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I have to agree with that , Sannhet!
And with enough basking going on around them, some who didn't realize the lights were shining will start noticing...
posted by
Ciel
on April 19, 2005 at 5:21 PM
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Ciel -
By sharing the limelight, we all bask in the limelight.
posted by
sannhet
on April 19, 2005 at 4:49 PM
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posted by
Ciel
on April 19, 2005 at 10:25 AM
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Ciel...
Well then...we agree completely!
posted by
A_Norseman
on April 19, 2005 at 10:05 AM
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PS, Alf--
I understand how you could see what you objected to in my post-- my thinking could have been expressed a little more precisely in places. In fact, I didn't mean to give the impression that I think no one should be or want to be in the spotlight-- only that it is immature to believe one should own it to the exclusion of anyone else sharing their gifts. It was meant to be about the
competition of being special. It is the need to compete in an unbalanced, irrational way that I say needs to be out-grown. I just didn't say that clearly enough.
posted by
Ciel
on April 19, 2005 at 8:03 AM
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Alf, I agree that some folks are born for the limelight, and are lovely to
see there: I love to be well-entertained by someone who has the gift of performance! But the point I am trying to make is not about that. It is about having the urge or need to be the only one who gets to be there, resenting anyone else taking center stage, or shining brightly. My post was inspired by Metta's post in her blog about an immediate emotional reaction she had, that someone else's success diminished her own. She knew better, as soon as that small child-part in her began to pout and fuss, and that was what she was writing about. It got me thinking about how natural that reaction is, and how unnecessary it is to criticise it-- though it is necessary, for the sake of healthy ego, to balance it with some more mature reasoning. To outgrow the impulse to put out every candle but one's own.
posted by
Ciel
on April 19, 2005 at 7:55 AM
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Experience, you have not offended me in any way! If you feel there is an
issue to discuss, feel free to e-mail me, privately, and we will deal with it.
Thanks for your comment here!
posted by
Ciel
on April 19, 2005 at 7:43 AM
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Limelight
I believe everyone wants some recognision on earth. We all have a desire to shine. But I believe we all are not here for that reason either. I believe we all have a gift to share or experience in life. But we all can't be actors and actressess. But I believe we are our own individual and here for a special purpose. Wether we are for the whole world or for just a few.Their might be a woman helping sick people everyday. The whole world does not see her that way. But a few and those she helps greatly apreciate her as well. I also would like to apologize for any posts in the past that I wrote that might of offended you. I wrote a blog today to speak of the reasons.Thank You
posted by
Experience
on April 19, 2005 at 7:19 AM
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Ciel...
I don't disagree with anything you said in your response...I don't think. But my main disagreement to the content of your post was that I don't think every person that has the "limelight" inclination should outgrow it. I believe in some it is a healthy part of who they are. In others of course it is annoying as hell but I'm not talking about them. So what do you say about that?
posted by
A_Norseman
on April 18, 2005 at 10:59 PM
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Well, Alf, I have never met a child that did not wish for approval and
recognition, and I believe this is a trait more natural than cultural. In fact, it is one of the psychologist Maslov's items on his Hierarchy of Needs: The need to feel significant as an individual..
Culturally, we are taught to deal with our desires for validating attention in various ways, some healthier than others. By culturally, I don't mean that everyone in a particular culture is taught the same way, but there is, for example, in Western society a general notion that it is not proper to toot one's own horn, to put one's self forward, to claim the limelight. It is bad form, not done, we can't be havin' with it, no indeed! It takes a certain kind of personality to overcome this cultural insistance.
Some families reinforce the general rule, others encourage the transcending of it, others just serve up a confused message of mixed feelings and conflicted beliefs.
Personality may decide which way an individual is inclined, but whether that person is shoved one way or the other--and how hard!-- has a lot to do with the results: whether a person is going with their own nature, or against it. The more conflicted we are inside, the more we hesitate on the outside.
Psychologists have argued the nature vs nurture argument since the early days of the discipline, but, of course, it is both: What we bring innately as human beings, what we are urged to by society, what we are taught and encouraged in by family, how we balance our own internal imperatives with those pressed on us from outside. I believe there is also what we bring as evolving souls, as well, though that is certainly not a general belief.
Then, of course, there are also the brain chemistry balances and imbalances that play a role in shyness and assertiveness, and related issues...
Genetics, biology, culture, family, personality ... all relevant factors. I won't push the evolving soul thing.
From my foothold on the Universe, I am viewing this from what I consider a natural human urge to satisfy an innately human need, that in many people gets more or less influenced into that sense of wanting to be the most famousest of 'obbits, the most admired belle at the ball... The one no one else is better than. It is one way to resolve the mix of inputs from all those factors.
Have I answered your question? I'd have made this shorter, but I didn't have the time, as someone else is hanging over my shoulder, demanding his keyboard back...
posted by
Ciel
on April 18, 2005 at 10:34 PM
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Ciel...
HMMmmmm.......I might disagree with you a tad. I think that the personality trait you speak of is indigenous in some people, the same way other personality traits are. Some people are more suited to coping with groups, others are shy, still others are comfortable speaking in public while others are not...some people will forever feel the need to occupy a portion of the limelight. I don't think these people should ever outgrow it, because it is part of who they are. These people might become entertainers, singers, comedians, or politicians, and we need them all. It truly does take all kinds don't you think?
Furthermore, I think simply because a person wants to be noticed and thinks they are special it does not mean they believe themselves to be superior. In fact, It's been my experience that the people that are most guilty of feelings of superiority are those that are the most insecure...rather than feel good about themselves and those around them they try to bring others down to their level by putting them down. What say you Ciel??
posted by
A_Norseman
on April 18, 2005 at 8:09 PM
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It was inspired by yours, Metta!
Shine bright!
posted by
Ciel
on April 18, 2005 at 5:01 PM
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YES!
I went through dealing with these emotions today... your post is so timely!
posted by
Metta
on April 18, 2005 at 4:30 PM
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