Comments on MESSENGER, SPY OR WEAPON IS A CHILD OR GRANDCHILD USED?

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My hubby manages a law firm, specializing in divorce and family law. And oh, the stories he could tell. To me it seems like the parents get so completely involved in their own grievances and so focused on revenge against their spouse (you know, the person they once loved and made a life with...), that they lose perspective and fail to see how destructive their actions are. 

In general, it's sad. And when children become victims and pawns, it's just plain heartbreaking. 

posted by Mia890 on August 2, 2013 at 10:00 AM | link to this | reply

MsJudy

It is very sad.

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:34 AM | link to this | reply

C C T

Yes, material wealth has much to do with it. 

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:33 AM | link to this | reply

LostInLife

Me too!

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:32 AM | link to this | reply

FormerStudentIntern

The lawyer fees are high!  They can get you that way.  I am not sure in your case bmy in my family the one with the least money can get free legal service so the one fighting must end up penniless but will eventually get visitation or a divorce.

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:31 AM | link to this | reply

KABU

That is hurtful. I see it in my family and it is terrible.  My SIL used it with her children against my mom and brother.  It is even sadder that my mom was like that. Dysfunctional family.

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:28 AM | link to this | reply

JimmyA

Pawns they are and it is sad.  

posted by Dr_JPT on August 1, 2013 at 6:25 AM | link to this | reply

Yes, and you are right, it damages the child for the rest of their life.

posted by MsJudy on August 1, 2013 at 12:11 AM | link to this | reply

Dop you think it is a lot to do with material wealth?Once we were all swept along as a family equally sharing fortune and misfortune.  

posted by C_C_T on July 31, 2013 at 11:37 PM | link to this | reply

Yes

and it makes me sick...

posted by SomeoneElse on July 31, 2013 at 8:05 PM | link to this | reply

I have seen children used in such a way in my surroundings. One such example was my uncle's ex-wife would often refuse to let his children visit him even though it was his days under the custody arrangment. Through doing that, she took away his time to see the kids and forced him to have to pay a lawyer and all the legal hoops.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on July 31, 2013 at 7:09 PM | link to this | reply

well I have had 2 Grandchildren turned from me by their parent....

posted by Kabu on July 31, 2013 at 2:17 PM | link to this | reply

I must admit, I don't have any real first-hand knowledge of such incidences either, but I've no doubt they exist out there! It is a shame that some husbands and wives sometimes do use their children in such a way when divorcing, and I can only imagine what the long-term impact on these kids will be. Unfortunately there's a term for the children in these situations that even a non-chess player can relate to . . . pawns!

posted by JimmyA on July 31, 2013 at 1:18 PM | link to this | reply

I did not think of that but you are right.

posted by Dr_JPT on July 31, 2013 at 12:40 PM | link to this | reply

mariss9

I resisted and refused to listen too.  

posted by Dr_JPT on July 31, 2013 at 12:39 PM | link to this | reply

For some reason Romeo and Juliet just came to mind. Some children dont listen to their elders and love anyway. 

posted by Blue_feathers on July 31, 2013 at 12:14 PM | link to this | reply

I haven't seen it that much, but it sounds selfish and harmful; as a child I resisted it and refused to listen.    I could guess the end result would be bad since children want to be happy and love their parents and grand parents.

posted by mariss9 on July 31, 2013 at 11:59 AM | link to this | reply