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Sounds like you and your boyfriend have different life goals.
I'd part company in your place, because it does not make sense if you both want different things out of your relationship. Do what's right for you.
posted by
word.smith
on November 23, 2005 at 11:49 AM
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DancesWithWords
You have what I describe as an opportunity. You can work towards whatever you want! You must seize this while you have no ties. Do not hesitate a moment longer. It will be challenging but will give you such a sense of empowerment once you are on you way. How good has it felt to get some freelance writing going? Once you get going with whatever it is you want to do that will give you the same feeling.
As to the relationship this line of yours holds the key in my opinion "if my current relationship fails, I know the most amazing guy in NC" If your boyfriend was "the one" you would not be thinking like that.
If you go to grad school pick a course that you are really interested in.
If there are financial considerations, and there always are, perhaps you may be able to ask you parents to help out at least to tune of what they subsidize now. After all they would be investing in your financially secure future.
Good luck, hold your nose and jump in!
posted by
Azur
on November 23, 2005 at 10:55 AM
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Avant-
How insightful! I do think of that from time to time... I wonder when I will be sure?
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:31 AM
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Ben-
thanks, you are so right. This is why the decision is so tough! Well, it's not like I have anyone who wants to marry me soon or start a family now, so I guess it comes down to saving money or going to grad school... what a tricky choice!
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:30 AM
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Jo-
thanks, I think you guys are right about the chances, but thanks for reminding me I need to know what I want... that is why I think I've been doing the SOS for so long. hehe, thanks!
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:29 AM
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TF-
Taking a chance! What a grand idea! Thank you. :) I'll let you know when I figure out which chance I'm taking...!
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:28 AM
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M-W
Thank you! I have to keep that in mind as I struggle to find myself and the life I've always dreamed for me.
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:27 AM
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Cent-
Thanks- your comment really woke me up! That isn't harsh at all, just honest. And what I needed to hear.
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:27 AM
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Wow, thank you everyone!
This is incredible! You've all given me such good advice and I really don't know where to start. Perhaps I should earn enough money to do something about the situation. I've got big plans and I just don't know which ones I should follow... I'm "successful" in my mind, as a freelance writer. I'm just not making a heck of a lot of money and have relatively nothing to call my own. I do want to have a family but I can't say I'm 100% ready for that. I just worry that if things don't work out with my current relationship, I'm back to square one.
But maybe a real-life adventure is just what I need!
I'll keep studying those GREs and let you guys know the moment I take the first step into an adventure! Thank you all so much~
posted by
DancesWithWords
on November 23, 2005 at 7:26 AM
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It is easy
To give advice. The only thing I can say is that if you're unsure, you don't really want it.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 23, 2005 at 5:54 AM
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This is a tough cross roads in life. You can't have everything in the package. If you want to make money, then live with your parents and continue in your comfort zone. If you go to grad school or get married or raise kids, prepare to struggle. Good luck.
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on November 23, 2005 at 4:09 AM
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People who take chances, are generally more successful
I agree with that comment,
Only you can know what you want though.
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on November 23, 2005 at 12:38 AM
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Kids are a major issue and I'm sure that other issues will pop up. If you're not happy, go for a change and make it happen. People who take chances, are generally more successful. Comfort doesn't get things done.
posted by
ThomasFranklin
on November 22, 2005 at 11:47 PM
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Dances
First...BREATHE!!! You sound terribly stressed. Next, never settle for less than what you want.
posted by
Bel_
on November 22, 2005 at 11:14 PM
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Dances,
Hope that doesn't sound too harsh. It's not meant to. 
Cent
posted by
Cent
on November 22, 2005 at 10:24 PM
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Dances,
Tough decisions to make, but ... If you are not happy, and not doing what you want in life, and the boyfriend is quite satisfied with the status quo, well, it's time to shake things up. At your age, and being unmarried and unhappy, living with Mom and Dad, it's time to go your own way and find your happiness. Cut the BF loose. Travel. Go see your old guy friend, take some time off (can you write and freelance anywhere?), get out of the house and spread your wings. What are you waiting for? Old age?
They say you only get one chance in life, go live it. Nothing worse than having regrets later in life. What is holding you where you are? A boyfriend who won't commit? Mom and Dad? Finances? Job commitments? Baloney. It is you. You're scared. Take the leap, get off your butt, and take some chances in life. Do things that make YOU happy! Don't live your life for others. That comes later when you make lifetime commitments and have kids.
For now, remember, no one is here on earth to make you your happiness, that lies within you and only you. If you are not happy in your current situation, change your situation. I am happier than I have ever been in my life, living in a country far far away from where I was born and raised, with a foreign wife, a completely different life, new friends, new work, and I have found what I was always looking for ... happiness. Not saying you need to move 10,000 miles from home to find happiness, but you do need to get out there and go for it.
Just my humble opinion.
Cent
posted by
Cent
on November 22, 2005 at 10:21 PM
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