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Thank you Blackpearl!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 9, 2006 at 11:27 AM
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bel,
This is really good. We should all hope to be so fortunate in our relationships and marriages. Really good post. Thanks. :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on July 9, 2006 at 11:22 AM
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Cringe
Believe me I understand better than I would like. As for the game cube....hide it on him!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 9, 2006 at 11:15 AM
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Sorry Bel that should've read
that I hadn't gotten myself back into a position whereby I thought I was worthwhile...
posted by
Cringe
on July 9, 2006 at 11:10 AM
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Bel it's just as well because I was spending a fortune
on clothes, not eating right, and well I hadn't gotten myself back in to a position where I was totally worthwhile except for being a mother to Leone.
He made me feel so good about myself, that I was certain there was something wrong with him, I couldn't believe that he saw so much in me to be excited about.
So I slowly started adjusting to his way of thinking, and now I think I'm marvellous altogether, and I won't be coming down of this damned pedestal any time soon!
Even during the times when I'm complaining about him, I know that it's only superficial B.S., that he'd do anything for me (except give up his game cube).
posted by
Cringe
on July 9, 2006 at 11:09 AM
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Cringe
They sneak up on you and mess up all those well laid plans, don't they?
posted by
bel_1965
on July 9, 2006 at 10:58 AM
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Bel - have a similar story.
I met himself when I wasn't looking, and I'd come out of a bad relationship 6 months earlier.
We knew after a few weeks, neither of us was going anywhere.
posted by
Cringe
on July 9, 2006 at 10:55 AM
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You shouldn't settle Spudnuts
You are worth everything you want and more. Accept NOTHING less!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 9, 2006 at 10:34 AM
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This is good advice and exactly what I plan on doing next time around!
If there is a next time. The fling thing isn't sounding half bad, though after ten years of faithful marriage!
I will never settle again! Congrats on finding someone so special!
posted by
Spudnuts
on July 9, 2006 at 7:45 AM
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Passion
Believe me, there was a time I thought people like me were total idiots. I honestly thought love was a curse word and something other people used to hurt me with.
I was NOT looking for love, I didn't want it or believe in it. God manages to give us what we need when we need it. I have the utmost faith you are going to meet some crazy man who chases hurricanes for fun and such and the two of you will live happily ever after with your two dogs and your RV.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 9:57 PM
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It's just not for everyone...
I have so little faith in so-called True Love these days.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 8, 2006 at 9:52 PM
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But what Passion?
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 9:47 PM
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I'm happy for you guys and really...
Anyone who's in a good, solid relationship. But ...
posted by
Passionflower
on July 8, 2006 at 9:42 PM
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Homegirl
That is their fault not yours. While our husbands may not be perfect, they are also not "just because I didn't think I could do any better." I think too many are more worried about the check in the bank versus the long haul these days.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 4:18 PM
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the thing about settling
is I am finding that people who did are begrudging me for not... settling
posted by
homegirl
on July 8, 2006 at 4:15 PM
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Astral
We will celebrate 10 years this Christmas. Thank you so much!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 3:38 PM
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I'm so pleased for you
It sounds like you both deserve something wonderful. How long have your been married?
My husband and I just ticked over 13 years of marriage (but anohter four years together before that).
posted by
astraldreamer
on July 8, 2006 at 3:28 PM
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Katray
It is a wonderful thing isn't it??
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 3:20 PM
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Azur
Good for them. I know that is easy to say from where I sit but given I settled in my first marriage, I know settling leads to a great deal of regret. I would rather be alone by myself than lonely with someone.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 3:18 PM
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Justi
You are so right. He showed up when I wasn't looking. I had no intention of ever remarrying after my first marriage. I figured Carl would be fun for a time and then we would both move on without regret. I was certainly wrong LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 8, 2006 at 3:16 PM
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Bel
I believe you described what gives way to good relationships. You were not settling for a one night stand, you were not looking for a husband as is described by
what does he do, how much does he make, what sort of investment portfolio does he have and how good looking all those superficial things! You were looking to have some fun with a person who appeared to be fun, nice, sexy, good looking and a good honorable person. Oddly enough I think it turns out really well when you meet some one you can respect and feel protected by you can fall in love before you even know it; sex is always good between unselfish lovers. That is wonderful. I am blessed with a wonderful husband after having been single 12 years waiting for a total package, I got it without looking in the spot where I found it. Appears you did too.
posted by
Justi
on July 8, 2006 at 2:51 PM
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Nice work if you can get it
Sadly not everyone can. I have friends who are single and who are accused of being too picky. But they won't settle. Sometimes there may be a thin line between being picky and settling. A friend of mine recently went it alone as a single parent and is doing brilliantly. She was "termed" as socially infertile. I told her that it was the label they used for someone who won't settle.
You and me are the lucky ones
posted by
Azur
on July 8, 2006 at 1:16 PM
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Very beautiful post Bel!
Truly powerful and uplifting. Without a shared heart of love between two, everything else fades and dies - money, ego, mind blowing sex. Why settle for death when life breathes hope. Thank you so much for sharing.
posted by
Katray2
on July 8, 2006 at 12:58 PM
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