Black Tunnel

Chapter Ten- Memories Rush Back For motivational and venting purposes only, I am choosing to share some of my memories. It's said that listing things like memories and past experiences is good for a healthy emotional being. It relieves some of the tensions that you may have had. I guess you understand the purpose of these writings?! I Remember.......the time that I feel in love for the first time....that when I was eighteen, someone finally spoke up and said, "I'm proud of you"....being bullied... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Nine- Religious Aspect Religion as far as going to a public building and showing that I believe in the almighty one never really made sense to me. I mean that I did need to show the world that I believed. I knew God was there; I knew the love was there. Religion in my everyday life is a big part of me. There is still a lot to which I don't understand about the word but I'm learning. I never understood the part of the belief that you try to get saved. Didn't Jesus save us when he died for... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Eight- Yikes! Watch Me Pull Poetry From My Mind I've always known how to draw and write poetry. It has been a huge part of my life and quite possibly always will. I didn't want to put art work in this book but I can give my poetry its dues. I used to write all the time, this takes up my time now. Poetry relaxes me for some odd reason. So this chapter is going to be chopped full of it. Here's how it is going to go. I will write a piece for you and in turn interpret it (So that you'll... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Seven- A Little Understanding Everyone has some sort of past. I'm not really out-spoken with mine. Can you tell? I'd rather write it down so I don't jumble my words. I've been hurt to many times to count. The way I see it is, that your past is always been something that people can throw back at you. The more difficult it was, the harder you get hit with it. I was hurt over many things. It took me the longest time to figure out that if you want someone to date you, you can’t stay friends... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Six Depression Hurts Depression was the null full void in which I chose to call my black tunnel. Did I really want this? Did I want this thing that was reality but in reality made me sick? Am I the outcast? Am I really okay? Am I actually loved or am I just yet another spot of light in someone else's dark world? I used to question things like this and maybe sometimes in the sub-text I still do. When my parents went there separate ways, it was something that affected us all. Families are... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter 5- How Not To Fall In Love After I got out of boot camp, my brother Corry and I decided to move into a house together in the little town we had grew up in through our teenage years. He had decided to move back because he had moved away for some time to live with our mother in North Texas. I'm glad he came back. We had found a house in town that was only three hundred a month. It was great except for the fact that we had the bitchiest landlord on the face of the planet. It was home for... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Four- Time Well Spent Not to skip ahead just a little ways, but the next four years didn't have much importance in the context on these writings. The major things that happened was I had a couple of bad relationships, embarrassed myself a lot, managed to make some friends with a few guys, tripped on shrooms for five hours of school thanks to one of those friends, got felt up with a foot massage to the groin during gym, beat up while in gym, and of course, me and a guy named William... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Three- A Thin Line There is a definite line that is seen when it comes to family and friends. I have felt for nearly all my life that no one understands the things that go on within me. I confuse myself sometimes. I feel out of place when with my family. I don’t understand why either. All this time, all through my teenage years, I felt that if I had a problem, I could work to fix it. I had friends to confide in. I only let very few people know me. My family is left out of most of the... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter Two- Love in Friendship School was a happy medium in my life. I looked towards going there. Sure the work was hard at times, but I did it. Some teachers made studying fun; others were just boring. Third grade was the turn around year and I say this because everything starts to matter then. I can honestly say that I had all female friends. It was always said that a guy couldn't stay friends with a female long, because he comes to a time where he likes her for more than one. So, as time... Sign in to see full entry.

Chapter One- My Life Life to me was one big black tunnel! I had to compare it to something and this is what I chose. I say this for the simple fact that in my mind it makes sense. It was a black tunnel because like one, I felt like there was nothing around me. No one understood what I could put myself through. I had all these emotions that I wanted to express but I couldn't. I still don’t understand completely why I thought this way. My black tunnel had these light spots that would show up on... Sign in to see full entry.

I started this book when I was seventeen years old and it still took me over ten years to finish. Although, I realize it's not the best in the world but it is my own. A great bit of time went into it and it has good meaning. It started out just being a journal that I wrote my thoughts down in, but now it is so much more. Hopefully it is one of a kind. I haven’t seen a book like it. Well, taking for granted, I haven’t read that many books in my life either. There are a couple of reasons why this... Sign in to see full entry.