Random thoughts

Thursday, May 12, 2022


Why do i need a response of agreement when i talk? Why is it when people are listening to me, letting me walk myself through things do i feel the need to pause and wait for some sort of response? I look at them hoping i see a sign that im ok, im right, im wrong, they understand, they are confused,... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 12, 2021

A little about me

If you have read any of my recent entries, you can see that im working through a few things. Ive always found writing to be very therapeutic and my process is very fluid. The things you read are past tense as of now and im currently writing them in a respective manner while trying to put shape to a... Sign in to see full entry.

Not till

He doesn't get the girls for the rest of the weekend. He ignores her attempts to reach out to him. They continue to interact in their same strained manner till fathers day. When she arrived to get them, it appeared they were going to get along nicely. She was on edge but tried to stay relaxed. Her... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

I said No.

Things calm down slightly for the next little bit. He still wants to know why you wont agree to 50/50. He gets upset that he cant convince you to do this. You had discussed it and know in the end it would be good for the children but you also know its not at that point yet. You keep a document... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

The ink is dry. You leave the court house, free.....Well divorced. You have finally after being on hold for three years free to move along and date. You meet someone for lunch. You want to push away the mess of the morning and act normal. You go to sushi and drinks. You even pay, even though this is... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 8, 2021


You get divorced, your world as you know it crumbles to pieces If you are me, you carry the guilt of past mistakes, gut wrenching cant take them back mistakes, they haunt you. Not daily but they are there never far from reach. You let your guilt put you into places you never wanted. Tortured, not... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 4, 2021

My beauty

My beauty, i see you I cant fix you but i see you I tell you its ok I will listen, hurt my feelings its ok You cover your eyes so i wont see the tears I see them You tell me nothing but we know thats a lie You are hurting and i cant fix it I tell you i cant fix what i dont know but do you know You... Sign in to see full entry.

Cant you wont you

Have you looked into her eyes Do you see the tears Have you watched her move Did you see the doubt She is young so young, even younger when this all fell to shit She was once a carefree spirit, easy and fun Now she is old, still young but old with life experience she shouldn't know You call it fair,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

smartest girl in the room

So lets start from the beginning. At 24 i became a stripper. Long story short i had a crappy boyfriend and somehow he/I had convinced me/myself that i couldn't do better. Luckily i wised up but not before i lost 2 babies and endured an incredible about of abuse. I stripped for 4/5 years, in which i... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 29, 2010


So much had changed in her life. One day she was madly in love with a blue eyed boy from lousianna the next she coudlnt keep her hands off the brown eyed boy she had never seen coming. New years had long come and gone. It was a teary eyed mess of confusion and rants. MArry me love me hate you drunk... Sign in to see full entry.

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