I have been writing since I was 4 (according to my Mother), and it has saved my life and the life of others (so I've been told) on many occasion. The ocean is my church, language my salvation. I like animals more than most people and I advocate for them. I do not like to see people taken advantage of and will advocate for them also. I used to be a lawyer in practice, now I am one in theory. I am complicated and spiritual, empathetic and kind. Some say I am high maintenance, but alternatively I am very easy to please and live for the little details of life. I have had a very difficult past, a toxic family, and it’s provided great material with years of reflection. I am now learning to build my own life according to my own terms. I am wondering how long that takes, but I'm learning finally that it's all about the process, not the destination. Still, I do like it when I overcome an obstacle and make something new and solid happen in my life.
I really can get caught up in details, but when it comes down to it I just want to be loved in that...you matter and I think of you...sort of way (by friends, family, a man) like everyone else. I am in the process of getting divorced, but from the marriage came many insights to myself, hard learned life lessons, and a boy who I love as my own. He just turned 16 and now lives away from me, in Colorado, which breaks my heart. He is a brilliant and funny kid and can't imagine life without him. I have three fuzzikids, Petie, Scrapper and our newest goofy little addition, Skeeter (Petie's new BFF -- they are all cats, btw). I am obsessed with hockey and only wish I could get my favorite team on the television here when it isn’t playoffs. I am an honorary Canadian.
My story, the most traumatic and life-changing part is as follows. In 2000 I was rear-ended in a minor collision. I was wearing my seatbelt, but my body twisted in the belt causing the shoulder and back muscles on my right side to detach from my rib cage. Additionally, I went forward – hitting the frontal lobe of my brain – and then back – hitting the brain stem (causing both frontal lobe and vestibular brain damage). I was knocked unconscious. As a result of that, I have a brain injury called Mild Traumatic Brain Injury (MTBI). The combination of the two injuries brings blinding brutal migraines and muscle spasms, among a million other little things... big things... things I don't even know sometimes come from that. It's a long, long learning and recovery process. Additionally, I was no longer able to practice law. Now I deal with daily pain, substantial short-term memory problems, word retrieval problems, inability to sort out details easily. My personality changed, too. I used to be outgoing and love people, being where all the action is, to cook, to be crazy busy all the time. Now, I’m the opposite, but I’m still mourning the loss of the girl I used to be. Trying to figure out who I am now, what I want, and reconciling who I used to be with who I am now. I do not like the pain and the frustration, but the accident showed me the path I was too stubborn to find on my own. Reacquainted me with my spirit and my true self. It was meant to be.
I write to share my path, my victories, and my shortcomings with others because it helps me. The bonus is, sometimes it helps someone else, too.