Go to Total Forgiveness
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Tapsil-T, it is what is
So I guess it is perfect that it seems to take so long.
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 23, 2004 at 12:02 PM
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Yes, Dear
And the weakness of 12 step model is that it makes your God Nature disappear. You are God, You are in charge of you and only you... leave the rest to The OneGod
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 23, 2004 at 12:01 PM
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Won't that just hurt her more, Jim? I know it sounds unbelievable, but I
honestly don't seek to hurt her more. And I am afraid to be drawn in by her physical presence, to a relationship that I shouldn't have. I don't mean to be argumentative here, but my ex was abusive. She helped him continue to abuse me emotionally after I left him, by her behaviors with him, which was his goal, not hers, but done nonetheless. Part of getting over abuse or the acceptance of abusive behaviors is a lot like a twelve step program for substance abuses. You are encouraged never to expose yourself to troublesome situations.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 23, 2004 at 10:31 AM
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Very good post, Sham. The freedom felt after forgiveness is truely
given is unexplainable. It is too bad that it usually takes us years to come to that point of freedom.
posted by
TAPS.
on December 23, 2004 at 10:03 AM
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No the hardness is in our complexities
In actual fact, the truth is VERY simple. You nbeed to visit with this Dee once (at least) so you may determine whether your heart is fully free of the wonds she inflicted. If you feel genuine love and compassion for her as a being who is connected intimately with your own being, then you are done (forever yea!!!!!).
If seing her physically is too much, then just connect with her true being on the inner planes and have a conversation. Be sure to share the limits and boundaries of your forgiveness. EG: I forgive you completely for the past hurts, but I am still not trusting you not to hurt me again... so I am choosing not to re-visit the friendship which shall remain what it is and always was on the higher plane.
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 23, 2004 at 9:59 AM
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I also needed to perceive this as a gift to myself Jim.
And this was a great post. But how do we know when we've achieved true forgiveness. In my case, I no longer wish evil upon the person (although I did at one time), and I hope in my heart that life is going well for them. But accepting them totally is another story always for me. Where does the line exist for true forgiveness? Ah, hubby, some hard questions for you here!
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on December 23, 2004 at 9:35 AM
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Gypsy Redhead,
Thank you ... yes this is true... forgiveness is for our own healing... we really have no place from which to offer some condecending gift to an offender, since we are all offenders and fall short of of God's Glory.
posted by
Shams-i-Heartsong
on December 23, 2004 at 7:48 AM
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Jim...
Wonderful post. I'm glad I read it. I guess I usually think of my giving forgiveness to someone as more of a gift to them. It was nice to read it the other way around. Thanks.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 23, 2004 at 7:29 AM
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