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Congratulations on a very brave and open post. A help to people who are

living with an alcoholic. And I agree love the person hate the disease, same goes for mental health issues too.

posted by Kabu on March 28, 2012 at 10:18 AM | link to this | reply

Thank you for taking the time to share such a story with us.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on March 28, 2012 at 9:46 AM | link to this | reply

Re: One thing I learned at my first session at Alanon

I totally agree with you. That is still an option for me. Detaching with love has been very difficult with the alcoholic still in the house. Thank you for your comments and encouragement.

posted by tamijo on March 28, 2012 at 5:34 AM | link to this | reply

Re: I grew up with it too...

I have been seeing a therapist for 6 years. She encouraged me to go to AlAnon. They say to go to 6 meetings relatibvely close together before deciding it is not for you. I would encourage you to try again. I know it is difficult, but I have found AlAnon is the only place I truly feel comfortable and accepted - because everyone there understands my pain and either has been there or is there now. Thanks so much for your comments and I wish you luck!

posted by tamijo on March 28, 2012 at 5:32 AM | link to this | reply

I grew up with it too...

It is so tough. My mother is an alcoholic. Daddy was one too later in life...and from the police reports, it's what caused his death. I still bear the scars from both parents' alcoholism. Mom was always a mean drunk. Daddy was a fun one, but sometimes "stupid." And, of course, I lost him--a drunk-driving accident is what I read in the police reports. Even though it's been nearly 8 years since his death, I still have a hard time believing he'd drive while drunk. I've been tempted to get the coroner's report, but scared at what I might find as well.  Reading the police report nearly broke my heart. I wasn't prepared for all the details and drawings of the accident.

Congratulations on your survival through a life wrought with pain from having loved ones abuse alcohol and drugs and often take things out on you. I empathize.  Perhaps one day I can see myself as something better than what I was raised to believe of myself (I was never good enough for my mom).

I've been to AlAnon, but it didn't help me. So now I just see a therapist.  She's slowly breaking through to me...oh-so-slowly.

posted by Jemmie211 on March 28, 2012 at 12:30 AM | link to this | reply

One thing I learned at my first session at Alanon

was that you don't have to stop loving the acoholic in your life, but you do have to stop letting them hurt you.  For me, that meant distance, both physical and in time.

Congratulations on being the survivor that you are! For learning insight and going beyond victimhood.

posted by Ciel on March 27, 2012 at 9:28 PM | link to this | reply