The Quantum Relationship of Husband and Wife

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The Quantum Relationship of Husband and Wife 

Marriage is a partnership, a union of two people committed to each other. In a husband and wife relationship the wife should submit to the husband.

More than submission, it is subjection. Subjection should be out of love, reverence, and respect. One of the most despised and misunderstood words in the English language is the word submission.

 

The Greek word hupotasso is translated as “submissive” or “subjection.” The first part of the word, hupo, means “under.” The second part, tasso, means, “to arrange in an orderly manner.” So what Peter was saying is that wives should arrange themselves in an orderly manner under their husband’s covering.

 

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2).

 

Obedience toward one’s husband will always bring about peacefulness and happiness in the husband-wife relationship since men have superegos and always expect their wives to be obedient and show love and reverence toward them. It is always better that you have a husband as the head of the family. It should be like the family modeled after the family of God. The husband should be the captain of the team, but the wife should not be like a slave.

 

Peter wrote that women should seek “…the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:4). The Greek word hesuchios (hay-soo-khee-os) translated as “quiet” literally means “immovable” or “steadfast.” Peter was saying that when you submit to authority, you should be gentle and quiet. A woman should keep her seat, be still, be undisturbed, be peaceable and silent as in a sense of calmness.

 

Marriage, even under the most normal of circumstances, requires major adjustments. Two individuals of different temperaments may have totally conflicting styles of responding and coping with each other. If they come from dissimilar families this can be a compounding factor as well. Some families are demonstrative while others are reserved. Some fight, others invoke the fight, while others avoid conflict altogether. There are some who come into marriage expecting the fastidious surroundings of their mother’s home, only to find that their partner has a laid-back nature vis-à-vis housekeeping, etc.

 

 The Role of Husband and Wife

 Most often the marital relationship is discussed in give-and-take terms. But this does not automatically solve relationship problems. In some ways, you should consider your partner as you would your child. This will give you much breathing space and help you to solve any problem in a pleasing manner. At the same time, you need to forgive your spouse, as you would your children. By doing so, you keep reassuring your partner and respect his or her thoughts and feelings.

 

A wife should be a person who is very composed and should have self-control. She should be a symbol of unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. A wife should have the chance to express herself freely and be given some privileges. Always a wife is advised to love and understand her husband. Love covers everything. Be willing to serve and not to be served.

 

Peter warned husbands saying, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7). Be considerate as you live with your wives. We must honor our wives so that our ability to relate to God is not hindered.

 

A husband should be willing to do anything for his wife though not the wrong things. He should take up the responsibility to teach the family. Husbands and wives should love each other as one body. To sustain such a relationship, couples need to develop intimacy both physically and mentally.

 

Fellowship and Intimacy in Relationship

 

Some couples are willing to let go of intimacy because they want to have a good bank balance. Money is not the most important thing in life. Money does not bring back joys a person has lost in marriage. Most couples in today’s world give up family life to build up their careers. They spend very little time with their family and children. They tend to spend more time in the office than at home; they spend more time working hard to climb the hierarchical ladder. They forget that their relationship at home is sadly getting worse.

 

The main problem with today’s deteriorating society is that everyone wants to get disassociated from his or her responsibilities. We all want our rights, but few want the accompanying responsibilities. Dr. Cole says, “Maturity does not come with age; it begins instead with the acceptance of responsibility.”

 Love your spouse and cleave to each other as one flesh. Stop comparing each other to your parents, for example saying: my mother was a better cook than you; my father was always kind to my mother unlike you. Such remarks and statements lead to hatred, which damages the marital relationship psychologically. As husband and wife, you need to live in understanding. Most men do not have much knowledge about their wives. They do not know who they are. They do not consider them because they do not understand them.

 Let your words bring joy and happiness to your spouse always. Never be rude, sarcastic, or use words that would hurt your spouse. Constant nagging or nagging your partner over silly issues leads to hatred. This is when a partner can turn away from the relationship.

Try and give pleasure to one another. Use the magic words—sorry, please, and thank you. We often forget that every relationship requires a certain amount of manners and respect. More often we tend to leave our manners and respect for others in the office where we work. When we treat our spouses with dignity and give them respect then we too will be loved and treated with respect, in return.

 

It is not a matter of doing everything humanly possible. Total health requires undoubtedly, a lifelong, ongoing process of healing and thus a steadily increasing wholeness. Nevertheless, in order to successfully negotiate a marriage relationship, there does have to be that basic, initial repository of emotional well-being.

 

Eliminating Triangles—One of the Biggest Challenges in Marriage

In family systems theory, there is something called triangulating. For example, a husband may care more about certain family members than his own wife. He has created a triangle in which his wife feels she is not his primary concern or priority. Triangles are not just formed with other people; sometimes people triangulate work, television, the Internet, hobbies, or exercise into a relationship. Anything that lowers your spouse’s priority below number one status is the result of triangulating someone or something into the marriage relationship.

 

The problem of triangulating demonstrates the psychological genius of Judaism. The sages teach us that special attention and reverence must be given to the first year of marriage. In Hebrew the word reverently is referred to as shanah rishonah. The first year is a critical time for a couple to build initial foundations of trust, respect, and intimacy.

 

The Torah recognizes the implicit difficulty for a husband and wife to bond, as it says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Perhaps the Torah is placing a special emphasis on the first year of marriage to guard against the potential challenge of triangulating. During the first year of marriage, a husband should minimize all travel for business and ask his wife’s permission if and when he must go on a business trip.

 

When couples are having problems, often the source of the problem is the existence of a triangle. When couples have children, the challenge here is not to triangulate children into the marriage relationship. This means that your spouse’s needs must always come before your children’s needs.

 

 

Quantum Relationship

 

As you begin to shift your perspective and release your thoughts about reality and truth, you enter into the realm of quantum thinking. Quantum thinking opens the doorway to quantum relationship. This quantum way of seeing is the antithesis of deterministic thinking. Event A does not cause Event B; rather, they have an effect on one another.

 

There are many Jewish laws associated with the first year of marriage designed to give the new bride and groom every chance to bond and form an alliance like a king and queen. Becoming king and queen means creating an unshakable alliance between husband and wife. Nothing can be allowed to come between the husband and wife bond. In short, your spouse must be your number one priority. There is absolutely no room for compromise.

 

Separating from one’s family of origin and realigning one’s loyalties with one’s spouse is not an easy task. Yet, it must be done before a strong marriage bond can develop between husband and wife. A sure sign that a triangle exists is when you do not feel that you are your spouse’s number one priority. Couples need to make a thorough examination for the existence of any triangles, identify them, and eliminate them. The simplest way to do this is to ask your spouse if he or she feels you are triangulating something into the marriage.

 

We are part of a new energy once we have related to another person. The act of seeing constitutes where we love and what we are looking for. Our partner is, in part, who they are because of the manner in which we see them and what our perception confers on them.

 

The paradox does not lie in reality but in our conception of what reality should be. When we live our lives as though things are fixed, we block the natural wonder of the harmonious dance of all things. Quantum randomness opens us to the limitless opportunity of willful choice, free of pre-determined outcomes. It enables us to script wonder and enchantment into each moment, irrespective of past experiences. We can create new realities in each instant. Quantum relationship honors the magic of love.

 

Wholeness that comes through marriage is best achieved only after one’s own self-sufficiency as an independent human being has been established. As a married person you have a partner in betrothal, and you can confidently and more comfortably present yourself as a complete, whole self. Next, we will look at the issues surrounding two becoming one.

 

 

 

 

Excerpt

 

The Quantum Relationship of Husband and Wife

Marriage is a partnership, a union of two people committed to each other. In a husband and wife relationship the wife should submit to the husband.

More than submission, it is subjection. Subjection should be out of love, reverence, and respect. One of the most despised and misunderstood words in the English language is the word submission.

 

The Greek word hupotasso is translated as “submissive” or “subjection.” The first part of the word, hupo, means “under.” The second part, tasso, means, “to arrange in an orderly manner.” So what Peter was saying is that wives should arrange themselves in an orderly manner under their husband’s covering.

 

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior” (1 Peter 3:1-2).

 

Obedience toward one’s husband will always bring about peacefulness and happiness in the husband-wife relationship since men have superegos and always expect their wives to be obedient and show love and reverence toward them. It is always better that you have a husband as the head of the family. It should be like the family modeled after the family of God. The husband should be the captain of the team, but the wife should not be like a slave.

 

Peter wrote that women should seek “…the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Pet. 3:4). The Greek word hesuchios (hay-soo-khee-os) translated as “quiet” literally means “immovable” or “steadfast.” Peter was saying that when you submit to authority, you should be gentle and quiet. A woman should keep her seat, be still, be undisturbed, be peaceable and silent as in a sense of calmness.

 

Marriage, even under the most normal of circumstances, requires major adjustments. Two individuals of different temperaments may have totally conflicting styles of responding and coping with each other. If they come from dissimilar families this can be a compounding factor as well. Some families are demonstrative while others are reserved. Some fight, others invoke the fight, while others avoid conflict altogether. There are some who come into marriage expecting the fastidious surroundings of their mother’s home, only to find that their partner has a laid-back nature vis-à-vis housekeeping, etc.

The Role of Husband and Wife

Most often the marital relationship is discussed in give-and-take terms. But this does not automatically solve relationship problems. In some ways, you should consider your partner as you would your child. This will give you much breathing space and help you to solve any problem in a pleasing manner. At the same time, you need to forgive your spouse, as you would your children. By doing so, you keep reassuring your partner and respect his or her thoughts and feelings.

 

A wife should be a person who is very composed and should have self-control. She should be a symbol of unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. A wife should have the chance to express herself freely and be given some privileges. Always a wife is advised to love and understand her husband. Love covers everything. Be willing to serve and not to be served.

 

Peter warned husbands saying, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Pet. 3:7). Be considerate as you live with your wives. We must honor our wives so that our ability to relate to God is not hindered.

 

A husband should be willing to do anything for his wife though not the wrong things. He should take up the responsibility to teach the family. Husbands and wives should love each other as one body. To sustain such a relationship, couples need to develop intimacy both physically and mentally.

 

Fellowship and Intimacy in Relationship

 

Some couples are willing to let go of intimacy because they want to have a good bank balance. Money is not the most important thing in life. Money does not bring back joys a person has lost in marriage. Most couples in today’s world give up family life to build up their careers. They spend very little time with their family and children. They tend to spend more time in the office than at home; they spend more time working hard to climb the hierarchical ladder. They forget that their relationship at home is sadly getting worse.

 

The main problem with today’s deteriorating society is that everyone wants to get disassociated from his or her responsibilities. We all want our rights, but few want the accompanying responsibilities. Dr. Cole says, “Maturity does not come with age; it begins instead with the acceptance of responsibility.”

 

Love your spouse and cleave to each other as one flesh. Stop comparing each other to your parents, for example saying: my mother was a better cook than you; my father was always kind to my mother unlike you. Such remarks and statements lead to hatred, which damages the marital relationship psychologically. As husband and wife, you need to live in understanding. Most men do not have much knowledge about their wives. They do not know who they are. They do not consider them because they do not understand them.

 

Let your words bring joy and happiness to your spouse always. Never be rude, sarcastic, or use words that would hurt your spouse. Constant nagging or nagging your partner over silly issues leads to hatred. This is when a partner can turn away from the relationship.

 

Try and give pleasure to one another. Use the magic words—sorry, please, and thank you. We often forget that every relationship requires a certain amount of manners and respect. More often we tend to leave our manners and respect for others in the office where we work. When we treat our spouses with dignity and give them respect then we too will be loved and treated with respect, in return.

 

It is not a matter of doing everything humanly possible. Total health requires undoubtedly, a lifelong, ongoing process of healing and thus a steadily increasing wholeness. Nevertheless, in order to successfully negotiate a marriage relationship, there does have to be that basic, initial repository of emotional well-being.

 

Eliminating Triangles—One of the Biggest Challenges in Marriage

 

 

In family systems theory, there is something called triangulating. For example, a husband may care more about certain family members than his own wife. He has created a triangle in which his wife feels she is not his primary concern or priority. Triangles are not just formed with other people; sometimes people triangulate work, television, the Internet, hobbies, or exercise into a relationship. Anything that lowers your spouse’s priority below number one status is the result of triangulating someone or something into the marriage relationship.

 

The problem of triangulating demonstrates the psychological genius of Judaism. The sages teach us that special attention and reverence must be given to the first year of marriage. In Hebrew the word reverently is referred to as shanah rishonah. The first year is a critical time for a couple to build initial foundations of trust, respect, and intimacy.

 

The Torah recognizes the implicit difficulty for a husband and wife to bond, as it says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Perhaps the Torah is placing a special emphasis on the first year of marriage to guard against the potential challenge of triangulating. During the first year of marriage, a husband should minimize all travel for business and ask his wife’s permission if and when he must go on a business trip.

 

When couples are having problems, often the source of the problem is the existence of a triangle. When couples have children, the challenge here is not to triangulate children into the marriage relationship. This means that your spouse’s needs must always come before your children’s needs.

 

 

Quantum Relationship

 

As you begin to shift your perspective and release your thoughts about reality and truth, you enter into the realm of quantum thinking. Quantum thinking opens the doorway to quantum relationship. This quantum way of seeing is the antithesis of deterministic thinking. Event A does not cause Event B; rather, they have an effect on one another.

 

There are many Jewish laws associated with the first year of marriage designed to give the new bride and groom every chance to bond and form an alliance like a king and queen. Becoming king and queen means creating an unshakable alliance between husband and wife. Nothing can be allowed to come between the husband and wife bond. In short, your spouse must be your number one priority. There is absolutely no room for compromise.

 

Separating from one’s family of origin and realigning one’s loyalties with one’s spouse is not an easy task. Yet, it must be done before a strong marriage bond can develop between husband and wife. A sure sign that a triangle exists is when you do not feel that you are your spouse’s number one priority. Couples need to make a thorough examination for the existence of any triangles, identify them, and eliminate them. The simplest way to do this is to ask your spouse if he or she feels you are triangulating something into the marriage.

 

We are part of a new energy once we have related to another person. The act of seeing constitutes where we love and what we are looking for. Our partner is, in part, who they are because of the manner in which we see them and what our perception confers on them.

 

The paradox does not lie in reality but in our conception of what reality should be. When we live our lives as though things are fixed, we block the natural wonder of the harmonious dance of all things. Quantum randomness opens us to the limitless opportunity of willful choice, free of pre-determined outcomes. It enables us to script wonder and enchantment into each moment, irrespective of past experiences. We can create new realities in each instant. Quantum relationship honors the magic of love.

 

Wholeness that comes through marriage is best achieved only after one’s own self-sufficiency as an independent human being has been established. As a married person you have a partner in betrothal, and you can confidently and more comfortably present yourself as a complete, whole self. Next, we will look at the issues surrounding two becoming one.

 

 

 

 

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