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Your thoughts show how much you care and come with understanding, through it all.. that's great.

posted by yellowrose55 on September 5, 2010 at 3:41 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks Sam.

posted by CringeintheUSA on September 5, 2010 at 3:14 PM | link to this | reply

I think it is tremendous the resentment is disappearing for as you say, it is to your benefit, too! At least there is contact! I think the perfect mom were only on TV land! sam 

posted by sam444 on August 27, 2010 at 12:02 AM | link to this | reply

BC-A, thanks, I think you're right.

posted by CringeintheUSA on August 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM | link to this | reply

Re: All I can say -- it's her loss. I'd adopt you in a heartbeat...

Pat_B, I'd be honored.  I used to obsess over her abandonment when I fell pregnant with Leone, I mean, my last trimester was spend talking about it daily and still feeling shocked that she could do it.  However, I'm glad she did, she would have done a lot more damage otherwise.

I think what you tell yourself and what you feel don't often reconcile themselves, but, it's a step in the right direction.

posted by CringeintheUSA on August 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM | link to this | reply

dancin_grandma I am sorry to hear that
it's not easy growing up with that, but your granddaughter having someone constant in her life keeps it from becoming a lot worse.  You don't have the freedom to grieve for someone when they're still living and under the impression that they're the same person they always were, when to you, they are completely lost.

posted by CringeintheUSA on August 26, 2010 at 3:22 PM | link to this | reply

All I can say -- it's her loss. I'd adopt you in a heartbeat...
I know something about toxic mothers. Only took 60 years to come to terms with the things I grew up with. Now I know her hostility had nothing whatsoever to do with me. Her distress was not my fault. It's one thing to say it, quite another to feel it.

posted by Pat_B on August 26, 2010 at 4:58 AM | link to this | reply

My granddaughter could probably write this same post some years from now. I recognized my daughter in your mother.

posted by dancin_grandma on August 26, 2010 at 3:27 AM | link to this | reply

{ I guess that you have to go with your feeling about it. BC-A, Bill’s RJLst

posted by BC-A on August 26, 2010 at 12:03 AM | link to this | reply

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