Dr Dianne's Thoughts and Concerns,Opinions, Ideas > Comments on Stages of Emotions at the Loss of a Loved one: Sadness

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Re: I can't even imagine losing a child...A breakdown

Katray, It was told to me many, many years ago that when a loved one depart and there are differences the deceased is not thinking of those negative things. They are loving, have forgiven and has moved on to a higher place. I believe that as most people are dying they are thinking of things that are pure and lovely. I have been told that they see their loved ones beckoning to them as well as a light shining so brightly.

posted by drdianne on March 7, 2016 at 11:49 AM | link to this | reply

I can't even imagine losing a child...A breakdown

would be very understandable. My father's passing years ago stirred alot of negative emotions, in large part because there were so many unresolved issues between us and he died unexpectedly. I had been thinking there was time, when I was ready, for a reconciliation but it was not to be. So of course I had loads of guilt. However, as a person with a chronic, life threatening disease and one who nearly died 2 years ago, my feelings about death and what happens after are greatly changed. For the better and now I am peaceful about my father and dying. Thank you for sharing..

posted by Katray2 on March 7, 2016 at 10:06 AM | link to this | reply

Re:

Justi,

I apologize for the delay in replying to you. I have been preparing to honor and commemorate the birthday of my son, March 3, and his death anniversary, March 7, 2015.

Lord, I do not know what to say. That IS a hand full. You did not say how close in time were these deaths. However, it does not really matter. What really matters is that they are gone and is no longer with you. You said that you have tried to push it all down. Is that possible? I will tell you what I have always told my clients, "It is better out than in". Your daughter is doing a very good thing and I am so glad that it is helping her. If you do want to vent with a counselor, you can vent right here. If this is not private enough I can give you my website. Between February of last year to January 7 of this year I have lost 5 close loved ones. This is not to mention others that I have known for a long time. Where does it end? I started this blog so that I can be able to vent. Sometimes people do not understand. No one understood in my case when I lost my son, therefore, I mostly kept it in and recently had a breakdown. Again I say, "It is better out than in."

Here's wishing you well.

Dr.Dianne

posted by drdianne on March 5, 2016 at 10:55 PM | link to this | reply

Re:

CCT,

I apologize for just responding. My deceased son birthday was March 3, and his death anniversary is March 7, 2015. I have been producing and recording songs that he wrote and recorded into CDs to honor and commemorate him on these dates. Referring to your comment sadness is a form of depression. During a period of sadness and depression both, an individual may experience feelings of helplessness and lack of hope, withdrawal, loss of appetite, excessive appetite, crying spells, anger, loneliness etc. Yes, it can be a miserable condition and feeling.They may even deny that they are experiencing these characteristics. Yes, it can develop into other mental heath disorders such as schizophrenias/bipolar, psychosis etc. It does really grieve most people when a beloved pet dies.

posted by drdianne on March 5, 2016 at 10:25 PM | link to this | reply

I still don't know where I am in this cycle. I lost my oldest son, then my mother, my father, then my only other son. I am an only child and this left my daughter and me. I am not sure where I am in all this She has been in counseling since the first one. She appears to be dealing very well and has a son of her own now. I tried to push it all down and keep going but I am not sure how well I am doing.

posted by Justi on March 2, 2016 at 7:40 AM | link to this | reply

I suppose sadness turns to depression in some cases. Or is even converted into other mental disorders such as O.C.D which is a miserable condition. Of course I suppose one cannot generalise, but I expect most have felt sad when a pet dies. 

posted by C_C_T on March 2, 2016 at 12:08 AM | link to this | reply

Re: The Death Of Someone

you say that your grief is still raw after 15 years My grandmother has been gone for almost 38 years and sometimes it feel just like it was yesterday. Some people grieve for days, some for weeks, some for months, some for years and some for a lifetime. It all depends on the individual. Please grieve as you please. It is no one's business. However, continue to make the most of your life. They would want it that way. Maybe they died under different circumstances, sometimes that makes a difference. As a matter of fact, I think you stated this, how true.

posted by drdianne on March 1, 2016 at 11:38 PM | link to this | reply

Re:

Yes, we do get pass it, however, we do not get over. There are constant reminders to us that they once were. Age does not matter, we still love them even if they have grown old and feeble. Although I am about 5 years younger than what my grandmother was, at the young age of 27 that was kind of old to me back then. No warning at all, then she was gone. our grands had worked until their day was done. You said that you were thankful to God for helping you to hold on, he is the one.

posted by drdianne on March 1, 2016 at 11:24 PM | link to this | reply

The Death Of Someone

Has many emotions depending on the circumstances.  I find that my grief over my grandpa is still raw after 15 years, yet my mother who passed last year is a very different kind of pain.

posted by Bel_Marshall on March 1, 2016 at 7:11 PM | link to this | reply

This post spoke volumes to me.  I lost my Great-Grandfather on New Year's Day, 1996.  Like you, I wanted to die and be buried with him.  I am so thankful to God for helping me to hold on.  I still miss my Grandpa, but I know my work here isn't finished.

posted by lovelyladymonk on March 1, 2016 at 2:58 PM | link to this | reply

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