Monday, December 15, 2008

Chicken McNuggets and Governor Patterson

Sometime like last year or so, McDonalds announced it was moving to all white meat in their Chicken McNuggets. Great. I am about 20,000 in since 1985, now they're gonna use the good stuff? And chickens have dark meat? Where under the ass bone? Just keep them on the dollar menu and keep them at 6... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Wearing a codpiece and eating snausages

Just sitting around in my favorite codpiece eating snausages (the closest thing to pigs in a blanket I can afford right now). Snausages are not bad except for the occasional bone spur or pieces of claw. Tough to get those down. I wonder if this is how Yates got started. At least Walt Whitman would... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My name is Luca, I live on the second floor...

I live upstairs from you. Guess you think you've seen me before. When I'm getting pummeled late at night, do you ignore that bothersome kind of plight? Maybe ask me what it was, how bout asking what it was, just freakin ask me what it was. I've got one question. Why not call the f'ing cops? What... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 10, 2008

They are firing postal!

Of all the jobs to have right now, imagine the HR rep at the U.S. postal service that has to handle the delivery of 25,000 pink slips to postal employees. A postal employee on their best day has at least a 25% chance of wasting the entire floor with an Ak-47 because someone drank their sunny D out... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Hold on, didn't we save the world??

I have a very simple way to solve this financial crisis. Have every country we owe money to (ahem...china) call it even for the US's sacrifice in resources and, more importantly, lives to preserve freedom in this world. The statue of liberty would be wearing lederhousen and the world would be a... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Noontime in bonertown

Noontime in bonertown is the screenplay I've been working on for 12 years. It's a hip hop who dunnit seen through the eyes of a 1970's social reject prone to mistake after mistake, but this boy can dance. Not well, mind you, but he dances anyway. While dancing on a street corner for nickels, he... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sugarlips is here

Yes, its sugarlips. I know you've been waiting. Watching. Wondering when sugarlips was gonna get here. Well he's here. Now I don't know what I'm meant to do or say, but I'm here. While I do feel that false sense of courage held by many that grew up watching sesame street and other muppet creatures... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Hurricanes and Reality TV

As our texan brothers and sisters struggle through a hurricane roughly the size of Rosie O'Donnell's vagina, let us say a prayer for the several thousand tough guys that stayed behind after being warned literally dozens of times. Let us celebrate their decision that know occupies texan resources on... Sign in to see full entry.

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