Comments on I Explain My Wantonness - Once

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renigade3
Sorry I'm late in responding...I was on the road.  You just made writing it worthwhile...thank you more than you will ever know.

posted by Krisles on May 31, 2005 at 5:08 PM | link to this | reply

Krisles--What a story. Thanks for telling it. You remind me so much
of my own mother--and so does your hubby's mother.  Funny, but I never really looked at it from her side before.  I was that little girl who spent her childhood in her room.  I grew into an angry woman.  I've let go of alot of it, and you just helped me release the last bit.  Wonderful post.

posted by Renigade on May 30, 2005 at 7:14 PM | link to this | reply

Ca88andra
Thank you so much for your kind words; you are wise enough to know what they can mean to me and I, too, believe but I gain so much from the support.

posted by Krisles on May 27, 2005 at 8:58 PM | link to this | reply

This post was so sad, but your words do show you are strong. You will work through things and find a solution.

posted by Ca88andra on May 27, 2005 at 8:39 PM | link to this | reply

Passionflower
You are so completely right and I know it. What I am doing right now is a major step toward doing that....maybe someday I'll have the strength to break away from my own stubborness...maybe when I finally break through his cocoon I'm in right now...that really is how I see myself.  I've been away 60+ days now and I'll only go back for 30 at the most -each time I stretch it out longer and longer.  I go days without talking to him...it's a start.  I know you're right.

posted by Krisles on May 27, 2005 at 11:28 AM | link to this | reply

I'm so sorry to hear of these things...
I understand the concept of honoring your commitments, but have you been true to yourself? to that wild and free girl inside you? To me, the commitment you have to her...to that independent soul, is more crucial and deserves more honor, than the one you made to your husband.

posted by Passionflower on May 27, 2005 at 10:46 AM | link to this | reply

UsualSuspect (love that name)
Thank you; I know you do.  I wish I had had your courage at your age; I'm have more now but am so dang hung up on this inordinate sense of responsibility which I see as even larger because I didn't leave when I should have....it's a boundary problem I seem to have when it comes to other people, according to the shrink.  But, I'm not going to let him ruin my health or ruin the rest of my life....I will find a way to make lemonade here!  And I will continue to read you for inspiration.

posted by Krisles on May 25, 2005 at 12:59 PM | link to this | reply

Wow. Wow. Wow.
I can empathize with nearly every point you made, except that I did leave and I'm still with the person I had an affair with.  It's not perfect and we struggle with how we got our start (he was married, too), but it's better.  I know exactly what you're feeling when you tell the world to judge you if they must. I've been called every horrible name under the sun because of what I did. I understand.

posted by UsualSuspect on May 25, 2005 at 11:14 AM | link to this | reply

Krisles

We chose different routes. I married my first wife and she had come from a home like your husband did where she had been abused. They kept all the secrets and like you, I suffered for it.

I am happy for my decision to go with the words, "If you love something, set it free............" I am happier she didn't come back actually because she found happiness with somebody else.

And I found love and happiness with my Joyce. I don't believe in hell as an afterlife anymore, hell is this life. Great post luv

posted by WileyJohn on May 23, 2005 at 11:25 AM | link to this | reply

Krisles, this makes my life seem very easy. If he does outlive you who will he lean on then?

posted by Azur on May 23, 2005 at 12:58 AM | link to this | reply