Go to I Make Noises Only Other Freaks Can Hear
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"The words aren't enough"
Is something I most likely say too often, but I feel that it is true. If I'm writing a story and I hit the point where I know that the words I'm writing aren't enough, I stop writing that story. I can't keep going. Often, I can't even revise it. It remains an idea.
Such is the approach most people take to their lives, mysteria. You're exploring territory where words aren't enough - not necessarily words as tools of language (although you have noted that, also) but words in the context of any form of expression. You are expereincing the inexpressible. That is confusing, even to yourself, I suspect.
Take care,
Patrick
posted by
InherentRights
on December 14, 2004 at 9:30 PM
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Sister,
It is funny, isn't it, how the more words you find to express what is happening to you the harder it is to say anything about it at all, as though a word were but some incorporeal surface shattered to the river beneath it. There are words to describe the impression you give, yes - strong, curious, introverted, extroverted, intelligent, dilligent - but these, as you know, are inadequate to say anything; they are as helpless infants thrown into a war of ideas and emotions. Perhaps there are no words to describe you - or perhaps all the words describe you.
I understand your pain in trying to focus amid the wonders of life. That bill on the desk seems so small when you are aware of the world, and how small and fragile it is, and how a fleeting moment can dance in one blink and be gone in another. But we sign the bill, we get up and get dressed, because these are the things required by our nature. I understand your drive to understand, but we must temper our passion, or it will consume us. We must acknowledge that in order to continue searching, we must forfeit some of those things we want the most - devotion, engulfing understanding. I could sit for eternity creating an understanding of such small things, but that is not in my nature. You must take snapshots of your wonder, photographs of everything's past, present, and future, and be able to look at it without losing yourself.
We will always be eluded and deluded, mysteria. But I sense that you are the traveler who sees these things - who notices how the person talking to you is trying to influence you, who notices the specific motivations you have for your every emotion and every movement of the wrists - but wonders what to do with this knowledge. I wonder, too. I have found only that it allows me to choose the influences I want.
Take care,
Your Brother,
Patrick
posted by
InherentRights
on December 14, 2004 at 9:18 PM
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moon
you write very thoughtfully and show me things I may not have necessarily noticed. I am always in the process of identifying myself. So much eludes me. Or maybe it just appears that way. How can I focus on anything when I am dunbstruck in awe so often?
posted by
mysteria
on December 13, 2004 at 8:40 PM
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You just don't realize
how much you are like others around you. You express the things many keep bottled for fear that someone will think them odd. Everyone has those little places within their minds that cause them to worry about their own sanity. Maybe people think of you as little strange or something, but this is usually only because they see themselves reflected there.
posted by
Moondawg
on December 13, 2004 at 5:15 PM
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(((passionflower)))
I am like a little baby trying to tell its mother something, but my communication method only has one or two grunts to it. It is my desire to master this English.language. I accumulate everything I need. And when I am done I will come back home and put the pieces on the table and have lots of time to study them.
I am dilligent in my quest for the total. Thanks fer puttin' up w/ my freaky facade for forever...
mysteria
posted by
mysteria
on December 12, 2004 at 8:41 PM
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I would say you are quite lovely and sweet but a bit difficult to understand at times. (You're a freak, damnit!!! Just face it! lol!)
posted by
Passionflower
on December 12, 2004 at 8:18 PM
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