had was expectations to meet.
Adults expected children to learn by doing tasks it took to keep the family eating. They raked gardens and hauled hay and milked cows, they fed chickens and gathered eggs, they wore hand-me-downs and knew they'd get a switching if they went against their parents. And the children were expected to work hard in school, to do their best, and to handle their own affairs once they left home. They were expected to sew a few wild oats and then settle down. They were expected to marry, build homes, raise families. At least this was the case among the grandparents I knew.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 20, 2006 at 9:44 AM
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Justi
We live in a throw away society. That's not a good thing. We need to teach our children to stick it out and hang in there, even when it gets tough. I think that's the key to a better future.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 20, 2006 at 8:10 AM
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I really admire people that stay in a very long marriage...
My aunt and Uncle....nearly 70 years old....have been together since they were 14 years old.....I find that so lovey, and romantic...they are still very happy....it's weird because they are like the same people....does that make sense?
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 20, 2006 at 7:22 AM
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Justi
You don't have to apologize for your writings. Some people never learn what is and isn't about them. I wasn't the least bit offended...I was laughing. Sorry about the experience. I wish everyone would just relax. Seriously, I know I've pissed her off, you've pissed her off and who knows how many countless others she chews out. GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!
I thought your post was interesting and funny. 
posted by
Schatz
on October 20, 2006 at 4:42 AM
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I think our grandparents
married primarily out of logistics - in my case a "good farming wife". But from that, let's hope a true, abiding love was born.
posted by
Troosha
on October 20, 2006 at 12:54 AM
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ladychardonney
You sound like a gem in a lovely setting. Fathers and mothers who set their children up in such a manner are beyond words I have for description. This post was meant to be more of a joke than a serious peice and certainly was not meant as any sort of judgment. I am sorry you have been through such trials. This is exactly what I mean when people tell me it was the choice I made. Well it looks like you didn't have as many choices as you did decision makers for you. Don't let their assumptions of you color your world one bit. Who says all of us aren't disabled? You are a beautiful rose who may have been planted in a garden of blooming idiots.
posted by
Justi
on October 19, 2006 at 8:07 PM
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Schatz
I agree totally with you. This is just a journal I did not mean to make sense of any of it. It was tongue in cheek about text messaging etc., my Mama was born in 1900 I was equating the two. I was saying they were able whether it was decision or choice to get married without all this junk and stay married. I wasn't able to do that. I am sorry I may not be responding to you appropriately. My first comment threw me. I had no judgment in mind whatsoever. If that appeared so to you I apologize.
posted by
Justi
on October 19, 2006 at 8:02 PM
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Passionflower
Did you not see this was about choices and decisions whether one was this or that. Also about the first of the 20th century. I did not even think of you in this. Everything I say or write is not about you, not judging you or anyone else. If I call chickens yellow you e mail me or write a very ugly post about me. THIS IS NOT ABOUT JUDGING ANYBODY.......
posted by
Justi
on October 19, 2006 at 7:58 PM
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my second marriage was a "do the right thing"
that ended in disaster. i am 47 and my father told me that no man wants a stupid woman who can't cook and is ugly - my mother told me that no man wants a woman that can't dress in style - why didn't anyone mention education? i am a child of the 60's and my parents did what "they thought was best". what can you say? i have 2 sisters - i am the disabled one who's recovering - the middle one is the gambler who is always borrowing - and the oldest is the millionaire with no kids. oh well./
posted by
ladychardonnay
on October 19, 2006 at 7:36 PM
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LOL Gutless wonders...
Yeah, I think most people take the 'easy way out' of things they find difficult, but I don't think that it feels easy to them at the time. Besides, it's the text messaging, Mtv and sleep with whomever interests you society we live in that causes such large percentages of marriages to fail, in my opinion.
And I have to say, there is a long list of things women put up with then that would be completely unacceptable to most women in this day and age. If my husband behaved like a 1950's neanderthal, I'd be divorced today. Lucky for me, he's a keeper, and he seems to appreciate me as well.
posted by
Schatz
on October 19, 2006 at 7:00 PM
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You judge us all pretty harshly.
We do what we have to do to survive. It would be easy to slit my wrists. My life completely sucks now. Do you think I deserve that?
What was my horrible crime? Did I drown babies or steal from old ladies?
I've lived my life with integrity and always tried to treat people right. I've loved and cared and showed compassion.
posted by
Passionflower
on October 19, 2006 at 6:34 PM
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