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posted by
WileyJohn
on February 17, 2005 at 8:22 AM
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You are right, life is too valuable. You might be moving on, but you take your brother with you, always in your heart.
posted by
Ca88andra
on February 10, 2005 at 2:33 AM
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In your heart, he will always be with you.
posted by
ThomasFranklin
on February 9, 2005 at 11:18 PM
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Mia, he sounds like a very special man.
You wrote a very poignant, bitter sweet post. Thanks for sharing your memories of him with us.
Blueberry beer? Wow!
posted by
JanesOpinion
on February 9, 2005 at 8:40 PM
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One can't stop living
there will always be a hole in your heart but dont let that hole swollow you up because you stopped living and existing.
posted by
StrickGold
on February 9, 2005 at 6:37 PM
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Mia,
what a touching post. I do think we take things for granted sometimes until an experience wakes us up. I understand how you recognize that life is so valuable and saying yes to our family and friends will lead to deeper connections. This too has happened for me, though through different circumstances. I wish you well.
red
posted by
redlunar
on February 9, 2005 at 4:39 PM
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Try to think of the times you did go with him Mia..the times that you laughed so hard together. That's what he remembers too.
posted by
ginnieb
on February 9, 2005 at 4:14 PM
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Yes, I know the feeling...after my father passed away, for the longest time
I couldn't forgive myself for having once promised him to go play pool, and then when that Saturday came, I called him up to cancel... we remember the strangest things sometimes...but just as you know you loved him, and feel that now more than ever, I'm sure he knew that of you too...
posted by
void-is
on February 9, 2005 at 12:26 PM
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Good for you, your brother would want you to live the life that was taken
away from him, not spend it in darkness and sorrow. You should live now for you and him, make the most out of every moment, smell the air twice - once for you and once for him - live for him and value every moment..any other way would be a waste of 2 wonderful lives. And that little girl needs to see that life can be happy again, and that death isn't the end of her world as she knew it. Your mother, I understand to a point where she is coming from. I can not even think of what I would do if I lost a child, I do know that I would want to best for my remaining children, and I would want them to live their lives to the fullest. I would never be angry for them "moving on" (which you are really just choosing to let his life be about his life, not his death). I do think I would go into a horrible deep depression though. So maybe nothing right now will make her happy, and everything will hurt her. I think she is so filled with guilt for still being alive, because we are supposed to die before our children, and guilt that it was just he who died, and not the happiness that surrounded him. I don't think right now she wants any happiness, it probably eats her up with guilt. HOw can I smile, when my child is dead? Please know I am not saying anything bad about your mother, I am just giving my 2 cents..which don't really matter much..lol... I thought about his little girl all night, and still at how unfair it is that a good dad is taken away. My kids dad, could care less about them. He says he loves them, and maybe he thinks he does, but love means having to give of yourself, and provide love and care. He will eat the last freakin popsicle if he hears one of them askin for it.
Sorry this "comment" is so long, I just want you to know my heart is with you , your mother, your family, and still most of all , that little angel. I pray and pray for her pain to not be so bad, for her tears to not fall so hard, and for her heart to one day think of him and it bring a smile instead of a tear. Please hug that baby for me...
posted by
Kiddo75
on February 9, 2005 at 11:46 AM
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posted by
lovelyladymonk
on February 9, 2005 at 11:44 AM
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Mia,
You shouldn't feel guilty for going out more and spending time with people who truly love you. It will take a long time for your mother to work through her grief, but once she does I'm sure she'll understand this. In the meantime, remember that your brother loved you very much. You're so right in saying that life is too valuable and short to let it pass us by. I only wish I could have spent more time with my great-grandparents.
Take your time...The healing process may be a slow one for you, but find your own ways to heal and don't let anyone tell you they're inappropriate. If there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on February 9, 2005 at 11:43 AM
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posted by
man-boy
on February 9, 2005 at 10:43 AM
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I too have passed up many get togethers...
for what ever reason. Regrets for what might have been are rarely productive. The 'what ifs?' are unproductive for you and I am sure your brother had a few regrets of his own.. We all do.
I remember times when I hid from freinds knocking at my door because I was feeling so anti-social or lazy. For years I let the phone ring. I just wanted to read and write and listen to music. And I was stoned on opiates much of the time.
I pray you can continue to trust yourself. Moving on does not mean your brother is forgotten. That just isn't going to happen. Manboy.
posted by
man-boy
on February 9, 2005 at 10:43 AM
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Life is short
Your brother is with you listening to you. I guess we should think before we say. Then we would not have to regret. But there are good times to remember together. More important.
posted by
Experience
on February 9, 2005 at 10:41 AM
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He hears you. Dont hesitate to talk to him in your heart. Love, Vib
posted by
Vibrance
on February 9, 2005 at 10:04 AM
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Sounds like your brother is still teaching you valuable stuff. Mellow
Mushroom...I loved going there when I lived in Athens, eating exotic pizzas and drinking from a fine selection of beers on tap. Its where I learned to love artichoke hearts.
posted by
FreeManWalking
on February 9, 2005 at 9:44 AM
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I agree with you there Mia.
Life is way too short. Make the most of the time you have.
posted by
word.smith
on February 9, 2005 at 9:25 AM
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Mia
I'm so so glad to hear this. I'm %100 sure that where ever he is now, he's happy that through his death you've learned to love life that much more. Think of it as one last lesson he taught you, one that could only be taught through a tragedy such as this. Never forget his lesson =)
posted by
Unidentified_Hacker
on February 9, 2005 at 9:14 AM
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I second what roofpig wrote
I spent far to long dwelling and regreting......its so hard not to.. because you want to rememeber everything about them....but I promise you... you wont forget anything....different times of days you will be reminded of something.....remember the happy times...your brother would have wanted you to ...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on February 9, 2005 at 7:47 AM
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Hey Mia....
posted by
ladyofshalott
on February 9, 2005 at 7:33 AM
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Don't spend your time with regrets; use the wisdom you gained to live your life.
And remember to keep smiling. :-)
posted by
roofpig
on February 9, 2005 at 7:19 AM
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