Raised By The Common Senseless

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tonsillectomies Cause Sterility

On May 28 th I’m going to get a tonsillectomy. I have been wanting one since I can remember for several reasons. I get sick often and I’m an actor so my tonsils hinder my vocal ability. I’ve researched the procedure and my doctor has informed me about all the pros and cons. Just the other day, none... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Got you stuck on my elevator

My vision of hell has always involved being reborn as a Siamese twin attached to someone who you hate or dislike. Today, that vision came close. I went with Mom and Dad to their lawyers office. On our way there, we got stuck in the elevator. Mom had pressed the ground button when she had meant to... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ain't that funny

As diverse as California is rumored to be, I find myself fighting a daily battle to prove that I am an educated Mexican that defies the stereotype. I’m easily humored by how white people interact with me. For the most part when I get to know them, or befriend them, they eventually come to a point... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Meet the Auntie

This past weekend I went on vacation with Mom and Dad to Oxnard where Dad’s side of the family resides. 22 years later, they decided to introduce me to one of my aunts. The exchange went as follows: Aunt Margaret: Nice to meet you. Vincent: Nice to meet you too. This was the first time I had ever... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Wooden Spoon

There is an awkward relationship between the Mexican woman/Mom and her wooden spoon. My Aunt Rachel used to have a wooden spoon. She’d use it to smack my cousin’s when they were acting up. Not only did she use this spoon for a good beating, she’d still use it to stir the sugar in the kool-aid... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Where do babies come from?

I overheard Mom and the Aunts talk about baby booms and baby bumps many a time. “You see so-and-so with that baby bump? Her belly’s popping out of her shirt and her chi chis out the top.” In fact I thought they were talking about some holocaustic war and the weapon of choice was babies. Something... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Vincent Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar

12:30 AM - I got home from work and noticed that Mom was baking some gingerbread cookies. I of course ask, "Can I have one." The answer is… … … NO! 12:45 AM - Cookie batch number 2 burns because Mom was cooking eggs and forgot. Somehow, this was my fault. I ask once again, "Can I have a cookie." She... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 24, 2008

"Crickets Sing For Annamaria"

About 13 years ago, my Aunt Landlord decided that she wanted to raise foster children. Not because she didn't have children of her own or because she wanted to do good in the world. She did this because she thought it was the fast road to fast cash. I remember her first two victims. Maria and her... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

“CEREAL Offenders” A Tragedy in One Act

FADE IN: INT. The Herrera House - Early Morning Vincent, the loyal youth that provides you with this very entertaining blog, wakes up to hunger in his belly. Soon, he makes his way from his bed to the kitchen only to find that his third box of cereal has been eaten by none other than the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Bye Bye Pizza Guy

While sitting on the couch looking through my mail, Mom decided to engage in conversation. Mom: Did you hear about the pizza guy on the news? Vincent: *Blank Stares* Mom: They shot him point blank. Vincent: *Rolls Eyes* Mom: It was sad. They just shot him… He didn't even get to deliver his pizzas.... Sign in to see full entry.

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