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# I identify with the earth and the pillow. The rest follows for all who identify with the opening lines.  BC-A, Bill’s R®st

posted by BC-A on July 1, 2011 at 9:07 PM | link to this | reply

I liked it because You just wrote your thoughts....and pretty close to the
bone thoughts too. scary in their reality.

posted by Kabu on July 1, 2011 at 5:28 PM | link to this | reply

Punctuation is very much a part of poetry! When one does use punctuation it is because the intend for the imagery to be uninterrupted and thus it is termed enjambment! The poet inserts the punctuation according to how they want it to flow and where they want the reader to stop! However, it is becoming increasingly popular to write one's own way! But, I thought it was a very poignant write with the final stanza asking the reading to agree or find another reason to the end! Nice work all the way around for me! sam 

posted by sam444 on July 1, 2011 at 1:25 PM | link to this | reply

jfm32...

I'll admit, I had the idea the other night as I was going to sleep and to be completly honest I don't remember the complete gist I came up with then.  So I started over.  Also, I do not know all the grammatacal stuff about poetry.  The periods are a hard stop, if you will.  I liken poetry to a jazz riff, it is what it is and sometimes the rules beg to be broken such as the last two lines, no period but an upper case W on the Why.

I think I was mainly trying to address the fact we have lots of fears and we don't even know the half of what we should fear.  Maybe I let it trail because I need to work on it some more, maybe it imitates life and you just never know.

posted by food4thought on July 1, 2011 at 11:35 AM | link to this | reply

Interesting poem and I like how you began and worked thru your idea. But started to wonder why you put a period (.) after each stanza. Poetry is not prose, and stanzas (as well as the lines that compose them) are what they are because they don't need stop signs. Would you put a colon (:)after each stanza? On the other hand, the commas and question mark work well.

As I read thru, the gears seemed to shift from the universal into the concrete. While I got the nuance, I felt your ending left me in a bit of a lurch. What is it that you now understand--the unending battle between good and evil, love and hate, the battle of big and small ideas?
Or that this is all part of a bigger process?

posted by jfm32 on July 1, 2011 at 11:21 AM | link to this | reply