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cynthia, sometimes I just have to write what I'm thinking and hope to touch
a heart or two, a mind or two. Thanks for writing a comment. Like minded people, we.
posted by
benzinha
on January 1, 2004 at 10:10 PM
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Benzinha, hard to respond to this
beautifully written post. I get so angry and feel helpless at the same time, but I know what jimmy68 said was true, you can only change yourself.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 1, 2004 at 12:15 PM
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Sadly yes it did, my friend
posted by
beachbelle
on December 29, 2003 at 1:47 AM
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beachbelle, it was the silence that killed him, wasn't it?
posted by
benzinha
on December 29, 2003 at 1:28 AM
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Benzinha
This is a subject about which people should not remain silent and yet it is the silence which extracts duch ahigh price.
posted by
beachbelle
on December 29, 2003 at 1:24 AM
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shawn and ricky, I thank you for taking the time to read this post and
for commenting on it. The world has so much potential to be its most wondrous self and when it fails to be that, I am saddened.
posted by
benzinha
on December 29, 2003 at 1:02 AM
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YOU HAD PUT TEARS IN MY EYES WITH THIS
Beautifully written and I'm sure Hector would've made even a greater contribution had he lived to our sometime-ignorant world.
posted by
RICKYJFICO_PASSIONTHRU_U
on December 28, 2003 at 7:45 PM
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Excellent. This was a very touching, very sad blog. I just wish those who need to read it actually did.
Shawn
posted by
ShawnMichel
on December 28, 2003 at 7:31 PM
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Blanquita, I know, I read your blogs. Thanks for talking about it all.
posted by
benzinha
on December 27, 2003 at 11:20 PM
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You're right I do know. I am bisexual, and I know I could never, ever tell my family. I would rather die than tell them. It doesn't bother me as much since I've entered into a monogamous relationship, but it's something I've had to deal with since I was very young. I can only hope to encourage the little ones in my family to be more compassionate.
Blanca
posted by
ohBlanca
on December 27, 2003 at 11:12 PM
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LadyK, marieth and blanca, thanks for commenting.
Your comments on Hector's life and those of others who feel that they cannot live a life like his, were kind and appreciated. Blanca, you do know. Family is everything on Earth to Mexicans and when they declare you "dead" to them because you admit homosexuality, you are dead already and have no family from then on. Some cannot face this desolation and with depression added, they make the only choice that they see before them, not seeing other choices, and they die.
This way they are still within the family, included, though dead. I miss Hector.
posted by
benzinha
on December 27, 2003 at 11:04 PM
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I was looking for that post you asked me to read when I stumbled onto this one. I'm so sorry for your loss, abuelita. He sounds like he was a wonderful soul. And being Mexican myself, I can understand the way he felt about his sexuality and family.
Thank you for sharing his story.
Blanca
posted by
ohBlanca
on December 27, 2003 at 3:12 PM
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MY CONDOLENCES...i am very sorry for your loss and everyone who lost him....you spoke well......HAPPY 2004!
posted by
marieth
on December 27, 2003 at 2:53 PM
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oh dear
Straight or gay, black or white, purple or green, some of us simply feel pain more acutely than others.... and can't find a way out of it. If his short life touched others, it was clearly a worthy one.
posted by
LadyKenobi
on December 27, 2003 at 2:26 PM
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RAD, it is such a compliment to be linked. I'm exhausted and have naps
on my tired old mind today. Thank you for reading and writing about this subject and for the link. Sincerely, your old Abuelita
posted by
benzinha
on December 27, 2003 at 1:54 PM
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You have been
linked 
.
posted by
Runs_at_dawn
on December 27, 2003 at 1:49 PM
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gome, yes, personalizing universal hatreds sometimes helps people to feel
something different about a certain subject. I have read the writings of others on this subject and their language didn't 'reach' me. I tried to reach out and touch. Thanks for the comment.
posted by
benzinha
on December 27, 2003 at 12:57 PM
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benzinha........ what a heart wrenching story
a couple of weeks back I posted a rant on here about this type of intolerance. I've read everything from the inane to the ridiculous on this site concerning the subject. I hope some of the authors of those pitifully intolerant and woefully ignorant postings get a chance to read this.
posted by
gomedome
on December 27, 2003 at 12:36 PM
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jimmy68, gracias. Thank you for understanding my friend's existence
and his pain of living an unauthentic and fearful life. He would have done so much for this world if he had been able to accept himself and be accepted. The world was too much with him and it failed to nurture his uniqueness. What a good obstetrician he would have been. So many unborn babies needed him and his skills, his empathy and knowledge.
Thanks again for stopping by and taking the time to comment extensively.
posted by
benzinha
on December 27, 2003 at 11:51 AM
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People are afraid and that makes them cruel...
It is really too bad that there is such a lack of acceptance of the different in our society...our world. I have found that no matter how hard I try I cannot change other people, places or things outside myself...indeed I can only change myself through accepting what is and then expending my energies in a productive fashion. Many, perhaps most people are afraid of what they are and do not want to look to deeply into the mirror...they manage this by persecuting those whose reflections are too close to the selves that they would deny. Self denial killed your friend and I am truly sorry; it is only because of others lack of acceptance that he could not accept himself. Difference should be cherished as it is the root of all creativity and beauty; without difference the world would resound with shades of grey that only a communist could love. May he walk with God...Vaya con Dios.
posted by
jimmy68
on December 27, 2003 at 12:53 AM
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