Life without my family - Blogithttps://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/I am working in healing and learning to live without my family. I keeped adairy as my family was dying. I find it to hard to read it so sometimes i just copy and paist. forgiver me if it gets a little personal, it is just my thoughts and feeling when I was going throught the deaths of my family. I love blogit, i get so lonely sometimes and with blogit I don't fell as though I am talking to myself. And as bad as this my sound it is good to read other peoples stories, It makes me feel that life could bemuch worse than it is. I am blessed I just have to find a way to except my mistakes that I can't changeting the fear of God in us, As children, and as wemon. as I have been reading on here, It makes me wonder if you men have any idea the affect you had on us. How even if we are not with you ,you are with us. it has been thirty years and I have never went a day without remembering the feeling of a gun next to my head. or running in a feild as I wes being shot at. The hours of darkness thathourly12000-01-01T12:00+00:00Save your self!https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/651804Here, I believe it depends on the person. The work, or the amount of SS full benefits they had earned, I know you have read a lot of my blogs. If you look back at them.It is different for all. The mother in law I spoke of that spent her last days in therapy, because she was on SS and her check...If you have Special needs children you need to read thishttps://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/651434I feel as though My children have been put on death row! I trusted my Doctor, She told me all bloodwork and labs were fine for three years now. She lied to me. My kids are Mentally retarded, waist test on them, they are not productive. I had someone else read the lab results for me, to prove what...Day filled with sadness. Wendy's Birthdayhttps://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/651096Sunday night I woke and couldn't breath. It was as though I was my sister trying to breath. it was like a nightmare. I woke up with the smell of death in my bed. I have to get ride of that bed. It has been two years Christmas, and stile the memories of the look in her eyes and the sadness as she...In Need of Prayerhttps://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/637197Hello, I haven't been on for a few days. I am very sick, my fever won't break. My white blood cells are way down. I have lost 8lbs, in 12 days. I have been taking meds for three weeks. I still have UTI. dr. called to tell me all test results are in and don't miss my apointment on the 4th. I...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636577was getting I have a secret. Twelve years ago I found myself in my laundry room. It daylight and I was trembling in a corner hiding beside my dryer. I had a couple of hours left until another day would begin. I had just lost my sister in a car accident, and now I have her children, my other...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636576Monday, November 2, 2009 I lost my first sister/ from my diary MY sister called me early in the morning on the 6Th of July. She was very upset, She had just had a horrible dream that there was a tornado and it was just surrounding moms house. she said don't go anywhere, or do anything. something...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636568after longing for a baby for years, and thinking I could not have one. I had my first child a 8lbs, 8 oz. girl I was thrilled. That was the best day of my life. I had a reason to live, a reason to grow up. I would have been a drunk had it not been for her. I was so depressed, I worked in a bar...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636566My son with Down Syndrome's tragidy With the life I was given. I believe in my heart that God gave me this gift of love to help me Indore what was to come. Though I knew nothing of Downs when he was born. I had never heard of Down syndrome.all I knew was everyone was trying to get me to give him...https://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636561depressed in the closit depressed in the closit I have a secret. Twelve years ago I found myself in my laundry room. It was getting daylight and I was trembling in a corner hiding beside my dryer. I had a couple of hours left until another day would begin. I had just lost my sister in a car...One more death, two more on the wayhttps://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/mylifeofpain5168/636292I am Pissed! Why not line us up and shoot us? Ray Fernatt 11/2009 uncle Charles Mcgill 3/2007-step brother alma grant 4/2007-mother-in-law Roy Fernatt 7/2007-uncle Carol Fernatt 8/2007-aunt Wendy Goodwin 12/2007 sister Murle Goodwin 3/2008 father Next - Deanna Ferrell- sister willy Jarred-step dad