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 Being, for the most part, adventures in pet care and bartending with a boy and his bird, recounted by the boy, William H. Skip Boyer, with help from the bird, Nevermore.

 

            Edgar Allan Poe’s morose, monosyllabic raven is one of literature’s most enduring characters. Also one of its most misunderstood.  When we last saw the raven, title character of the poem of the same name, he was perched atop a bust of Pallas over Poe’s chamber door.  Throughout his visit with Poe, he had only one line that he repeated on several occasions.  Poe, on the other hand, ranted and raved and was, in general, a marginal host at best.  No offer of a drink, a convivial cigar, even a chair.  The raven, on the other hand, was actually hung over from a wild party with a bunch of seagulls the night before. Seagulls aren’t very bright but they are party animals.  This accounts for his lack of coherence at Poe’s place.

            I know this because the bird, whose name is Nevermore (he was trying to introduce himself to Poe, not offering commentary on Poe’s dismal personal problems), told me.  It all began a few years ago, upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered bored and leery over last week’s TV Guide. Suddenly, there came a knocking, etc. You know the rest. Anyway, there was the bird, clad in vest and tweeds, at my door. He walked in, looked around, boosted a cigar from the humidor on the desk and headed for the bar.  He prefers martinis, by the way, and has a phobia about drinks with paper umbrellas in them.

            But I digress.

            The bottom line is this: He moved into a huge old cavern below my home with a handful of assorted Things and I’ve been chronicling his activities for friends ever since.  Watch your step when you visit. It’s three stories down and the place looks like something left over from the set of Young Frankenstein.  And don’t feed the hydra, please.

            That’s enough.  Buckle up. Welcome to the Chronicles of Nevermore! Oh. About me. Well, I've been writing professionally for 35 years. People actually pay me to do this stuff. I know. It blows me away, too.

 

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