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Our Deficit $17 Trillion...Liberties and Justices for All?

I believe, to really become a great writer, a writer must connect to its reader and a reader to its writer on a deeper level; its a level, I refer to as "under the surface" because that's where the truths usually are: Its not on the upper surface where everything is so refined of artificial of smiles and polite hand shakes top off with million dollar business deals and at the beginning and end of it all when asked... how are you? We simply reply, I'm blessed! The one thing I've dreaded more than death itself while growing up was to share about me not Pendorin, but Lisa!  Because once you expose all your dirty laundry there's no recanting it's all out there for the world to see and therefore, judge... so, I played it safe, continued the smile and stay on the upper surface! HERE'S the irony of my safe story: my doctors and there have been many said repeatedly, I must decide if I ever wanted to get any healing mentally and/or physically from all the trauma, pain and suffering I'd gone through over the 18 years, I would have to write about it secretly and/or tell my story to others and the cherry on this enormous pie...IT COULD HELP OTHERS OVERCOME TOUGH ORDEALS IN THEIR LIVES TO KNOW  WE TOO CAN PERSEVERE AND OVERCOME OUR ADVERSARIES NO MATTER WHAT THE STAKES! Quite honestly, a bullet would have been less painful, BUT THAN THAT WOULDN'T BE LISA THAT'D BE SOMEONE ELSE DEFYING HER ASSIGNMENT FROM GOD! THIS IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION...PLEASE READ ON! 

Today, Blogit Family I need to start healing allow me to write some of my story and "Thank You!"

Have you every questioned your very existence? Frequently, I did because as far back as I can remember growing up I cared so deeply about the concerns and the welfare of others and it wasn't that usually warmth of caring...you know, the care our parents or grandparents teach us, love you parents and siblings above all other type of love. It was care for the old people in my neighborhood; going to their houses and making sure they were doing ok and addressing any needs they may have had. Or, giving clothes to girls in my neighborhood because I had so many and I was without siblings anyway. Working a Summer job giving my grandmother all the money I earned because I believed she needed it and cleaning her house from top to bottom at age 10 so her house would be nice as our neighbors were type of care and I never once thought there was anything odd about my behavior especially since I was so very young to take on this kind of responsible thinking that caused me to care so deeply about the needs of others over my own? At least not until other youth my age pointed out my flaws as: weird, retarded, slow and so on, but not the adults, they were to classy for these juvenile terms; they had stronger words I had to look up in the dictionary such as eccentric or introverted just to name a few. So, I quietly began to rebuke these odd behaviors, that I didn't understand, about me that kept the circumstances of others on my heart because I so wanted to be excepted by my peers towards whom I was already showing signs of odd tendencies with and these attributes continued to pull me apart from the kids my age. Secretly, I spend countless hours with the elders of the community 80-100 years of age, at my grandmothers request, I didn't know at age of 11 that my granny was getting paid for these visits, but I didn't care or never complained about these memorable times with them talking about their youth, family and lives. Often during our visit, I was told: I was not like other children different somehow? Oh no, did they know my secret that I cared so deeply for any sap with a story of how he was down on his luck  and needed the minimal funds in the pocket of a 12 year old or that I always shed tears watching the horrendous news story on the television set or that I continued to give away beautiful things my in and out of the picture mother brought me? Little did she know, the greatest gift she could have given me would have been that of a baby brother or sister to love always and forever more! In fairness to her she tried, but the baby perished at 7 months. If I can give you some history of my mother and me. Gloria was absolutely beautiful inside and outside a deadly combination for women thats a lot of power at your finger tips! A woman can use it gently and love without boaders or she can use it to fulfil her heart and then some desires, I won't tell you which one my mother chose; well leave it a mystery for the reader of my story. There was always a long line of people waiting to socialize with her rather it was family, friends and or other; the line was always long to her, but with love and patients I waited on the line after all she was my mother As much as I had going on with me at such a young age, my mother was the last to know; I figured the line would shorten each day until one day I would be at the front of the line and I could reveal all my secrets to her; however, I stood on that slow moving line for 46 years until her demise and I never was able to tell her my inner most secrets or beliefs

continue tomorrow:pendorin

 

posted by pendorin on August 17, 2016 at 12:59 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Are.....One Nation..Liberties & Justices for All?

 

Good Morning, 

Thank you for your welcome and comment. I too, believed that ideaology; send my daugthers to college and their lives would be better than that of their parents. But I've got to tell you, my daugthers have all graduated and they are in debt up to their eyeballs because they can only seem to land temporary employment towards paying permanent student loan debt. They repeatedly hear, you don't have any experience for this position, but we send them to college as part of the American Dream to acquire this experience employers need! We drill in their heads, go to college, get an education and you will land that awesome employment opportunity because you'll be a college graduate. Because I have 4 daugthers that went to college, I feel better enlightened to speak about the college process; in which, for the first 2 years kids take core classes that have little to do with their major, then in their senior year they're crammed with everything needed now to graduate. The entire 4 years should have been spent teaching them everything needed to secure employment for that career path this would have prepared them and made them more competitive for "REAL WORLD EMPLOMENT!" Today, 2 of 4 daugthers are disillusioned about tomorrow!  

 

posted by pendorin on August 16, 2016 at 9:06 AM | link to this | reply

I would like to welcome you to Blogit. We are a nice little community of writers.

In order to get equality for all, I do feel education plays a big role in that.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on August 15, 2016 at 5:15 PM | link to this | reply