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Hi, I am a 54 year old romantic, affectionate, woman. I also happen to be a Grandmother and Mother. I am married ( in name only ) but it is about to literally kill me. My doctors have told me for almost a year that the stress of my marriage is killing me. 3 weeks ago I had a mini stroke, it definitely got my attention.
The things that I get pleasure from are traveling, politics, being proud to be an American. I love Disneyland and the bigger the roller coaster the better I like it. I can all through Space Mountain with my hands in the air and never hold on! I have 2 adult sons who have alway been impresssed that their Mom would go on any ride, it didn't matter how many loops, or how scary. Now the joy of my life is 2 wonderful sons their wife and girlfriend and 4 terrific grandkids, my siblings and my belief in God ( a special spirit that different people feel in different ways ) I am a Christian, and I have Jewish forefathers.
I realize that millions of people have to get through life with much less, but I chose poorly, when choosing a spouse. Now I am paying for it at the expense of what should and could be the happiest time of my life.
I was born in Long Beach, CA. I live in Utah, but I still feel like a Californian at heart. When I get away from my spouse and go to California I feel like I did when I was 20.
I have 20 years of experience in sales and marketing. I love to work at tradeshows and conventions. I thrived on meeting total strangers each day and selling them whatever product I was there for. I am happiest with crowds, children to seniors, I feel at peace looking at the ocean. I hope by writing some of this stuff down for others to read I can save just one person from the horrible mistakes I made.
Please, if you read my blogs, I am not exaggerating at all. This is too important of an issue to lie about. Check out who you are dating. It isn't being snoopy, it is your life you are playing with.
I hope that by sharing my feelings I can maybe reach out to others who are going through similar trials and let them know that they are not alone, and whatever they believe in, God or not, somebody out there is watching out for us or we'd already be dead.
Thank you to the readers who feel compelled to email me, this is so comforting, sometimes I start questioning if maybe the problems are me, but he'll even admit he isn't a good husband. I guess all the doctors are right. I think I must need a training manual on how to get out of an adult marriage mess.
I believe that there is a man who would enjoy my companionship, my sense of humor, my love of roller coasters and sharing a candlelight bubblebath. Problem is I am clueless on identifying him. Please, let me know if you find him, have him read my blogs.